What composition strategies can you adopt from peers? Glance at their essays and observe their strengths. Mention them by last name and include something they do well. Write 300+ words.
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7Riley Some composition strategies I can adopt from my other peers in my class are: flowing from one paragraph to the next, not being choppy, using different words to start sentences besides using the subject, “they”, or “the”. You can also learn more about compound, compound-complex, complex, simple sentences etc. just by reading through their essay and looking in the comments to see if they have marked their sentences, this can be quite helpful. I have noticed throughout my essay I was very mad about finding different ways to start my sentences I was always starting my sentences with “they”. I also struggled for the longest time making my paper flow and not making it choppy and unorganized, but I finally got it. I feel like looking through peers essays helps you with your own mistakes you made throughout your essays and later apply them to other assignments and better your self from their paper or papers.
I think that Hanson did a very good job flowing from one paragraph to another, his essay did not sound choppy at all, his was very smooth reading and it was interesting to read. Knutson did well on making sure that she did not start all of her sentences with “the” or “they”. She had a variety of different ways to start sentences and all of them were very creative. Jensen did a good job keeping her storing interesting and entertaining, she had really good vocabulary and her classification essay was creative and it was not like anyone else's in the room, it stood out to me. Huska did a wonderful job commenting all of her simple, compound, compound-complex and complex sentences making it easier for me to pick out mine in my essay just by reading hers. However, I noticed that many people struggled with starting their sentences with “they” or “the”. We did good in making our paragraphs flow from one to another and not many people used bland words which is always a good thing!
7Huska A few of the composition strategies I can gain from my peers are: greater sentence skills, the smooth flowing of sentences, a more exciting word choice, and varying sentence starters. It also helped me to be able to look at how others labeled their sentences (compound, compound-complex, complex, and simple sentences) so I would be able to label it on my paper while learning what the sentences mean. I always seem to confuse the sentences and so this greatly helped me in my learning process. I seemed to struggle a lot with the flow of my sentences and being able to change up my word choice so my friends and the thesaurus website helped me a ton. Looking at peer essays also helped me get my ideas flowing and gave me a great deal of inspiration to begin and finish my paper. By looking at your peers uniqueness of their papers it helps you get a feel for their voice which I feel like helps you find your own.
Wheeler is who helped me the most with all my writing by helping me correct my mistakes and by me reading their essay I was able to get a feel for what I was writing and how to begin my essay. They write so well that it just gives you that motivation to become a great writer and try to improve your writing. Lindemann wrote their paper in a different and unique way. Instead of putting all their descriptions in one paragraph they made different paragraphs targeting the different descriptions of each classification. It gave me a different idea on how to go about my writing and that I don’t have to do it in the same way every time. Overall I really like how all the essays are able to be viewed by everyone as it helps people get an idea on how to go about their essays and how to fix their issues when writing.
van kalsbeek 7 While reading other people’s classification essays I found many things that I could adopt as my own and use for future essays. Some of these were by using more transition words to liven up the essay more instead of using the common ones such as “the” and “they”. I really struggled on this part since I automatically tend to start majority of my sentences with “the”. Also by reading my peers essay I could see their voice in the essay by the way they described their different kinds of classes which helped me to see that I need to be able to describe more effectively. Another problem I had with the classification paper is the fact that my grammar skills are perhaps to say lower than most so by being able to label the different sentences in my essay allowed me to see how I would use them more. Besides the grammar another challenging thing was not wanting to just stuff random sentences in to make it to 5 pages. Other than the challenges I learned to use more efficient transitions in order to make the essay flow from one topic to the next instead it being so choppy.
I feel as though a very well written essay was done by Reinschmidt. She really did a good job of letting her sentences flow and being very descriptive in order to describe the different types of siblings. I really feel as though she had a strong voice and tried to give the reader the best and worst parts of siblings. In Hanson’s classification essay I really enjoyed the class names it made me want to continue to read his essay to learn more about his groups. Grode did a good job of spreading out his vocabulary words and using them in the right context. Overall I found good things in every essay I read but in others I could see the struggles of some people by not knowing what to write and just cramming things into their essay in order for them to meet the length requirement. I would also like to put that once I found what I wanted to write about I felt as though the words came to me more easier I just had to really focus and be determined to finish.
Some composition strategies I can gain from my fellow peers essays would be, to liven up my sentences with better word usage, be more diverse with the types of sentences I am using, and have a better flow from one topic to the next. From looking at your peers essays it can really help you see how they flow from one topic to the next and seeing this two or three times really helps someone like me who struggles with trying have a good transition between paragraphs. Also when reading a peer's essay and you see the use of a complex sentence or a compound sentence it may give you a new perspective as how to write those sentences. That was a big struggle for me, trying to incorporate compound-complex sentences and complex sentences correctly in my essay. Lastly I had some trouble with trying not to start each sentence with my classification name, which I feel I actually did alright with.
An essay that was composed very well I feel was done by Loosbrock. His essay structure was superb, he used all four sentence types throughout the entire essay which was hard for me to do. Also his transitions from one paragraph into another are very smooth, almost to the point where you do not realize sometimes that you are in a new paragraph. Another great point about his essay was the humor that he included. Another great essay was Johnke’s essay. The analogy that Johnke used was great. Also how Johnke compared parents to dogs I found to be very funny. Van Kalsbeek’s essay was another essay that I found to be very good. Her classification names were pretty good and the way she described each class made me want to continue reading and see what the next group would be.
Composition strategies vary greatly from person to person, some taking the easy route and others exceeding expectations, going above and beyond. The essays that pop out to me the most are the ones with peculiar and exciting vocabulary. Composers who use exotic words often are able to pull in the audience with a greater ease because the trite words are what dissuades readers from enjoying the literature and getting into it. Variation of sentence structure is important because it adds diversity and limits redundancy. With a greater diversity of sentence it is seemingly easier to get rid of unnecessary and boring words, such as: they, like, etc. If one is able to master the ability to add variation of sentence structure, increase the diversity of word choice, and eliminate irrelevant words, I am quite positive the beauty of their writing will improve immensely.
The great majority of our class composed excellent essays but my personal favorite was Loosbrock’s. The political scrutiny was humorous all while using tasteful words and an insane number of metaphors (the whole essay is a metaphor, so that’s pretty neat and unusual for someone of our age). Loosbrock’s essay is creative too because it covers a very current topic with the election fast approaching and debates commencing. Corcoran’s essay also stuck out to me because he used unconventional vocabulary all while keeping the ability to comprehend the essay. He added proof to his essay and examples such as giving the rating of movie by Rotten Tomatoes and what each group of moviegoers would watch like 12 Years A Slave and Amour. My third favorite essay was done by Lindemann. She used several puns which are alway good and allowed for her personality to shine through clearly. Another reason the essay she composed popped out to me was because she chose a interesting topic--a classification essay about essay writers--which I feel is both risky and ingenuitive.
1 Hauge Looking at your classmates’ essays can really help you with your own. You can decide whether or not to try something new in your essay or know what you do not want to have in your essay. I know I have a trouble starting my essays so I look a lot at people’s introductory paragraph and thesis statement. When I’m having trouble I look at their word choice and flow of their writing and think about how I can apply that to my writing in my own way or style. I also have a problem with wording things funny. In my head they make sense to me and when I read it from my screen it looks fine. What I really need to do is read my essay out loud so I can hear any weird sounding parts in the essay.
I think Headrick’s essay was very well written and had a witty introductory paragraph. His comparison of pencils to people is funny and gives a nice ease to the beginning of the essay. His classification makes people think in an unconventional way which is fantastic. I also very much enjoyed Presler’s introductory paragraph. She used examples and asked questions to the reader already making the reader think more and perhaps more interested in what is left in store. Her introductory was also very smooth and her sentences were very calm and not worded weirdly. In Harvison’s letter she states facts about the world but then adds her own opinion and say in how she thinks her topic is classified. She even uses four of the ten final exam terms in her introductory paragraph. I should really take note of that. I know that there are plenty of essays left to write and I am glad we have the chance to see our classmates’ essays so we can learn from them.
I have found that the market and possibility of ideas on this essay is absolutely uncanny. Smit has crafted an idea that is simply titled, “Boyhood vs. Manhood”, in which I have had a chortle and a half about. He has laid out all of his ideas onto his blank canvas of an essay, and though it’s not much now, the seeds of possibility must be pondered to grow. I have also discovered that Hicks has an incredibly grand sense of humor, for her draft, in which probably won’t even be her topic, is just a rant that sounds as if it’s spoken by a fast-talking Boston worklady. I was speaking it out loud to myself and had to stop frequently, because I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. I think that even though this idea of hers is jocular and strange, it is a pre show of what can be. I have learned from Poole that your introduction does not have to be cut and paste by any means. Hers begins almost backwards, and does not end the sentence with “knowing the difference between the two, bla bla bla.”, in which I find nearly annoying when it is to be read over and over in multifarious essays. She understands that an introduction should set the course and an essay must lead with awesome. Wheeler writes at such a magnitude that is intoxicating. The essay I had quickly skimmed exuded such grandeur, especially because of the topic: Art and Literature. The idea is so wonderful, and Wheeler has almost taken up all the required space for two entire pages! How in the world may somebody reach that before I am able to create even a topic? Furthermore, the essays I have seen are wonderful to say the least, and though I will be doing a video project instead, I admire them truly.
7 Grode Some of the composition strategies I can adopt from my peers are flowing my sentences. I somewhat flow my sentences, but it could be a lot better. I need to be able to recognize what types of sentences I have used too much of, especially in a row. Once I figure that out, I can use the different types of sentences more appropriately, such as complex and compound-complex sentences. I also could adopt transitions from paragraph to paragraph better. In my classification essay, i really struggled with transitions. I could learn from Blue on his essays. He did exceptionally well on his transitions. He started each paragraph with a strong sentence, which is a good idea. I could also learn from my peers how to use better and broader vocabulary. A lot of my words are bland, and using a better choice of vocab could really add a lot of color to my essays. I think Van Kalsbeek did a really sound job on her essay. She had very good words for her classes and did a really good job at painting a picture of each classification in my head. Being a Duke fan myself, I can definitely relate to her essay and I couldn’t have wrote it better myself. I also thought that Mork did a really good job. She described something to me that I had no prior knowledge about and did a really good job at painting a picture in my head. She also added a lot of humor in her essay, which made it her own and a lot more enjoyable to read. She clearly showed her personality in her essay and taught me a lot about something I knew nothing about. Wickersham did a really good job at adding a lot of his own humor into his essays. I hope to be able to add a lot of my own humor eventually in mine.
While reading my peers essays I realized that I could strengthen my own writing by varying sentence structure. When comparing them to my essay I noticed that some of my sentences began similar, they would start with the words "they" and "these" . In the future, I will look to improve the variation of structure and limit myself to only a few sentences starting with the same word. Another thing I could strengthen is my grammar, I could have used better verbiage that would make my writing clearer and stand out better. Another thing that I could work on is my transition from paragraph to paragraph. I could also strengthen my essay by adding sentence structures that I do not normally use. In the classification, we had to add examples of complex sentences and that was a struggle for me, after reading my peers I learned some new ways to add complex and compound-complex sentences into my essay. I think adding them will help eliminate sentence structure repetition.
An essay that I thought was written very well was done by House. In his essay he used fantastic sentence structure and made sure every sentenced varied, yet flowed together very good. He also used a good variation of vocabulary throughout his essay which I believe helped strengthen it significant amounts. Another essay that I read was by Hanson. His essay flowed very well and was not choppy at all. He used good transition words and did not get repetitive with sentence structure. He had a very good grouping system that tied well with him and his personality. Overall his essay was interesting, enjoyable to read, and very well written. You could tell that he was not short on information as there were not massive amounts of "fluff" or unnecessary information. I will use these examples of good writing to strengthen my compare and contrast essay.
6Zajicek While looking through others essays a skill I tend to lack is the ability to flow throughout my whole essay. I have strong paragraphs but transitioning from topic to topic is something I struggle with. Once I get this skill down I can then progress to other things I can work on such as stronger sentences. A Lot of the sentences I write tend to write are either simple sentences or run ons. I hope that down the line I can produce stronger sentences including compound, or compound-complex sentences. With these skills my essays will be stronger and hopefully more enjoyable to read. This is another thing that seems to prevail itself throughout my essays. In my essays they seem to be more formal, I would like my essays to be easier to read and more relatable to the reader. When all these skills are accumulated and I can put use to them in my essay I would think that my essays would be stronger and more enjoyable.
Searching through essays I came across Reinschmidt’s essay which I found she was very strong at transitions and composing strong sentences. In Reinschmidt’s essay she made sure to give the reader through detail of her topic letting the reader know the best and worst of her topic. Again this is a very important skill that many must have to develop strong essays. Letting the reader obtain as much information as they can about the topic will leave them with more information and an opinion about that specific topic. Along with Reinschmidt I found that Van Kalsbeek had a strong essay as well. In Van Kalsbeek’s essay she used strong vocabulary which lead me to believe she knew what she was talking about. When you have this skill you are more likely to persuade the reader based on the sole purpose it sounds like you know what you are talking about. After reading these two girls essay I hope to obtain these skills and put them to use in my essays.
6Koehn While reading my peer’s essays, I found ways to adopt new composition strategies to incorporate into future essays. I learned from reading other essays how to start my sentences better and vary my sentence structure. While writing my essay, I struggled with varying my sentence structure and varying how I start my sentences. I would start of sentences with ‘the” and “they” quite frequently, and I found that reading these over and over can be quite boring. Having the word “you” in examples and scenarios too frequently is also another thing I struggled with. Repeating this word can make reading the scenarios very redundant and choppy. Vocabulary being a weak skill of mine, I struggled with incorporating the five vocab words. Considering that was a struggle in itself, it was very hard to try and eschew from banal words, but to try and spice it up with fancy and exciting words. Besides varying sentences structures, reading these essays also helped me with incorporating unique transition words. I often have difficulty with trying not to use common transitions. Seeing how other students used transitions gave me ideas on how to start my paragraphs better in order to catch my readers attention right away, and to keep them entertained throughout my entire essay.
I feel as though Woodward did a fantastic job on varying her sentence structures. Almost every time she started a sentence differently and the structure within the sentence varied. The sentences had great flow as well as her transitions did from paragraph to paragraph. Van Kalsbeek also did a really good job staying away from banal vocab and adding spice to her essay. Another great composition strategy Van Kalsbeek incorporates in her essay was personality. While reading her essay I could really see her passion and love for Duke. Being able to read other classmate’s essays is a wonderful thing because sometimes we can't see what we are doing wrong in our own essays. Looking at their essays can really show oneself what their essay is lacking, and what they can change to make their next essay even better.
Although we have just started this comparison-contrast essay, there are many strategies I can adopt from my peers. For example, most of my classmates have outlines on their essays. Making this outline, helps ease their writing process. Knowing what you want to write beforehand helps prevent writer's block. Thus, I used this strategy myself and writing this essay has been a breeze. Not only have I learned to make an outline, but also to write about something I am passionate about. If you were to give me a list of essay topics from my classmates, I could probably tell you who chose them. Those who are writing about topics they are passionate in typically are very far in their essay because they are having fun writing about it. Hence, the most important strategy is to write about something you are passionate about, not something you found off the internet.
I think Bachman had a wonderful opening sentence. He used descriptive writing which helped me picture what he was talking about. Mendoza is doing a very good job about going in depth with her topics. Although she is only two paragraphs in, her information is complete which helps in reading her essay. Olthoff started his essay with superb sentence variety. His first sentence started with a dependent clause, the second started with a transition, and the third started with dependent clause also. He is just getting started and it looks great! Poole also used great sentence variety. She used transition words, prepositional phrases, and infinitives. In Wheeler’s essay, I absolutely loved this sentence: “[Sketcher] stories are shown in pencil strokes and paint swirls and charcoal smudges, each line, curve, and shape laid out to reflect their vision.” The verbs used in this sentence are amazing! My mind can picture this with ease. Those of my classmates who have started on their essay are doing a great job and I am excited to read more!
Some of the strategies I can adopt from my peers in the compare and contrast essay are how to successfully introduce my topic through the introduction. I have learned how to start it off in a way that catches and intrigues the readers to keep reading and stay interested. Also I have learned how to flow my sentences together, making one thought flow into the next to make my essay smooth and easy to read, which makes it more enjoyable to read. Being able to read other papers has helped me to not only figure out what I wanted to write about but helped me start my essay. Lastly, I learned the importance of sentence variety by reading through some essays. It is incredibly boring to use the subject at the beginning of every sentence and may cause you to lose the reader's attention. In order to keep them intrigued you must have a catchy introduction and an impressive essay to follow and so far my peers are doing a good job.
I really like Hick’s introduction to her essay. It starts off kind of like a play and you want to read more to find out what happens just like in a play you want to keep watching to see how it plays out. That introduction strengthens her essay and makes readers more intrigued to read. Wheeler has an incredible amount of descriptive words which makes it very easy to read and picture in my head. I do not get lost but instead, I want to read on because of how vividly it is written, and that is a major strength of hers. Smit has very good sentence variety in his essay, along with his verb usage. He did not use bland verbs like had, is, and said; he used verbs like cultivated, nurtured, and reared. By doing this he helps the reader to picture the essay better. Hopefully I will be able to use all of these aspects that my peers excell in to make my essay more comprehensible and descriptive.
3 Moelter As I have been looking through my peers essays, I have found a lot that I should work on to incorporate into my essays. I have a hard time coming up with topics to talk about, well at least for five pages anyway, I just don’t always have the mindset to be able to write and compose the way others have an easy time with. Also, I have to think of an easier way to add the vocabulary words we need to have in each essay, because adding them at the end like I did in the last essay was sort of difficult. Another topic I always seem to have difficulty with is starting out paragraphs or sentences. Therefore when looking through my classmates essays I have tried to look for these things that I struggle with in hopes that they can help me in my future essays.
Reading through them I realized that Hick and the Kueters are really good at including humor in their essays. Even though Hick may or may not end up with that comparison topic it was still a great first introduction paragraph. Even though the Kueters are both doing movies, they differ vastly from each other. One is about dinosaur movies and the other princess movies; reading through all these different essays make me realize how much room we have to pick and choose what we are willing to talk about. These essays really give you an idea of what the people who wrote them are like as they all have their own perspectives; such as, Molly’s essay will not look like Amy’s essay and Hicks essay will completely differ from the both of them. Everyone has their own personalities and ideas, therefore finding two essays that are identical would have to be the result of plagiarism. No two people have ever been the same not even twins like the Kueters, so why would their essays?
Although are still at a very early stage in our Compare and Contrast Essays, I can see many useful strategies used by my peers. Many students are conducting an outline, which I did not do. I think this will be very helpful for myself as I can organize my own ideas together instead of just thinking of an idea right on the spot and just writing about it. By reading my peers essays, I can see they use great sentence variety and even some Term Tuesday sentences as well. I personally haven’t even started to go into the process of inserting the vocabulary words and the eleven through twenty Term Tuesday terms because I like to do that last. Right now I am solely focused on achieving a three page rough draft by Friday and editing and revising later. I also noticed that many of my peers started their body paragraphs first, then saved their introduction and conclusion for last. I believe this could of been a very effective method for myself as I had trouble starting the essay at first. It could of saved me plenty of time and I could of been at three pages, instead of two. I also wish I could of picked a topic I actually had more knowledge of. I chose to pick a very broad topic because I felt at the time it would give me more to write about, but now I find myself having writer's block. Hopefully I figure this out and can achieve the three pages on Friday.
Poole has great transitions throughout her essay and although I do not know in depth the contrast between singers and instrumentalists, she makes it very clear in her essay. Wheeler also has great a great writing style, and keeps her essay filled with variety. She does not always start her sentences with the subject, as that can be very boring very quickly.
3 Myers By reading some of the comparison-contrast essays, one composition strategy I could adopt is using rhetorical questions. This would provide more voice in my essay. Looking at other people essays has helped me think of different ways that I can start introductory paragraph because I often struggle starting an essay. The essays I looked at did a good job on using different sentence structures. I feel that when I am writing my essay I use the same words too often. I also read essays that had different types of sentences. I feel like my essays mainly consist of simple and compound sentences which can become boring to read. In the classification essay we had to use the different types of sentences so I hope that creating those sentences will make using them in this next essay easier. Another strategy I plan on adopting is using better transitions. Having a good transition will keep the reader interested and want to continue to read the essay. Reading through some of the essays from my class has helped me think of different ways to write transitions. The essay I found that was well written was by M Kueter. The essay she wrote flowed very well and was interesting to read. I loved her topic so it made me want to keep reading it. It is clear that she is passionate about her topic. I think she did a very good job by using different sentence structures. I think this is very difficult to do and I hope to try more of it in this essay. It appears that she used a lot of the terms that we have learned. Also, she has already used the five vocabulary words in her essay. I think she has done a good job of linking the two movies together after listing the differences. Another essay that I looked at was written by A Kueter. She also wrote about two movies. I think she uses good descriptive words that keep the reader interested. I like her introductory paragraph because it hooks the reader right from the start. Her sentences also flow very well together. I hope to learn how to make my own essay better from reading these two very well written essays.
There are many strategies for writing an essay. I could space out my work time or do it in large chunks at one time; I could plan what I am going to type or I could write what comes to me; I could use skills I have learned from Term Tuesday or I could use the textbook to help each of my essays sound better than the one I wrote before. Any number of these strategies would be great ideas. Braley has not yet started the “meaty” portion of her essay, but she did do a great deal of planning ahead. In fact, I have adopted her idea and did so myself. Mendoza is a fast worker. She has already completed more than I have, and I should look at her essay to find out what her plan for meeting the length requirement is. Not only is there a requirement of quantity, but also quality. Barton has not yet begun writing, but he does have several good ideas. My subject is vocalists compared to instrumentalists, but if I had thought about it longer, I’m sure I could have come up with many more great ideas; biking vs. driving, typing vs. writing, children vs. adults, and pens vs. pencils would all be other options that would not require me to do a lot of research or learning about the subjects. All of my peers are intelligent and all of my peers are kind. I am positive that there is no limit to what they could teach me, as well as what I could teach them. This class not only requires studiousness, but also creates and refines it. I have no doubt that by the end of this semester, all of us will have learned and taught so much about english and writing and speaking.
1 Klamm I know that I need help figuring out my paragraph styling and choosing between alternating and block. Sherron is going block styling which I think is a good idea for her essay. She discusses inner beauty in one paragraph and outer beauty in another. I am comparing boy and girl friends and this might be a option for my styling of my essay. I would discuss female friends in one paragraph and male friends in another. Sherron is also very good at her word choice and I will try to emulate what she does in my essay. I need better vocabulary to make my essay sound better and more experienced. Loosbrock however is using more of an alternating approach. He is discussing both football and soccer in every paragraph. This could also be helpful to me when discussing my guy and girl friends. I also need to start my introductory paragraph. I have a very hard time coming up with what to say and also including what I am talking about for my whole essay. I really liked how Johnke started his essay. He had both facts and humor in his starting paragraph. He also discussed both of his topic and compared and contrasted them. I want to try and figure out a way to start my essay with comparing and contrasting my two topics. I feel like this will help me to show what I am going to talk about throughout my essay and it will also help in figuring out what to write in my introductory paragraph. Hockenstad has clear differences between her two topics. This is helpful in knowing exactly what she will be talking about for both topics. I could use this styling in my introductory paragraph to make sure the readers know what they are going to read.
My peers are a great resource, and most everyone wrote great essays for the Classification.
However, one essay that stood out to me--mainly because I edited it in our forums--was Reese’s. My problem as I wrote my essay was including enough voice to make the essay unique and personal, but Reese probably didn’t have too much trouble, as his essay is packed with imagery that makes his dislike of the faults of his classes and his contentment with their good qualities immediately evident. I think it carried his voice throughout the essay and helped pull it together into one flowing statement.
Another essay that I found very helpful was Headrick’s. He included great imagery and descriptions of his classifications in a way that made it extraordinarily easy to visualize the students around me as their corresponding pencil types. This was especially helpful to me because one comment that I got in our forums was to include more descriptive imagery, so Headrick’s essay is a great example for me to follow. I also liked that some of his imagery was humorous, like when he says, “They are cheap but sometimes really nice ones have sayings like ‘Math is Cool’ or ‘Do Not Do Drugs!’” I do not think that I include much humor in my writing; I find it hard to insert without sounding weird, but Headrick’s imagery made me chuckle without being a blaringly obvious attempt at humor.
A final essay that I have room to talk about here was Quanbeck’s. I admired the way his use of the required vocab words meshed into his essay. Reading through some other essays, the vocab words seemed awkwardly used and out place. However, Quanbeck managed to use advanced and varied words in the rest of his essay that made the vocab words fit right in, despite being colored bright orange. I think I did a decent job varying my word choice and using advanced wording, but Quanbeck did a great job, so I will probably be checking his essay if I get stuck trying to think of new word choice to use.
While reading other students essays, I have found many things that I should strive to do in my own essays. I sometimes struggle with writing, however the examples that are given to us make it seem so easy and they always are so put together and flow nicely. Using different sentence types can also make the essay much less choppy and give it more variety. They use different sentence starters, instead of just “them” and “they”. The good essays also add in their own personality, making it much more interesting and entertaining to read. Their word choice is good, and the verbs that they use are much more descriptive and uncommon than your typical “jump, ran, etc”. Having a more lively set of words makes your essay so much more detailed. Making my sentences flow together more is also something that I could learn from my peers because it is definitely something I have to work on.
I think Myers did a really good job on her essay. She compared the different types of people who went to sporting events to different types of animals. She had strong sentences and opinions, and was very clear when comparing the two. She had a clear voice and added in her own personality in order to make the essay more amusing. Her categories are relatable, because I have seen examples of them myself at certain games. Woodward also did a nice job on hers, and her transitions from each paragraph were really good. I feel as if I need to also work on having better transitions in order to make my whole essay much more neat and less rough. I love being able to look at my classmates essays. It gives me much more of an idea of what I need to personally work on in order to improve for my next essay.
6 McGee My classmates did a very good job of using sentence variation and good grammar techniques within their comparison and contrasting essay. They also did an amazing job of making their essay interesting so that I actually enjoyed reading the essay. They had interesting topics and great sentences that made reading flow and fun. They have also already started putting the grammar topics in, this helps them flow easier because you don't have the struggle to get them in at the end. Many of them also made a plan and wrote out the things they would write about before starting to write so that the writing process was easier and so it moved smother. My peers have done a wonderful job so far with writing their essays. I will try to adopt some of these techniques so that my essays are better. I will try to put in the essay terms and the vocab words as I write instead of at the end. And I will also use more variation of sentences so that reading flows better and is not so choppy and repetitive. I looked at Runia’s essay and she did a very good job of using sentence variation. She also did a great job of starting her paragraphs off with good and interesting sentences. She also has started putting some of the grammar terms in there and I believe that that is a great technique. He sentences are also written very well. I also looked at Kluin and her first paragraph was written very well and it got my attention and made me interested in reading the rest of her comparison and contrast essay. Her topic sentence is written very well and was very impressive. The sentence really drew me in and would made me excited for the rest of the essay. Both of these ladies and the rest of my class are doing a great job with their essays.
This blog task is a great choice because there are a variety of different composition strategies that I can adopt from my peers. One way I can figure out what I need to add or do more of in my essay is by reading other people's essays and seeing what they are doing that makes their sentence flow better and sound good all around in their essay. I have read a few of my peers essays and here is what I noticed. Waltner has a very strong introductory paragraph and something that he does well is adding descriptive and higher level nouns to help describe more in detail of what he is saying. As I was glancing over Beck's essay I noticed that she does a very good job at describing the details of cheer and dance to those who are unaware. If she did not explain it like she did then it would not be a very clear essay to the unknowns of the cheer and dance world. Galbavy's essay started off very well by grabbing your attention right at the beginning of his introductory paragraph by having his first sentence be interesting and really grab the attention of the readers. Jensen's whole essay is just attention grabbing. It for sure is a societal problem occurring right now and I will be for sure to go back and read her essay when it is fully composed to read more about this controversial topic. Wrightsman did very well in her essay by choosing a topic that relates to her peers so they can read it and understand exactly what she means and relate to what she is saying. She will also be able to receive help easily from her peers by asking them some differences between being a freshman and senior because they will be able to offer advice and add more topics to her essay. Reading my peers essays helped me a lot to figure out where my composing weak points are and to just receive ideas from others who may have some intelligent ways of writing.
Just from looking at the essays of my peers, I have seen many ways to improve my own essay. Looking at my classmates’ essays helps not only to jog ideas, but also for ways to diversify my essay or maybe squeeze in some final exam terms.
To start, I actually need to write a lot more before I can compare to other students because as the essay gets longer the ideas will be more complete (hopefully) and there will be more things to contrast. One thing I like in Beckman’s essay is her introductory paragraph. She is comparing sizes of college campuses, which is an extremely relevant topic considering we are all seniors. She starts off by admitting that the most common option nowadays when choosing what to do after high school is college. Whether the expectation has been impressed upon them after 12 arduous years or they do not know what else to do so they chose college, they want to make sure they choose the right college for them. I also like how she mentions nearly all the possible routes students can take after high school; she starts vague and gradually hones in on her topic of college.
Runia’s introductory paragraph is simply captivating. She does such a fantastic job of setting up the suspense and highlighting the major way color guard is similar to acting: they both perform in front of an audience. Runia appears to be well-educated on both aspects of performing and is able to corroborate her claims with specific examples, like color guard creeping like demons. Her use of vivid imagery truly makes her essay one you want to read to the end. Currently, she also has her essay set up in a unique way; she has one paragraph contrasting color guard and explaining the difference, another paragraph contrasting acting, and then a comparison paragraph that unites the two.
Looking through some people’s essays, I find myself looking toward their structural components a lot. How they set up a sentence to make it seem like one sentence just flows to the other is something that I, myself, am striving toward. Going along with components that flow, from looking at the essays of other individuals, I know that I need to work on my transitions between my paragraphs. I have been tending to just jump into the next topic, when I know that I need to slow down and even talk about the previous subject before continuing on with the separate paragraph. I also have come to admire how many different adjectives people can fit into their essays all throughout. I think I tend to be really good at them for a period of time but then they slowly dwindle away toward the end. Varying sentence structure by having more semicolons and commas will also be something that I strive toward while completing the comparison-contrast essay.
Something I admired in Sherron’s essay is that she’s starting off with: Beauty. I think it accentuates and adds to the appeal of the essay overall. Sherron also has a direct audience when she writes because she makes it so relatable. Her essay is about how you perceive your beauty; she starts out by saying that parents often tell their children that they are beautiful, that everyone wants to emulate a celebrity, and that people just want to fit in. In my opinion, she does a fantastic job of grasping the audience and it makes them want to keep reading. The other essay that I looked at was Runia’s. She has a way with words in that they never seem dull. Adjectives are thrown around so that you feel like you’re there with her. To describe a sound, she used “click, click, click,” which tremendously adds to her personality coming through in her essay. The onomatopoeia makes it so that her essay seems to actually speak to you.
In general, many people are using a different variety of sentences. I have noticed that some people enjoy using compound and complex sentences for the majority of the essay. Others have used too many simple sentences. I also noticed that some people are using compound-complex sentences too much for their essays. It is great to use these sentences, but one must use a variety of sentences to make an essay truly amazing. It is imperative to vary sentence length by using a majority of medium sized sentences, but also mix short, simple sentences and long, compound-complex sentences into an essay so the reader will not become bored and the essay will stand out amongst the rest.
Glancing at individual peer’s papers I have noticed that many of my classmates have used excellent vocabulary. One paper with a very large use of vocabulary would be Van Kalsbeek. Van Kalsbeek has used words from our vocab book, words that I had to learn the definition from an internet search and some words in her essay are easy, but unique words. I particularly enjoy words with the simple use such as: clatter, banal, pubescent and grandeur. Wickersham has a diverse use of grammar in his essay. I think that if I need assistance with the use of semicolons, dashes or variety in styling sentences, I may ask him for help. Wickersham’s essay is only a page long thus far, but that one page is jam-packed with some awesome uses of grammar. I also admire the topic that Jensen has decided to write about because her intro paragraph was flawlessly designed. I enjoy her use of the ellipses and dashes, but truly enjoy Jensen’s hypophora the most. Extracting bits and pieces among each paper will help me execute my essay with little mistakes. I hope that I will be able to glance at other’s papers to gain inspiration for my essay when I get the incurable case of writer’s block.
When looking through my essay, I find there is much to desire when it comes to writing in different formats. I like to use a lot of the basic cut and paste forms of sentences that begin with the subject and then use a verb to help close of the sentence. Every now and then I seem to add a little twist, but I feel that I could achieve greater goals if I could become more unique in the way I write rather than the cookie-cutter sentences. Bransrud excels greatly about having his own way to both start and stop sentences. He is able to make each sentence seem different from the last, whether it be by having a prepositional phrase or starting with an infinitive. With him writing in this style, his essays have a special characteristic to them that also helps them all flow together.
Another composing strategy that I could gain from my peers is to discover and use more forms of words in my essays. I find myself using the same words over and over when it could be avoided. I miss out on eloquence and style when I use “they” or “many” too frequently that I sound like a broken record. Looking to find the key phrases and synonyms of large quantities of words would help improve the intelligence and voice of my essays. Willard is absolutely astounding when it comes to word choice. His ability to have sentences make sense while still using complex and extravagant words is purely breathtaking. His style of writing allows him to freely use any word that nobody could know the exact meaning of and still have everyone understand the overall meaning. He has a great gift to use such amazing words, and at the same time he also has flow to his sentences and his paragraphs in every essay.
A few composition strategies I could gain from my peers is using better sentence structure and making my whole essay flow and not being so choppy. I also need to looking in using more variety in my word choices, having more sentences starters, and all together having a better understanding how to begin with each paragraph. Something I have been struggling with is understanding when to end each paragraph, and how to separate my ideas into multiple paragraphs. I also would like to learn to get rid of the common words like “the”, “they”, “this”, and “there”. These words are just so redundant and boring. By reading my peers essay’s I have gotten a better understanding of an active voice, and how to use semicolons, colons, and commas more effectively. It also very helpful seeing how they use compound, complex, compound-complex sentences so I can comprehend how to use it in my future essay’s. I feel like looking through my peers essay’s I can open my mind to other formats of writing essays, and I enjoy comparing them to mine so I can see the mistakes I have in my own writing.
I think that Hanson did a very good job on having intriguing paragraph transitions, and made his writing feel very natural. He clearly knows what he is writing about and it helps you better understand the difference between a powerlifter and a bodybuilder. Hanson had lots of different word choices for each sentence, and didn’t make his essay sound boring. All around his vocabulary was amazing, but you could still understand what his words meant by the context of each sentence. Else had a great start to his comparing and contrasting essay. His description in his essay was absolutely fantastic. I really enjoyed his vivid imagination and you can see that come to life on his paper. He has a great active voice and is a very good example for it.
1 Benitez Nobody is the same when it comes to writing an essay, everyone has their own words and special way to say something. We can then compare our forms of writing and take parts from each to create a superb essay. Something I noticed from others is the great paragraph transitions. When you have good transitions everything flows a lot better, connect everything, make it less choppy, and it is especially good if these transitions are funny and memorable. Another thing that I saw was a variety of sentences structures other than the simple subject verb sentences. When you add variety you also add to how interesting your essay is. Especially when you structure a sentence a certain way to increase its emphasis. If you want to be considered as an excellent writer you need to use a wide variety of words that sound more eloquent that “stuff” or “things”.
I looked at a few people’s essays and I thought there were a lot of good ones. Someone that I thought did very well was Hanson, he had very good paragraph transitions by generally including what you were talking about last paragraph and getting right to the point about the next topic. He did a really good job on describing stuff that someone might not know about. Another person I saw that did very well was Willard. He had a great subject and has used quite a variety of sentence structures in his essay. He has used a parenthesis, dashes, and colons all of which are not common and can be difficult to include correctly. He also is good at using a variety of words. He goes beyond using “stuff” he uses words like societal and contradictory which aren’t words that are rare and no one knows. What they mean but are different enough that it keeps it interesting.
Each individual person contains their own unique, personal writing style. However, through collaboration, many people can perfect or advance their writing styles to a significantly higher caliber of writing. While perusing through my peers essays, I have noticed that they exhibit exceptional word choice, efficient and ethical outlines, and fantastic sentence fluency/diversity. This is one dilemma that I considerably struggle with in my writing, sentence fluency and diversity. Integrating different styles of sentences, such as compound and complex, in a successful, intriguing, and correct way proves a difficult task for me. Outlines also prove a struggle for me because I am able to organize my main ideas, but I am not able to successfully create an alluring introduction in a efficient manner. A final element that I feel my peers accomplish exceptionally well is concocting essays that fit their own personal styles and beliefs. As I wander through others essays, I hardly ever look to see who is composing it because many are able to integrate their own individual mannerisms into their essays so effortlessly that it is simply mind-boggling.
Wheeler’s essay is extremely well worded, crafted, and organized. It is easy to see that much thought and consideration has been poured into her essay. Her sentence structure is impeccable and truly captivates me as a reader. It leaves me wishing that she was much farther than only three pages! Bachman’s introduction is simply amazing. With his descriptive words and amazing imagery, it makes me feel like I am the athlete about to compete on the grid-iron. His introduction is well executed in the sense that it begins interesting, and then craftily transitions into the topic of his choice. Though not many other essays are quite as far at this time, I expect that many more will emerge with as much success in composition as these few that I have had the privilege to read.
1 Sjogren Glancing at your classmates’ essays can really help improve your own writing. You can acquire new techniques which will make your essay stronger and more enjoyable to read. Some composition strategies I can adopt from my peers is starting sentences with other words besides the subject. I tend to start most of my sentences with “the”. Another strength I could add in my writing would be better transitions. My paragraphs need to flow together more in order to make my entire essay coherent. A third skill I have seen in my classmates’ essays is intriguing vocabulary words. Using more exciting words in my papers will help pull the readers into my essay instead of pushing them away with my bland choice of words. I could also write more complex sentences to build up my essay. Adding more complex sentences will help create variations in my sentence structure. After I put all these skills to work, my essay will be bigger and better.
After observing some essays that my class wrote, I found Headrick’s essay to be comical, but also greatly detailed. He described his classes in a way that made it easier for me to picture. The visual effects in his essay helped me understand the pencil types more and relate them to the people around me. Another essay that stood out was Willard’s. His vocabulary, choice of words, and sentence flow is absolutely amazing. Throughout his essay, he keeps you fascinated by using big words that illustrate his topic. A third essay that I read was Presler’s. Right away in her introductory paragraph, she interacted with the readers by asking questions. This helps keep the reader involved and it makes them actually think about what they are reading. Presler also did pretty well at sentence structure. She uses different sentence starters all through her essay.
After reading through several comparison essays, I have gained an appreciation for the varying styles of sentences. Alternating styles add much needed variety to many essays, making the essay far more interesting to read. Along with variety, differing styles help the author illustrate their ideas in an easy-to-understand fashion. Other essays altered the format of certain words to add emphasis to their thought process as well as even more variety. Ms. Wheeler shared her thoughts wonderfully throughout her essay; they were well articulated and described her passion on the subject very well. The variety in which her sentences are written grabbed my attention and held me to the paper until I was done. The Keuters used italics to differentiate the title of the movies from the rest of the text. With the format change, their essays were more visually appealing than without. Ms. Sorenson’s essay held a lot of voice in her sentences. While reading, her thoughts jumped out at me as if she had been trying to tell me in person. After about 7 weeks of class, I have come to understand the importance of sentence variety. My desire to improve as a writer has been heavily influenced by the usage of these sentence styles. I often find myself frustrated with the wording of my essays as I know they are choppy and without flow, but I had never known to many ways to improve the sentence quality. Using sentence variety will significantly “spice” up my essay, giving a more even flow of words for the reader to enjoy. Also, striving to incorporate a large vocabulary into my essay will (hopefully) improve the reader's understanding and enjoyment immensely. Among other improvements I would have made, voice is at the top of the list. I often find it difficult to portray myself accurately throughout my essays because I overthink to much and hinder my own progress.
7 Knutson Everyone has a different style of writing and it is really helpful the different styles of essays in my own class. I believe that there is a lot that I can learn from the essays of my peers. I saw a lot of great essays and unique topics. From the essays I saw I adopted a few strategies such as how do incorporate description into my essay in order to create a clear visual of what I am trying to get across. I have been working on including this in my essay and have started to use a thesaurus to broaden my word choices. In addition to the descriptions I saw new strategies for transitions in essays, instead of the normal “the,” and “they,” instead I’m working to start my sentences with something other than my subject like what I have seen in other people’s essays. The last strategy I learned is how to better include complex, compound-complex, compound, and simple sentences into my essay. I have had a hard time and seeing examples of each type has really helped me to better my sentence complexity. I am going to take all of these strategies and apply them to my writing.
In Riley’s essay she did a really good job making her essay flow together instead of making it really choppy. She related it to the reader’s life reminding me of my own childhood which draws me in and I thought that was a very good technique. Harvison used really good word choice in her essay to make everything more descriptive and create a better visual for the reader. She also had a good voice throughout the essay. The last essay I looked at was Else’s and he had a very interesting topic I thought which really added to the uniqueness of his essay. He had great word choice and made everything flow together in a way that is appealing to the reader. Also did a great job of incorporating different types of sentences into his essay such as compound, complex, and compound-complex. Overall I think reading other people’s essays has giving me a better understanding of how I should better my writing.
A few of the strategies I have developed from my peers include: a wider use of words, developing habits of avoiding the first person, making sentences flow better, and finding better ways to develop full thoughts. Through the help of leaving comments, and reading through their essays, I feel as though I have been able to adopt these new habits much better than if this had been an english class more similar to the ones I had taken in the past, here my own peers are helping me out and I help them out; together, we all gain a greater knowledge of how to compose a much better essay. Through looking at the essays of my peers, I have learned better of the types of sentences, where to use them, and how to recognize them. Finally, I had consistently used small words, or words that I would use repeatedly, such as the word “these”.
Reading back through some of the classification essays, I found that Reindl had many areas of strength that I had not recognized before. In Reindl’s essay, I found that he had his own voice in the essay. Knowing him personally, I found that what he had said in his classification essay would be things that he would say in day-to-day life. His essay contained humor that was easily understandable by someone who dabbles in video games like myself. I also think that Quanbeck showed strengths in his transitions from paragraph to paragraph. His transitions do an amazing job in setting the stage for not only what the paragraph is about, but also the mentality that the actors have in the process of putting on a performance. Finally, I feel as though Hoffmann did an excellent job in the classification essay of showing how to go in depth with his ideas and descriptions of each of the classifications.
1 Wrightsman I have learned that your classmates can be just as helpful as your teacher. From just taking a few glances at other people’s work and essays, I have noticed things that I will use in this current essay or things that I can use in the future. I have picked up on things like using bigger words or coming up with better sentences. I struggle the most in my essays with using vague words and having boring and dull sentences. I think that seeing others use their words and ideas different than how I have used mine in their own essays has helped me come up with original topics and plans to talk about in mine. I can also adopt sentence structure from my peers essays. I have also seen ideas in others essays that make them more enjoyable and easy to read. I plan on bettering my essay by using tips that I have taken from my peers.
After looking at a few of my classmates essays I have noticed some things. Sjogren has a very good strategy of using different words for the beginning of each sentence which helps gives it a better flow. Using different words help define each sentence into its own. Presler uses a variety of fun and exciting words that make her essay pop and not be so bland and vague. She lets the reader know that reading essays should be invigorating and make you excited. Humor is asset that Headrick has and knows how to use well. He takes humor and transforms it into an essay to hook his readers into wanting to read the rest. If you really want to be informed and learn something, I would suggest reading Willard’s essays. He uses factual information and words it to sound very intelligent and solid.
3 Sorenson So far this essay seems easier to write than the classification essay, but there is still a lot I can learn from my fellow peer’s writing techniques. I really liked Hicks introductory paragraph. It clearly conveys the topic of her paper and what she is juxtaposing. At the same time, it entertains the reader and really draws them into her paper. You are not entirely sure where her paper is going but you know that it is funny and that it is going to be good. It keeps you reading. I would like my intro to be as compelling and captivating as hers. Another classmate’s writing that I like is Wheeler. Her writing is at a level that I wish to reach through this class. I love how every sentence is different and has a purpose. I struggle with having a mix of purposeful, good sentences and filler fluff that takes my essays down a level. She uses a good variety of sentence structure, as well as a variety of vocabulary. I admire her work and hope to bring some of what she does to my own writing. I was also impressed by how quickly she wrote this essay. I have barely completed one page and she is close to finishing the required number of pages. Her title is also very creative. The third essay that I liked was Amy Keuter’s. She has far surpassed the number of required pages, and they are all full of good content. I liked her topic and found her introduction to be humorous. Her essay was enjoyable and fun to read. It sounded educated but the subject was not heavy, making eight pages a breeze to read. I liked the way she incorporated quotes. It fit with the flow of her essay and she put it in a place that made sense. I too hope to add quotes to my essay, and in the same way she did.
3 House This essay has left me befuddled. I have no idea what I am going to do and it is 9 p.m. Wednesday night and I need 3 pages by Friday. I have gone through my classmate's various essay numerous times hoping one of their ideas will strike a chord within me... I'm still waiting. A few things I have noticed though is that people should play more to their suits and hopefully it will outweigh their weaknesses. Waldera has a extremely appealing intro paragraph due to the fact it is something we all can relate to and it demands your attention; he is gonna go deep into this subject, probably. Hopefully I can learn from Waldera so that my essay can mirrors his in the sense of an effortless relatable intro paragraph. Sorenson writes really well, she has a way of molding words and sentences together so that flow effortlessly form one idea to another idea. This is something I hope to improve on as I spend more time reading her essays and other people essays. I want to be able to pick up these abilities that they are good at and have them transfer over into my writings. I like Wheeler's topic due to the fact that I am a book lover and dabble in the works of art. She does a really good job on giving to areas of creation that does not always receives appropriate attention in today's society. Wheeler has a special way of viewing the world around her and she has an extraordinary talent by being able to describe and explain it in such clear details of an idea that leaves people speechless. I aspire that one day I can get to a level that my unique ideas can come across so clearly and direct that it can effect the people around me. It is now 9:18 and crunch time is upon me. I have a few inkling of ideas on what to do for my essay and maybe once more through everyone else's essay will solidify these ideas into a solid coherent thought.
1 Harvison I have found that reading through some of my classmate’s work has forced me to improve my own writing skills. Many of my classmates chose very creative and interesting topics for their classification essay. I was very impressed with how many times they were able to use different sentence structures or more descriptive adjectives. I find myself struggling with changing up my sentences, so I have found it helpful to be able to read through others for a little inspiration. My goal for the end of the semester is to be able to add variety in the way I compose each sentence and to add more variety within my own essay. I also hope to prevent myself from using “them, they, and this” this may be a huge challenge for me because I found myself repeating these words numerous times in the classification essay and also so far in the compare-contrast essay. Hopefully as the year progress I will be able to continue to pull inspiration from my peers to make my own essays better as well as learn new writing techniques.
After looking through some essays written by my classmates I was very impressed with all of the essays I read. I found Willard to be one of the best essays out of our class. He was able to make his essay coherent while also using complex vocabulary. He was also able to make his essay interesting yet pretty accurate compared to the high school setting. I think Headrick was able to add a serious yet hilarious tone to his essay. He took a strange comparison to begin with yet turned it into a very interesting essay. I think Bowman did an excellent job of taking a topic I was not very familiar with and making it interesting and easy to understand as well as follow.
6 Reinschmidt I feel that my peers are extremely useful tools when it comes to improving my comparison-contrast essay. It greatly benefits me to observe their strengths and weaknesses, and incorporate what they do well into my paper. Van Kalsbeek did an exceptional job of describing the feelings that you have on your first day of freshman year, as well as describing how much it changes on the first day of senior year. She incorporates vocab words in an efficient way that improves her essay overall. She also strategically places her dashes that add imagery to her sentences and give the reader a sense of her position. I really enjoyed her simile about the lion in the serengeti; I believe it adds some humor to her paragraph. Waltner ends his introduction strongly with captivating sentences that will definitely interest the reader. He introduces his comparisons by describing how essential each role is to each team. He also acknowledges all of the important roles when it comes to a team, including the managers and coaches -- he does not only focus on the star players. I believe that the way Myers begins her essay (with a quote) immediately hooks the reader. She chose a quote that nearly all people can relate to: nobody yearns to relive their middle school days. She chose a very intriguing topic that a lot of people would be willing to read. She has a strong voice that makes the essay relatable for the reader, and they probably will envision their middle school days while doing so. She makes it clear that the transition will not be a smooth one, as most students already know. I like the way she used an ellipsis to begin her first body paragraph because it adds suspense for the reader to see what the paragraph will be about. Looking through my classmates’ essays has given me a better idea of how to write and adjust my essay to be its very best.
Composition strategies that I can adopt from my peers to include is limit my usage of the same words, opening a paragraph with a more distinctive sentence(s), and incorporating all four types of sentences. I have noticed in my recent essays that I rename nouns with the same word frequently, and do not realize how annoying it is to read. Also, I feel like reading others essays and noticing the way they introduce a new paragraph with their opening sentence is something I should look for and transfer to the sentences in my essay. It takes me quite a while to determine how to begin a paragraph, and I feel it disrupts my flow of composing essays. With the help of my peers’ examples, I am sure it is something I could easily improve on. Using all four types of sentences efficiently is another area I tend to lack in. Complex and compound-complex sentences are things I do not typically include an abundant amount of, but is definitely something I should include to create a more intriguing essay.
After glancing and observing essays composed by my peers, I observed specifically in Livingston’s essay, his spectacular introductory sentences in his paragraphs. He relates an area he has expertise in and creates a way to make it relatable to a reader with less knowledge on the subject. His uniqueness in his introductions are an asset I should include in my writings. Also while browsing, I came across an essay by Headrick. He included a variety of ways to describe his topic without using the same words constantly. He also inserted many different examples of types of sentences, including complex and compound-complex sentences, which I lack in my own essay. Peers can help improve essays sometimes as well as any teacher can, and viewing different types of writings and their structures is a helpful way to improve my own.
6 Etrheim While reading through my classmates’ essays I have learned that I could work on how to start my sentences and making them flow a lot better. In my essay I usually start with “They” or “The”. It was a struggle for me in my classification essay because I would always want to start with “they”. I am hoping when composing this comparison-contrast essay I can learn from my peers to use different words to start sentences with I do not commonly use in my writing. Another thing I could learn from my peers is how to transition from paragraph to paragraph making it flow well. I struggle with thinking of transitions that fit into the certain areas I want them to. Going through my peers essays, I could tell whose it was because they were all good at making it their own with their personality showing in the essays. I hope when my peers read my essays they also see personality in mine.
Looking through my classmates’ essays and an essay I thought was well written was done by Van Kalsbeek. Van Kalsbeek did a really good job with her sentence structure and transitioning from paragraph to paragraph. Reinschmidt was another essay I found well written. I think she wrote that well because I have two older siblings and I can agree with the first three classifications. One thing she did well on was starting her sentences. Most of the time, she started her sentences different from the ones previous. She also did a good job with spreading out her vocabulary words and making them flow with her sentences. I hope to learn from both of these girls. They showed me how transition better from paragraph to paragraph, sentence structure, starting my sentences with different words, and putting in my vocabulary words and making them flow well.
As I glance at a few of my peers beginning essays, I am amazed at what we all can learn from kids our own age. I have noticed my essays lack a few composition strategies: descriptive word choice, intriguing introductions, and deep analogies. As I am not a very avid reader in my busyness of life, I feel like I have not given myself much of a chance at being great at word choice, so I really need to work on descriptive, higher level thinking words while writing. My introductions are typically something I struggle with, because it is what is going to lead into my whole essay--kind of important. Sometimes I wait to write intros until after I’ve got my main paragraphs, but even then I find them to be boring and without personality. Lastly, I have a hard time thinking deep into connecting things to other things in my essay. I really need to work on strengthening analogies in my essays. Scrolling through Van Kalsbeek’s essay, I admired the varying word choice. Besides the fact that she had required vocabulary words from this year, I even recognized words from past years also. I wish to be more descriptive and really make the reader feel like they are present in any situation I describe, just as I felt like I was at a Duke basketball game while reading Van Kalsbeek’s classification essay. I learned from Headrick’s essay that the key to grabbing the reader’s attention is an interesting introduction. He used statistics and other unknown facts in his intro, which caused curiosity in my mind. Also the fact that he was comparing humans to different types of pencils seemed very odd causing me to want to read more. Talcott displayed a very profound effort when comparing pieces in chess to the AA class athletics. I aspire to have deep thinking like this in order to add depth to my essays and have more than just what is on the surface.
Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses when it comes to writing essays. For me, some strategies I could pick up from my classmates is transitioning from one paragraph to the next as well as using more active verbs in my essay. I really struggled coming up with better words than is and are which produces an uninteresting essay for the readers. In my classification essay before I edited it, I had used is, are, and be a combined one hundred times. After editing, I managed to get the number closer to forty but that is still way too redundant. Hopefully, with the help of my classmates, I can adopt habits that will enhance the quality of my essays.
A great classification essay I read was done by Headrick. He projects a voice in his essay that is easy to read and makes me want to continue. Also included in his essays is humor which can be difficult to add but Headrick seems to do so effortlessly. Both of these are things I need to work on throughout the year to make my stories more captivating for the audience. Another essay done extraordinarily well is Loosbrock’s. The way his essay flowed made it really easy to follow, but he also made new paragraph hardly noticeable. I feel my essay had obvious breaks between paragraphs, so I hope to replicate Loosbrock’s skills for future essays. Something I find extremely impressive is how he used a metaphor to get his essay a cross; not many people could have done it as well as he did. Finally, I am really impressed with the word choice used throughout Hoffmann’s essay. Words such as denizen, treacherous, relishes, and cacophony appear all throughout his essay keeping it fresh for the audience to read. Reading through he uses unique words; however, it goes virtually unnoticed because they fit in smoothly it does not feel out of place at all.
I enjoy looking at classmates' essays to get ideas for my own paper and I believe that having that capability enhances my writing and helps me get through writer's block. Some things that I would like to learn from my peers' writing is how to get more descriptive writing and how to write a better introductory paragraph. I am not very fond of my introductory paragraph because I do not believe it relates to both teenagers and toddlers very well and there is something else about it bothers me but I cannot quite place it. When I look at other students' essays, they flow very well and that is something I want to work on. Many of them use exemplary descriptive writing that captivates the reader and draws them into reading the rest of their essay, which is something I am striving for. I would also like to use stronger vocabulary that has a better sound and cadence than what I have been using.
One essay that I believe has exceptional vocabulary and description is Runia's; when I read her's, I felt what she was describing. I was drawn into her essay from the very first sentence. It is easy to tell that she is well-read in both acting and colorguard and that is what I want my essay to feel like. An essay that has very good vocabulary is written by Hoffman. He has not used any of the five required vocabulary terms but his word choice is very strong and he keeps the essay from becoming redundant. Another essay with good word choice is Else's. His paper gives off a survivalist feeling and has a mood that is akin to being lost in nature and finding mountain lion or a bear. Both Hoffman and Else have educated words and use them very well. I will continue to look at their essays and more as I write mine.
Composition strategies that I have obtained, because of my classmates, would be better word choice, proper punctuation, and different ways to start my sentences. My main struggle throughout the classification essay was sentence starters. I was not very skillful with thinking of different words to begin my sentences but reading some of my classmates essays helped me to think of new and more exciting ways to start a majority of my sentences. Also, word choice was difficult at some points in my essay. Most of the time I use common words to describe something like: very, a lot, good, etc. So I needed some assistance with using better and more upper level descriptive words. Punctuation can be an obstacle while composing an essay. I am not the best with knowing when and where to place a comma, semicolon, dash, etc. So, I skimmed through some of my peers essays to see when and where they placed their punctuation and it helped fix some of my own. Being able to have accessibility to my classmates essays helps a ton when writing because they help me obtain the knowledge I lack.
Wickersham uses strong vocab and he really helped to add some great vocab into my essay to make it sound more upper level. Tingle does a great job placing punctuation in the correct spots of a sentence. Her sentences are usually nicely structured so she helped to fix any incorrect punctuations in my sentences throughout my essay. Else does an awesome job with adding variety throughout his essay and making it humorous. He writes very passionately about his topic and gives out ideas on what to write and how to start. Being able to have our classmates comment and critique our essays is a great way to help us improve our writing skills.
3 Casey I would have to say that the first one that I took a glance at, which was Bachman’s, really grabbed my attention right away because of the imagery he geniusly placed at the beginning of his introduction paragraph. I love when writers do that (start in the middle of an action scene) in books, it gets me hooked every time. He also knows what he’s talking about and it is very clear, even if he doesn’t he plays it off like he does very well. It flows very well also. The second one I looked at was Hicks and I love the way she has her own scenario going in the intro paragraph, it really adds humor to her essay and brings you in while making you want more at the same time. These are both critical things to have in an essay that you want to be more than just informational, you want to have some flare to it, you do not want people starting to read your paper and decide halfway through that it’s not worth finishing because you were too boring and unimaginative. I could take a lot from either of these essays, they are obviously very talented writers. Something I could take away from their essays could be adding humor to my own or maybe adding my own imagery to my essay to make it more attention grabbing and interesting. Reading all of the different topics my peers have chosen as their essay topic has made me think that something that could really help my own writing strategy would be expanding my horizons, meeting new people, trying new things, and enlightening myself or meet someone else that can about subjects I’ve never had a chance to learn about. As far as I am concerned, I’m very inexperienced in the world it seems and more knowledge on different subjects could really help my writing process.
1 Vielmette One thing that I have taken from one of my friend's essays would have to be Ellis' outline. When I was starting to type I finished my intro paragraph then had a ton of ideas but couldn't think of how to organize it our even define half of them. Using an outline is helping me to know what to write about and I even found out I have a little more to write about than what I initially thought. Another essay that has helped is Jeanson's essays which all have a lot of attitude and it also has personality in it. The best description I can give for it is that it almost sounds like you are hearing a regular conversation just in a different form. I have great difficulties with writing and putting a voice to the essay or things I write and they come out sounding almost scientific which is one thing I need to steer away from. Although in this essay I will have to go into a scientific format in a way to explain some differences or similarities. Hopefully by using their essays to help me improve my writing and to put more feeling or more personality into my writing. One last essay that I looked at was Hick's essay which starts off with a great intro that describes a scenario that everyone at some point in their life has come across. This adds so much personality to the essay and even connects it with the reader because who hasn't had that happen to them? These essays are great examples that work together to take a great idea and put it into words for others to read and connect with the essay or the person writing the essay.
Some things that I have taken away from the essays that my peers are currently working on are things that can most definitely be used in my own essay. While glancing at A. Kueter’s essay, I could see that she is dedicated and already has most, if not all, of her essay finished at the point of needing the rough draft turned in. I also noticed that she wrote her essay in alternating format, which is the style I am currently taking with my own essay. However, in her essay, she juxtaposes both ideas in the same paragraph whereas I have written my essay in alternating formatting with each juxtaposed idea in its own paragraph. Also, I have glanced at Wheeler’s essay and have seen that she as well has done what I have done in regards to formatting the essay in an alternating formatting with separate paragraphs for each juxtaposed idea. She also has used a great style of writing that I have not yet infused into my essay which I will go do shortly. Her essay is already mostly finished where mine is not yet to three pages. I still have a lot to go, but there is plenty that I can learn from reading her essay more. Along with other essays that my peers have written so far. While looking at Braley’s essay, I see that she has not yet written anything down in paragraph form, but she has instead chosen to take the path of writing her outline first. The outline that she has created is very neat, organized and to the point, much like mine should have been as I was getting confused by my own outline. In Poole’s essay, she has a very lovely outline written out and already some paragraphs going. Her outline is not detailed but it is easy to follow and gives a clear direction of where she is going to be heading in her essay. In the little that she does have, it is clear that she is getting off to a good start to her essay but still has work to do, much like mine.
1 Top My peers play a significant role in the writer I am today. Looking at other styles of writing helps me to create my own. I realize in doing so how many other styles there are. The methods others word sentences and place their thoughts is something I have cultured and put to use in my essays. I have struggled with not always starting a sentence with them, they, you, and so on. Learning to rearrange sentences is something I am still improving at. I love that we are able to see what our peers are composing and hopefully learn from them. Reading essays that have an eye-catching introduction is really something I strive for because it pulls the readers in and makes them want to continue reading your great work. Vielmette set up an outline for his essay to keep him on track, which I did to some extent on the comparison essay and I could already see an improvement in my writing. Not only did it keep my essay more organized, but it kept me on track of what was to come next. I really like how Talcott uses a very interesting introduction; making me want to read the rest of the essay. I strive to be clear that I am passionate about my topic and hope the readers feel the same emotions I do throughout.
Galbavy 1 Looking at my peers essays has helped me out quite a bit. Right now my fluidity in my sentences aren’t the best even though some flow perfectly. I need to learn not to use the same words to repetitively in a sentence or paragraph because that can get annoying for a reader. I also want to work on adding more variety to my essays such as inverted sentences and deliberate fragments. Looking at other essays I noticed some interesting transitions into other paragraphs and I want to try and insert some of those ideas into my own. I also want to work on filling my five pages with sufficient information and not make my essay appear as if I were running out of ideas and typing just to fill the last few pages. I need to work on using my ideas to my full advantage and maybe for this essay make a venn diagram so that I can use the differences to carry on my essay into a deep analytical one. One of my favorite essays that I looked over was from fellow classmate and teammate Zachary Scholten(TD12). In my perspective his essay had great flow to it and it kept me reading because of how well written it was and the use of vocabulary and sentences fit perfectly. I loved his introduction paragraph because it sets up the whole essay very well and he isn’t repetitive at all with a good thesis. I really liked the idea he used, wish I would have thought of it. I also liked Wickersham’s essay because he used some good vocabulary in his essay and had great fluidity throughout the one page I read through. He also used great transitions from one paragraph to another. So looking at other essays was a great idea and should help me to better my own.
1Beck It is very helpful to be able to go through other classmates essays so that it helps to give you some ideas of how to improve your own essay. In my own essay I know that I struggled with getting my sentences to flow smoothly from one to the next. There are many things that I can adopt from my peers to help with my own essay. Somes of the things I can adopt are using bigger and better words than I originally use, figuring out new ways to start sentences, and by being able to have an essay that is not choppy. Having the opportunities to look through other peers essay really helped me to strive for something better than my original thoughts and ideas.
Harvison has an amazing introductory paragraph which gave me something to strive for. How she was able to think of such a strong introduction is beyond me. She was able to give her readers something to think about throughout her whole essay. Presler also had an incredible introductory paragraph. In her introduction she gave us something to think about from when we were all children. By having this as her introduction people will continue to think about the fun birthdays and christmases where we got money as a gift. She also has lots of good starts to her sentences. By reading her essay I could tell that she tried not to use the same start to a sentence many times right next to each other. In reading both Harvison’s and Presler’s essay I was able to see how they made their essay flow and not be choppy. Presler comes up with many different words to use to describe her fruits that she is talking about. Most people would not think to add such descriptive words to something that everyone should know, but Presler did and I believe that it could only help to make her essay better than it was.
1Konz Looking over other people essays, I really like how Randa Mikkelsen uses a simile of picking out clothes to picking out friends. It adds an interesting comparison while relating it to something that everyone (well, mostly girls) are extremely familiar with to increase the understanding of choosing friends that are your “style.” I would really like to incorporate some very original and unique similes into my writing. I also skimmed through Brooke Top’s essay. I really like that it has more specific examples explaining the activities of friends compared to brothers. I think these examples help make the essay seem more real and relatable for the reader instead of getting the impression of a distant essay that the writer doesn’t even relate to. I am going to try to add more personable and relatable details into my essay to make it more relatable and genuine to the reader. Another essay that I looked at was Dalton Vielmette’s juxtaposition and comparison of trees compared to logs. I really like the simplicity of the topic, it is not one that very many think about writing about, but the beginning is really impressive. Dalton chose very powerful words that makes you feel like you are really there looking at the trees and logs. Powerful word choice is something I really want to add to my essay as well. I also am very impressed by his description of the forests. Originally I thought it would be diffictult to write a five page essay just about trees and logs but he explains everything with such great detail and purpose that I do not think he will have a problem reaching the page restriction. That is one concern of mine while I started writing my essay that I will not be able to reach the five page minimum, but I now hope to use a strategie like Dalton’s to add in depth descriptions to the essay to add length while adding interest for the reader.
Collaboration is key to writing a good essay. Whether you are looking at other essays for inspiration or peer editing, interaction with others is vital. In taking a look at a few of the other essays in my class I have found several points I like. I appreciate the humor is Headrick’s essay. I always try to throw a little humor into my essay if I can (mostly for my own amusement). Headrick is comparing people to pencils and in reference to wooden pencils says, “They are cheap but sometimes really nice ones have sayings like ‘Math is Cool’ or ‘Do Not Do Drugs!’” Another thing he did well is his use of vocab words. I found it a bit challenging to work the vocab words into my essay in a natural sounding way and Headrick did a good job of this.
Another essay I took a look at is Willard’s. Willard classified types of students in school. His essay immediately pulls you in because the topic relatable. As I read I found myself thinking about each classification and relating them to people I know and even myself. He found a topic that would be relevant to a vast majority of his readers. Most of the points still apply outside of a school setting as well. While the essay has humorous elements it also touches on more serious topics of why we act the way we do. As he wrote in reference to the Clown (who is the one always making people laugh), “The whole idea of making people laugh for attention is just a coping mechanism created to mask what emotional issues he or she has developed do to past problems.”. I admire that Willard had a well rounded essay that was both lighthearted and serious. I hope to find a place for some good old analysis of human behavior in one of my essays.
1Headrick The strategies that I could adopt from my peers could be not procrastinating. Instead of waiting till Friday to do most of my pages, I could do a little each day and only proofread the last day or make any minor changes. I saw that some people were done with all their pages like the Monday before and not at 11:59 on Friday. I also understand that writing essays is a tougher for me since I do not enjoy writing essays. Maybe if I had a positive attitude and tricked myself into thinking I love writing, this could be a more enjoyable assignment. I could also adapt the the “big vocabulary strategy”. If you use this strategy correctly, it will enthrall the readers and make them want to read it instead of them muddling through reading my essay. The classification essay that really shouted out to me was that of Mr. Loosbrock. His essay really enthralled me and I did not lose interest reading through his whole essay. His whole essay was very fluent and coherent. The sentence structure was grand, I felt like a was reading an essay that was written with a PH.D.. The other compare and contrast essay I was reading through was written by Mr. House. His is about the unknown future and not knowing what to write about in an essay. I find this hilarious and so true. It goes on to say all the questions that people ask high schoolers about their future life. Since most kids do not know what they are going to do, these kinds of questions really stress out the lives of these high schoolers. It also goes through all the many topics you can write about during an essay and how hard it is to choose one. You have to be able to think about how to write 5 pages about that topic. Anybody can write a one page essay about something, but it takes something special to write 5 or more pages.
1 Talcott Though I thought my Classification essay went well there is always room for improvement. Techniques that I must get better at to become a better rounded writer. Also there are many techniques and strategies from my fellow compositionists in the class that I must employ. There were many times over the course of writing my Classification essay where my sentences and sometimes even paragraphs became murky and muddled. The thoughts were clear in my head I just was not able to effectively convey them on paper. Usually this was due to inaccuracy of punctuation, run on sentences, and plain sentence order. I feel like my use of commas, colons, and semicolons was inaccurate and it showed in the awkward flow of some sentences. I also had many run on sentences partly, I am sure, to my lack of punctuation accuracy, but more so to my lack of conciseness. My sentence order felt very awkward at times. So awkward in fact that I had to read over my previous few sentences multiple times in the essay just to affirm what I was talking about. As previously stated there are lots of things I need to learn in order to become the best writer I can be. One of the best ways I can do that is to follow my many peers’ positive example. For improvement in the Classification essay I looked to Mr. Meyer’s composition for improvement. Mr. Meyer’s conciseness is something I especially admired in his paper and is most certainly something I can and must improve on. He was most definitely complex in his wordage and sentence structure, but when necessary he was very concise. His concise sentences were very effective and made his essay flow. I feel as if my essay would flow much better if I were to take up on this strategy of conciseness at appropriate points.
While reading other students’ essays I have found many strategies and aspects from theirs that I would like to incorporate into mine now. I love the sentence variety that I have seen in other essays; I think I have had good sentence variety, but after seeing other essays I think I need to work on having a better flow from sentence to sentence because I think mine can get choppy at times. Another part that I hope to incorporate into my essay is good voice. When reading other essays I sometimes find myself reading them in the voice of the student who wrote it which I think is really cool. I hope that when others read my essay essay that it seems like I wrote it and has a good enough personality to make it my own. The final element that I hope to include in this essay more than the last is overall good structure. I really want my essay to overall all make sense together and have better organization. Looking at other students’ essays has really helped me see what I can incorporate into mine.
An essay that I think was written well was Runia’s. I really like her introductory paragraph because not only was it compelling but also it seemed well planned out and had great sentence variety. Another great strength in Runia’s essay is that she starts every paragraph with a catching sentence that almost seemed like advice or a standard of driving which I thought made it interesting. Her essay overall was unique while also entertaining and it was one that hopefully can give inspiration for my essays. Another essay that I think is going to be very good although it is still in the beginning stages in Konz’s. Konz’s essay is comparing and contrasting weeds and flowers and I think this is going to be an interesting essay because we do not always think about comparing weeds and flowers. I like her introductory paragraph because it is descriptive and also gives you a good idea of what the rest of the essay is going to be about. Her first paragraph seems to include the concept of show not tell. Her essay has good variety and a great structure which I hope I can incorporate into my essay. It is great to get help for your essays from other students but sometimes the best help is seeing other examples because it lets you know what a good essay should look like while also giving you ideas for your own.
3 Braley There is a lot that one can learn by reading through the essays of our peers. For example, I got my idea to plan out paragraphs in a bit more detail than I usually do thanks to Coyle. Before she even started writing she knew exactly what all her talking points were and how to set up the paragraphs to maximize the fluidity of the essay. So far this has been very helpful to me as I feel more confident in how my essay is laid out leading me to be happier with it overall. When I look at Poole's essay I love the artistic way she styled her sentences. She changed up the format of the introductory paragraph in order to make it less copy and paste and more her own unique ideas. If she continues this her essay will always keep her voice as the main focus as she is not afraid to break the mold of her essays. I love Hicks's use of humor in her into, I feel it really draws the reader in and I honestly want to read the rest of her essay to see if she keeps it going for the entire essays, which she really should as it would enhance the experience of the reader. One thing I know I need to work on personally is keeping on track with my writing, I have a tendency to put things off which is detrimental to my grade. What I should do is take a note from Kueter A, she already has eight pages written all done in a very polished style. She even has gone the extra mile and has four MLA citations for the extra credit and practice. I know if I do any one of these things my writing will improve dramatically which will in turn help keep my grade up and where I want it to be.
One of the many great strategies that my peers have adopted, is that of the outline. A Mr. Smit and a Ms. Poole each have done this and it seems like a very beneficial tool, so I too will use it. The outline is a useful tool in many ways, like finding a place to start for instance. I was stuck on where to even begin with my first paragraph, but after I organized my ideas in an outline I just added a few words to turn those ideas into complete sentences and complete thoughts and voila, a paragraph is formed! This is also extremely effective for adding ideas to paragraphs that have already been started, as it gives a clear organization of my thoughts within the paragraph making it easier to interject more ideas while keeping the essay consistent and chronological. A certain Ms. Wheeler employed a strategy not unlike writing found in author Cormac McCarthy’s novels. She used a deliberate run-on sentence to help emphasize how many things a writers must put together in order to construct a story. I admire Cormac McCarthy’s work so I hope I can find a good place to put this into my essay and have it flow as naturally as Ms. Wheeler wrote it. Mr. Hoffman used formating changes to provide emphasis to certain words and phrases. This gives his sentences more character and makes it more fun and easier to read. I have used this strategy before in my classification essay and it seemed to work well, so I hope to have more opportunities in this essay, though it may be difficult as this is a more formal essay than the classification essay. Ms. Meyers included a quote in her essay, in fact in her intro. I plan on using this strategy to kingdom come as my characters I’m comparing are just that, characters from a story! I will use quotes about, and from these characters’ book(s) to compare and contrast the various aspects of these very characters.
People utilize many different composition strategies when composing their essays, and I hope to adopt some of those composition strategies used by my peers. I feel as though I have taken a lot out of looking through some of my other classmates’ essays, and already find myself wanting to utilize some of their strategies. Some specific strategies that I have noticed are, colorful vocabulary, vivid imagery, flow from sentence to sentence, well thought-out comparison points, and good organization. I have struggled so far to come up with specific features of juxtaposition for my topic and I hope to begin organizing my thoughts better so I can truly begin to construct my essay. Vivid imagery is also something that most of my essays lack, so hopefully I have learned a few things from my peers and can implement that into my essay. Lastly, sentence flow is very important, and I need to work on creating more fluid transitions in my essay.
I believe that Schroder has an excellent start to her essay. In comparing and contrasting New York to South Dakota, she has created very vivid imagery by using bright and descriptive vocabulary. Her intro paragraph seems to pull me in and makes me want to read more. This is something I do not believe my essay has yet. Also, instead of just describing the differences, she uses specific examples from her experience in both states to create a fuller understanding of the comparison. Her sentence structure and flow is also very well done, the transition from sentence to sentence seems effortless and it makes the essay feel like more of a story. Overall, I hope to adopt some of these some of these strategies used by my peers in order to make my essay as intriguing as possible, and create something that people will genuinely enjoy reading.
3Bachman Some composition strategies that I have learned from my classmates would be better sentence structure, diversifying my sentences and using punctuation better. I have learned to create sentences easily using all of the parts needed to create a proper sentence. To diversify my essay I have learned from other classmates to change things around in my sentences to help make my essay sound different. Starting a sentence with a participial phrases and out of place single modifiers have helped diversify my essay. Using grammatical strategies like interrupting modifiers and deliberate fragments can also add flair to one's essay. This year, I have learned to better use punctuation in my essays. I now know when it is appropriate to use semicolons and colons, as well as when to better use commas and apostrophes. I have only been in this class a short while but have already learned a lot about writing and grammar.
I have read Hoffman’s essays and they have shown me what good sentence structure is while still diversifying each and every sentence. He uses good vocabulary and often changes out words for better sounding synonyms. Hoffman has also used good transitions between his paragraphs in his essays. Using good transitions is key to having a fresh sounding essay and not making it seem monotonous to read. I also read Houses essay, he also used good transitions and had a good variety of sentence structure. He uses correct punctuation and grammar to show his readers that he is educated and has a good opinion on his topic. He had a good amount of information about his topic and displayed it well to his readers. House also has good points for both comparing and contrasting his topic in his essay. I will definitely try to emulate some of the ways House has made his points in his essay.
3 Roby While browsing through my classmate’s essays I was inspired by Jeanson’s first paragraph. I like the way she told a story with vivid detail to put an image in my mind. She explains a morning before school with the cold wind blowing past you as you see a friend of yours. She then goes on to explain the difference between having friends that are boys versus friends that are girls. Writing a detailed picture of a scenario is something that I think I could add to my essay to improve it. Details create a feeling and a mental picture in your mind, which I think my essay lacks. Her idea of “gal-pals vs guy-friends” is an interesting topic as well, and I look forward to reading the finished product. At the start of the week, when most of the class started to compose their own essays, I was at a loss for ideas. I feel that I struggle to think of ideas that I can elaborate on to create a long five page essay that also is interesting. Only just starting my essay on Wednesday, I feel that this essay will definitely be better than my last. My last essay was a struggle for me to write, I did not have many ideas to start and I felt that it was a little repetitive, but this compare and contrast essay I have been flying through. I wish to improve each of my essays so they are better than the last. My peers have amazing ideas and I believe that I can learn a lot from all of the great writers in my class. Sometimes I think my essays become boring and it seems that I am just adding useless sentences to add length, but I hope that I can compose an interesting, five page essay with the help of my classmates.
One of the most valuable phenomenons we possess as humans is time. Each day we are given 86,400 seconds in which we can do whatever we want, but after those seconds tick by, you can never regain them again, and here is where my dilemma arrives. I’m a procrastinator. I always have been, but hopefully I won’t always be that way, and that’s a strategy that I could adopt from my peers. Due to my unhealthy procrastination habits, I frequently find myself sacrificing hours of sleep in order to get the work I need done finished so that it arrives on its due date fully complete and well written, but there arises another problem. When I don’t do tasks until the very last minute, it puts more pressure on my writing, and my work won’t be written as well as it could’ve been had I done it earlier and given myself more time to evaluate and improve my work. If I were to do my essays bit by bit instead of cramming it all into one session, I would be able to polish my work as I go on. One reason I may procrastinate so much is because I do not look forward to writing essays. Writing has never been a strong suit of mine, but maybe if I were to have a better outlook on writing, it would diminish my procrastination. Another composition strength I found in a few essays was the ability to flow from paragraph to paragraph. I found this to be evident in the classification essay of Mr. Quanbeck. For example, at the end of one of his paragraphs he left off by saying, “The stress level overall is quite low and everyone is having a good time.” He then goes on to the next paragraph, and he starts it off by saying, “Good times are transient in nature, and moving further along the production timeline we begin to see the Strained.” Mr. Quanbeck is able to seamlessly merge two paragraphs together, and that is something from which I could learn.
3Woessner I feel that I can learn many new composition strategies and techniques from my peers. Reading others’ essays allows me to develop more ideas and tactics to improve my composition. Some strategies I could adopt involve how to better my thesis statement, improve transition words to make the sentences and paragraphs flow seamlessly, and how to better use punctuation to add emphasis and thought through items like the semicolon and dashes. I found that using a substantial amount of adjectives and adverbs is a good way to increase the enjoyment aspect of your essay while also increasing the length. Another technique I could improve on is consistently writing with detail and enthusiasm about my topic. A way I could improve this is by writing my essays over time instead of just in a few days. This also causes stress and anxiety, so procrastination is something everyone should try to stay away from.
After reading Bachman’s essay I learned how to better my introduction by using a plethora of different adjectives and adverbs to intrigue the reader to indulge in the analyzation of that specific topic. In order to keep the reader interested and entertained throughout the essay, one must have some sort of humor or relatable content. House does a spectacular job in this aspect. The humor and relatability throughout House’s introductory paragraph compels me to read through the rest of his essay. This is a very effective strategy, and I could benefit greatly by transferring this technique into my composition. Waldera does a great job at smoothly transitioning through paragraphs. He does this by using correct transition words and connecting his next topic back to the previous in a way that makes the transition seem non-existent. Waldera also transitions well through his individual sentences by elaborating on a specific thought and not moving to the next without completely finishing said thought.
In order to skillfully learn new writing strategies from my peers, I read through some of their wonderfully crafted essays. In doing so, I discovered that a major fault of my writing style is that I begin too many sentences with the banal words “they” and “the.” This makes my essays sound boring and choppy. In order to fix this, I will try to stop using these words as sentence starters altogether. Another shortcoming I repeatedly noticed in writing my comparison and contrasting essay is that I often have points on which I do not elaborate. This makes me start spewing out points with no supporting details, which makes it sound about as intriguing as reading a shopping list. This also required me to come up with more ideas as I struggled to fill the length requirement. Another thing that I could do to meet the length requirement in a skillful and intentional way would be to add more descriptive words, which will serve the dual purpose of spicing up my essay and making it easier to read.
A good tactic I picked up to further advance my writing dexterity is to use more examples through either hypothetical situations or things that have actually occurred. Anders Barton is a person who I noticed did this with particular clout in his well written classification essay pertaining to fantasy football. His thrilling essay included extremely thoughtful examples of what may happen when navigating through an unpredictable fantasy football season. One of his best examples was when he used a metaphor comparing the season to a king going into battle. He said that the players on your fantasy team are your army charging into battle against your opponents team. He compares the hours of research that comes with a successful team to months of training to be battle ready. I think that inserting this into his essay was brilliant.
3Wheeler One organization skill I can adopt from my peers is transitions. I am rather bad at transitioning from one paragraph to the next, and I need help with that. I also have a tendency to repeat myself in my essays, because I never know when to quit typing and move on. I end up saying the same thing three different times in my effort to end a paragraph, which is not an ideal way to write an essay. I apparently like to be redundant, and am probably doing that right now as well. I also have a hard time varying the starts to my sentences. I often use “this is because…” or “they are…” in my writing, which I know I should be trying to avoid. However, I do like my own way of setting up my comparisons, so while I will look at other methods, I probably won’t make any major changes to the overall layout. I find that making major changes to my writing is usually counter productive.
Hoffmann has a nice way of transitioning from paragraph to paragraph, and I might try to use the same sort of strategy. The paragraphs flow into another nicely, and are much less choppy than mine. Reindl has a lot of nice sentence variation, which is another thing I’ll attempt to incorporate in my essay. There were a lot of really well-written essays that I saw while looking, and I find it very helpful to be able to look through them. Not only because I can help myself, but because sometimes when I’m stuck writing something, I’ll try to find similar things to read until my brain kicks back into gear, which can take a while. Overall, I think a lot of people write really nicely, and I hope I can get my writing on the same level.
6Holter When comparing my classification essay to my peers essay, I noticed that there is always room for improvement. I originally thought my essay was great, but as I read others essays, my essay is only average. I could use improvement in various thing, but the major things I noticed I could improve on are: sentence structure, creative word choice, and using different types of transitions between sentences and paragraphs. From reading other students essay, I hope to learn and understand more about different types of sentences. While writing my classification essay, I struggled with writing and labeling the final ten exam terms, but as I was reading other students essays I started to understand them more. When we label the sentences and put what type of sentence they are in the comments, it is tremendously helpful to other classmates. I think reading other peers essay’s will better my writing, because it will help realize my mistakes in my writing and make myself a better writer for the future.
As I was reading through other students essays, there were two that stood out to me. One of the essays I read, Livingston E., classified different types of band members. Throughout her entire essay she kept the reader hooked and intrigued. The way she worded things throughout her essay made reading it more enjoyable and entertaining. In addition to having excellent word choice and creative writing style, she chose a topic that not a lot of people know about. Even though I am not in band, she went into depth about band and the types of people in band, and it gave me a clearer idea of what band really is. Another impressive essay I read was Riley’s essay in period seven. Riley wrote and classified the types of drivers there are in todays world. Her essay was very entertaining and interesting. Throughout her essay, she used a wide variety of transitions, which made her essay have fluidity to it. I think after reading other peers essay I will be able to use better sentence structure, creative word choice, and use better transitions throughout my essay.
6 Waltner There are many strategies I could adopt from my peers, as they are extremely smart intellectual people who compose their essays on a daily basis. One thing that I struggle with, and could learn from my peers, is the transitioning from paragraph to paragraph. When composing my essay I seem to find trouble when advancing to my next paragraph. It is difficult for me to smoothly transition to the next without abruptly changing the subject. I understand the purpose of a new paragraph is because it is a new idea, but I would like to have smooth transitions to make my writing easier to read. Reading through Grode’s essay I found his transitions to be very swift and intriguing, all leading you into the paragraph nicely. Another strategy I could adopt from my peers is varying the way I start my sentences. This is very important as it really shows you what you are doing when composing. Woodward did a very nice job with this concept of differing her sentence structure as every sentence was unique. You could tell she took the time to style her sentences, and switching up the way she began each one, making her writing sound much smoother and easier to read. Van Kalsbeek taught me the use of vocabulary words help create an overall better essay. Not only did she have the words that were required from our vocabulary book, but she had some from past vocabulary books from previous years. She incorporated intricate words that she has built up from her high school career, which is very impressive. Not only is she trying to reach a requirement, but using other intelligent words to make her write at a much higher level. In the end, reading through my classmates essays there are many strategies I can learn from them to enhance my writing ability.
The composition strategies I can adopt from my peers are using a variety of words, using better sentence structure, making sentences sound more formal, and adding more emotion into the essay. I struggle with using different words for words, such as they and the, that get repeated multiple times in my essay. I also need to use better sentence structure. I tend to use many dependent clauses and compound sentences, so to improve my writing I need to use more compound-complex and complex sentences. I also need to organize my sentences so they sound more formal. Finally, I need to put more emotion into my writing. My classification essay lacked emotion that I wish I would have added. I could have added more emotion to how I felt about each manager so that the reader could also find the emotions that they have towards the manager. So in my comparison essay, I will try to add emotion so the reader feels the excitement and the fear for the freshman and excitement and sadness for the seniors. I can learn how to improve all of these struggles by reading and analyzing my classmates essays and comparing them to mine.
I felt that a Hokenstad had a well written classification essay. Her essay was formal and something I can learn from. She did a good job with having me feel her emotion and attitude towards the different types of people and also her comparison to how they are like different beverages was well done. She also was a good example of using the different sentence structures throughout the essay than trying to fit it in and change sentences to get them in at the end. Runia did a great job adding humor to her essay. I thought many parts of her essay were very comical and relatable to what I think drivers are like. She also does a good job with sentence structure and making her essay sound formal, yet comical at the same time. She also used different words than the normal words you always hear and is something I need to learn from. These two essay are just some of the essay I found to be good examples for me to learn from for my future essays.
While my essays contain some strengths, I also know that they contain many weaknesses. I wish to fortify those shortcomings, and one way to do so is through my peers. By reading through their essays, I am able to glean their strong composition strategies and adopt them to improve my own writing. One weakness I have identified in my essays is a lack of creativity, humor, and sarcasm. My writing does not contain original analogies. Neither is it comedic nor mordant. I find that my writing is formal and somewhat bland. I hope to improve on this throughout the course of this class. I believe that viewing the writing of Hicks can assist me in this endeavor. Hicks’s essays abound in creativity. In her essays, she integrates humor and sarcasm superbly. One of my favorite examples of this can be found in the introduction of her Comparison-Contrast essay. She creates an elaborate run-on to emphasize her point about the similarities between teenagers and toddlers. The run-on itself demonstrates creativity and uniqueness on her part, but the wording and the meaning of the run-on exemplify these qualities even more so. Wheeler’s Comparison-Contrast essay also contains profound creativity. I admire her topic overall because of its ingenuity. In addition, Wheeler displays great innovation in the unusual view she takes on her topic and in the way she explains her view. Wheeler’s essay does not incorporate as much humor or sarcasm as Hicks’s does, but Wheeler makes up for it in creativity. Thus, I hope to adopt some of Hicks’s and Wheeler’s creativity, humor, and sarcasm, and I hope to incorporate these features into my own essays.
Additionally, I feel I have some weakness in my sentence variety and my word choice. Shoring up these weaknesses will diminish the number of rough and disjointed areas in my essays. Most of all, I think I need to work on avoiding boring expletives. I use the expletive “it is” often, so I need to reduce the number of times I use it or eschew it completely. Also, I tend to reuse the same words over and over again because I lack diversity and ingenuity in my word selection. Sherron provides a great example for me to follow in order to remedy this. In her Comparison-Contrast essay, she uses extremely sophisticated wording. Her varying sentence structure also gives her essay an incomparable flow. As a result, her work is pleasing to read. Hokenstad illustrates impressive flow in her Comparison-Contrast essay, as well. She effectively avoids repetitive wording. Intriguing and idiosyncratic words are abundant in her essay. One of the most striking examples of this is her use of medical terms within her introduction. Therefore, I wish to adopt some of Sherron’s and Hokenstad’s captivating sentence variety and unique word choice into my own essay. Incorporating all of these different composition strategies, which my peers employ so well, will shore up weaknesses in my essays.
Many things that my peers are doing that I can learn from is writing a clear cohesive essay. This would include their paragraph transitions, thesis reflections, word choice, and conclusion. While reading the essays of my peers many things that I do not do well stand out in their writing and it is a great way to learn what I can do to improve on the skills that I lack. There are also cases where I can see what a peer has done and try to mimic that in my writing to gain and use a new writing skill. All the contrast in others writings can come together to form one large cohesive essay with multiple textures in form.
Corcoran is one of my favorite writers within the school to read not only because of his large vocabulary and interesting perspectives but also because of his unique writing style. He reminds me so much of the authors who have just recently gone but which works remain entirely pertinent, whose styles which also I have tried so religiously to acquire. While reading Corcoran's essays I do aspire to use the certain tangs and flairs that he so effortlessly introduces. After editing one of his essays I had even commented that the way he had written his opening paragraph reminded me so much of F. Scott Fitzgerald's final two paragraphs in the Great Gatsby an eloquent flow between words and ideas that stuck to you while you proceeded to read the essay. This type of writing allows a reader to keep in mind all that he has read while pursuing through the rest of the writing, not because it's easier to understand but because it is a pleasure to reiterate and consume. Comparable to biting into a rich moist hot chocolate cake coated in darch chocolate mousse frosting only to dream and crave to take that bite again but be reminded of it while you continue to eat the rest of the cake.
6 Baldridge There are many things to learn by reading the essay of my peers. A big thing that I noticed while reading them is that I should use more sophisticated words. I saw a lot of words that I did not already know and that I had to look up to see what it meant. I would like to have those types of words in my essay and have other be able to learn the same way I did in that aspect. It is also very important to start my sentences with a variety of words rather than just using “This”, “They”, or “The” every single time. I did my best to do this with my last essay, but I would like to be even better for this one. I would also like to improve in the flowing of my sentences. A lot of these essays had very solid transitions between paragraphs and sentences. The use of the of the final exam terms is another thing that stood out because I do not have a lot of those in my writing, but I need to have some.
While all the essay helped a lot, I think that one that helped the most is Tingle’s. Her word structure was absolutely stellar. She used a very good vocabulary in her writing without looking like she was trying to hard. Tingle also had facts that prove that she knows what she is talking about. Campbell was another very good essay to read. The title of her essay was clever, yet clear. You can tell that she is passionate about what she is writing about. I also really enjoyed the way she concluded her paragraphs. This leads to a good transition into the next paragraph so it is easy to stay on track and not lose yourself. I hope to use all of these helpful tips into my writing and be as successful as they are in my essay.
My composition skills are sufficient at best, observing the work of others will help me to improve my essays and extend my realm of compositional knowledge. Johnke does an amazing job of starting off an essay and commanding a reader's attention. In his comparison-contrast essay, he starts of by stating the importance of poultry and how they are a “quintessential part of life”. He manages to emphasize the role of poultry and makes them seem much more important than they truly are. His word choice is also splendid as he uses words like “hubbub” and “iridescent”. Johnke does a phenomenal job at adjectival word choice. Sherron splendidly writes metaphors; at one point, she wrote that the news would “spread like California wildfire”. This makes a brilliant connection to a real life event that many people hear about on the news. Hanson uses complex word choice that can be very technical in nature. His word choice shows an understanding of the topic and our language as a whole. He uses words like “saturated”, “diametric”, and “connotation”. It is clear that he writes on a topic that he is very passionate about and has a deep understanding of. Quanbeck uses a humour that is personalized to him. In his opening paragraph, he uses short, abrupt sentences to convey sarcasm and a sense of wonder at the world. Quanbeck picked a very interesting topic for his comparison-contrast essay by choosing to juxtapose incarceration to not being able to use your phone. House does a fantastic job of stylizing his essay to be less formal while still connecting incredibly well. His inception-esque approach to the comparison-contrast essay is unique and highly entertaining. His short sentences and conversation-esque style is a welcome change and captures the attention of a reader. Overviewing the work of others enabled me to add to my style and make my writing more versatile by utilizing varying techniques.
By reading the papers of my peers I have learned that transition words are a must. by using transition words my essay is very lively and really flows with the reader. they really help my essay role of the tongue and makes it easier for the reader to follow along with what Im trying to convey to them. Some other pieces of essays I've picked up is the use of sophisticated words. words that you wouldn't use in every day conversations but are defiantly a necessity in my writing. I try and use bigger words to describe aspects of my essay but not to big that the reader would need to have a dictionary nearby to look up every other word that I have. I want to improve on my writers block which i mainly think is from lack of focus. i need to hone in on my writing ability so that i can complete my essay.
One of the better essays I've read through is Elses'. his essays always keep me engaged and entertained while i read them. His essays are my go to when i need inspiration or just simply dont know how to word something creatively. Elses' essay has good vocabulary and great sentence structure, his titles are clever and immediately grab my attention. He really transitions well into his next topics and for the most part the flow of the essay is very easy to keep up with. I hope that my essay will be like this by using all the tips and ideas presented to me through all the works I've read through.
6 Lindemann As I stated in my classification essay, one can learn a lot about themselves by analyzing the writing of others. I think that observing the different ways that people compose, and then comparing it to their personality, can help add flair and originality to writing that may otherwise be dry and trite. Reading the essays of my classmates helped me identify if i was overusing words in my own writing, or if i was improperly using a grammatical device. It also helped me critique my writing because i looked at essays of people whose writing I admire (mainly Wheeler, Huska, and Hicks) and figure out how to make my own writing similar in quality. Wheeler’s ability to produce endless content about a topic is incredibly impressive and mildly terrifying. Huska has a unique talent for ranting in a professional manner without rambling, especially when she is passionate about a subject. Hicks includes humor and simplicity to make her writing relatable and easy to read. All of these writers are gifted with excellent compositional skills, and they all provide interesting readings that flow well and make sense. Wheeler has taught me a lot in a very short amount of time about how to use grammar well and how to find different sentence structures in my own writing that help stories flow more easily from one to another. Wheeler also provides an excellent model for the phrase “going above and beyond”; their writing is never anything short of astounding in both length and content. I hope that doing a photo essay will allow me to tell a story in a way that requires fewer gerunds and participles, however. Reading and rereading and helping to comment on other essays is a great learning tool. Hopefully over the course of the year, we will all become better writers because of our experience critiquing and writing essays.
All of my peers are excellent writers and I truly admire their writing skills and habits. My biggest fault in my writing is knowing what to say but not being able to put those thoughts into words and have it make sense. I desire the ability to know just what to write and not have to think about the wording before I begin. Another thing I struggle with is using contractions and double spacing. I know they are simply formatting issues, but if I did them correctly to begin with I wouldn’t have to go back and change them every time. I am now more aware of the fact that I consistently do that and I am beginning to catch myself when I try to make something a contraction or I use a double space.
I think Hokenstad does an excellent job of showcasing the ability of putting her thoughts into words effortlessly. Her words show great intellect and make sense. Sometimes it's hard to incorporate bigger, more interesting words because some people don't know how to use them correctly. Hokenstad doesn't seem to have that problem and it really shows how great of a writer she is. Also, I really enjoy reading Johnke’s essays because he does a fantastic job of using adjectives that add so much more to the essay. The details he adds allows people to see what he is talking about, and see it vividly. His essays are also very unique and you can tell that the topics are important to him. I think it is very interesting to see the different topics people choose because it shows you what their interests are and what they are passionate about. The topics also show a bit of their personality and make the essays more personal. For me, this is what makes the essays fun and interesting to read.
Just like personality, writing is unique to each person; however, different skills in writing can be used by all. After reading through many different classmates classification writing I can come to the conclusion that there are multiple things that I can improve upon. Writing skills that I would like to improve upon include using more descriptive and intelligent words, being more creative, creating a better variety of sentence beginnings, and thinking of more analogies to include in my writing. With knowledge of these writing skills I would like to improve upon I can go into the next essay of comparing and contrasting with them in mind.
I am sadly having a tough time deciding what I would like to write my compare and contrast essay on. I have a multitude of ideas, but none seem to be the perfect one. Looking through other classmates ideas and beginnings I can see a variety of different, unique, and intriguing topics. Meyer is doing one of the ideas that I was also thinking of doing. I however do not think I would have come up with a title as creative as his. Meyer has used very good and descriptive words in his introduction paragraph. Assuming that where he has stopped typing is the end of his introductory paragraph I think that his last sentence is great and makes me await to see what he will provide next. The intro paragraph was written in a great way to capture my--the readers--attention. I also think that Headrick has presented some good writing skills. His opening sentence is very true to him and shows his character. It is humorous and also grabs my attention. Sjogren had a unique way of introducing the topics at which she will compare and contrast her jeans and sweatpants by making mention to a three point scale of ranking. It is creative and well done. I also think that she so far has done a good job at starting her sentences off in many different ways.
7 Livingston E When I read through the essays from some of the other classes, I noticed several things that I can do to improve my writing. Some of the composition strategies that I can adopt from my peers are: not starting a sentence with the subject all the time, using different words to start sentences other than “they” and “the” and making sure that the paragraphs and the whole essay flow well. I think that looking through some other essays really helps give you ideas on how to be more creative and fluent with your writing. I struggle with starting my sentences with anything other than simple subjects like them, they, he, she, etc. When I looked at other people’s essays, I noticed that a lot of them made sure that all of their sentences started with something creative. I also struggle with coming up with topic ideas for essays because I look too deep into it, and looking at some of my classmates’ essays showed me that a 5 page essay can be written on something simple.
One of the essays that stood out to me was Bowman’s. I liked how he started his essay with the definition of the thing that he was writing about, and it made me very interested to read the rest of his essay. He also did an excellent job of starting his sentences with prepositional phrases, which made the essay more interesting. He also did a good job on adding descriptive words that allow the reader to imagine what he is writing about. Bowman started his first paragraph by describing what that paragraph will be about, and I think that is a good writing technique that I should learn to make my essays easier to read. By looking at just the very beginnings of one person’s essay, I can tell that there are many things that I can improve on.
After reading a few essays from my classmates I have surmised that there are several things which many of them do better than I do. I struggle to have a lot of variety in my word choices and so many of my sentences and paragraphs may sound slightly repetitive, perhaps not in what is said but in how it is said. I also have a hard time starting paragraphs. In my comparison-contrast essay I have an idea, and a few differences that I would like to write about, but I am struggling to start my introductory paragraph. I have looked at a couple essays that others have written to try and get ideas, but the ways that they have started theirs do not seem right for my paper, or I can not figure out a way to adapt it to my idea. Something I do that I believe may break the paper up and make it flow a little less well is I wait till I have finished the paper to add things like vocab words and final exam terms. I think this probably makes it seem like some sentences are randomly thrown in and are out of place.
Looking at Jensen’s essay has helped me because I can see how she has already worked out how to add in vocab and final exam terms naturally, she has already planned out how to add them in and thus the essay flows well. I’ve read both of her essays and though neither was about a topic I was particularly interested in, they were both easy to read instead of being a chore to get through like I had expected. I think that is a testament to how well she chose her words and was able to make it interesting for anyone.
Writing, like many other things, requires observation for improvement. “Watch and learn” is a saying that is more true than one might think. If you want to get better at something watch what people (especially the ones who you strive to be like) do to be successful. Some examples of things in writing I know I can approve on is not using the same sentence structure over and over as this can get boring and repetitive. Another thing I catch myself doing is overusing the same word in my essay when I could use synonyms to help it look and sound better. After reading my classmates work I think I will get some good ideas on how to avoid these things.
My classmates are very talented and well versed an example of this is in Meyer’s composition of comparing and contrasting, Grass Stains or Dirt Scrapes: Juxtaposing Outfielders from Infielders, He really did a good job of adding detail that makes the reader stay attentive. My favorite example of this is when he said,”...these hittable spheres known as baseballs” instead of just saying baseball. In my opinion it also makes him sound more intelligent. Meyer also does a good job of referencing other things that are not directly about his main topic but add to the understanding of it. In the same read as the “hittable spheres” he mentioned how in basketball, your position might be mainly based on height when in baseball that is not the case at all. The main point in the article is comparing how infielders and outfielders are different, but he tied basketball in. Doing this so people who are a fans of basketball and understand the game will know positioning in baseball is nothing like it is in basketball. Meyer also put it strategically in the beginning of the second paragraph so basketball fans get that idea out of their head. Meyer is a very talented writer and one may strive to be like him. To do this they need to read and understand why Meyer does what he does and the purpose behind it.
7Dybdahl There are many strategies that I can adopt from my peers. I sometimes struggle with things while composing. To help myself come up with ideas to write about, I glance at my peers essays. I have strengths and weaknesses in my essays, and I can learn a lot from my peers. A specific strategy that I have learn from my peers is how they start their introduction paragraph. I think that is a very important sentence in an essay because it is what the reader is first reading. I believe that it makes them want to either continue to fully read your essay, or just glance over. Another strategy that helps me is by looking at my peers sentence structure. An essay is more fluent when it is not continuously starting with “the” or “they”. Adding humor and personality into an essay is very important. That is something that I try to adopt to make my essay more enjoyable. I have tried to include as much exciting vocabulary into my essay as possible. I try to use unique words that will create vivid details in my essay. Many of my peers have excellent vocabulary in their essays. For example, Runia uses so much detail in her essays that it makes me feel like I am a part of what she is writing about. She is very descriptive and it gives me chills, in a good way. She uses variety when writing her sentences and that makes her essay even more enjoyable. While going through my peers classification essays, KueterM’s stuck out to me. She did a great job at not adding in unneeded sentences to her essay and used good transitions when starting a new paragraph. This made her essay flow very well and easy to read. All of my peers have strengths when writing their essays and looking through their them has helped me in many ways.
The very strong, analytical tone in Ms. Jensen's essay makes me feel much more involved in the work, almost demanding my attention with its strong tone. Also, the initial examples in the opening paragraph of the essay was a very intriguing and interesting way to begin in my opinion, very captivating (like the rest of the essay) and thought provoking. The use of direct quotes in her essay gives much more sway to what she’s talking about, providing a powerful persuasive undertone to what is expected to be a simple comparison-contrast piece. In Ms. Huska’s work, the final sentence she has presented (at the time of this posting) about how she analyzes and explains J.K. Rowling’s quote I thought was an admirable technique, and one I plan to apply into my own essay, should I begin at some point in the near future. And altough I won’t be directly adopting the strategy, I did appreciate the way she compared direct characters. I found this a very original route to follow, or at the least one I wouldn’t have thought of for myself. Of course, it is nearly impossible to apply other’s techniques to my paper, and still come up with a totally original work, but anymore it is impossible to have a completely original piece, and the aid of my peers is much appreciated in the struggle that is essay-writing.
I looked at Grode’s essay and it is a topic that is very similar to mine. I am juxtaposing offense and defense, but he is looking at it in a much smaller, microscopic point of view and juxtaposing wide receiver and cornerback. I really like how he is not just comparing them on the field, but also showing the hard work that is required in the offseason to be successful. It is something I may incorporate into my own essay as well because it offers a nice little twist into the essay. I also like how Grode starts by saying the physical attributes that are needed in order to be a successful receiver (great body control, good hands, physical), but then uses a juxtaposition to describe ways that a cornerback can stop him (quick breaks, playing ball in the air, being equally as physical). It’s not just comparing the two, it is saying the strengths and weaknesses of each position and what each position uses to try and gain an advantage over the other. He is writing his essay as if it is a true battle within his essay, not just a battle on the field and it is something I am trying to do with my writing as well. I want the reader not to just be reading about the vigorous battle that goes on during a game--I want them to feel it. I want them to not just look at football as a game, but as a passion that many have. I believe Grode has that in his essay right now and I want that same mood to be present in my essay. I want the reader to go to games with a new perspective on the sport and can watch each side of the ball with a new outlook. They, I hope, will not just watch boys bump against one another, but see a battle happening on the gridiron. Grode shows that battle very well between the two positions, and I hope my essay shows the battle that goes on (both mentally and physically) during a football game.
In order to gain a better understanding of certain strategies of writing, and maybe even be exposed to new approaches that may be a better style for your specific essay, you must be open to reading other works, and learning from your fellow writers, peers, or alternative examples placed as strong precedents before you. From my time examining several of my classmates’ essays, I have seen many strong strategies and methods of writing the Comparison-Contrast essay, and through these, I have become even more familiar with some of my own weaknesses in the writing process. For example, I noticed I have a difficult time varying the structure of my sentences, in order to create a more interesting paper for others to read and digest. I perceived that both both Runia and Sherron exhibited a strong ability of sentence variations in their papers. Nearly every sentence they wrote started off in a unique and creative way, allowing for alterations of sentences and the way they flowed together. Also, I noticed extremely incredible vocabulary in both papers, virtually impeccable, that allows them to have sophisticated papers. Through reading my peers’ works, I’ve further come to realize that another one of my weaknesses in composition is the introduction, and effectively grabbing the reader's attention to keep throughout the rest of the paper. However, my mind became engrossed while reading the admirable opening statements found in Runia’s introductory paragraph. Her beginning passage captivates the reader’s thoughts, and continues to propel them into the rest of the essay, and I hope to strengthen my introduction to become as engrossing as the ones I have found in the essays of my classmates, such as Runia. Another essay I find as a great example is Campbell’s. Beginning with a clear yet witty title, she manages to tell how every medical profession is working for a common goal, just in varying ways. I hope to teach any reader of my essay how each topic is unique, yet both are similar in many ways, as Campbell does.
Some Composition strategies I took from my peers was to use a variety of sentence structure, vocabulary, and just overall creativity to make their essay unique to others. When I compose essays, I have the tendency to follow a similar format to other essay examples, rather than creating my own outline because when it comes to writing for me, I have the creativity of a rock. When I start an essay, I like to write my introduction with a similar arrangement to compared to other essays, and the same with my conclusion as well. I definitely struggle with putting my creativity on paper in a way that flows nicely without sounding random or sporadic. I want to try incorporating more comparisons in my essay to give my topics a more vivid description, rather than just saying “They look like…(insert adjective(s) here)”. I tend to always use compound sentences, and I am trying to embrace using simple, compound-complex, and even fragments in my essay to give it a nice flow and and diversity.
A lot of the essays I looked over had a sense of originality to them that I really enjoyed. I really liked Livingston’s (Erin) classification essay. Instead of just doing one paragraph per topic, she wrote numerous paragraphs about each topic, which made the essay seem shorter and easier to read. She included a variety of sentence lengths that ranged from compound-complex sentences to simple sentences. This really gave the essay a nice flow to it without sounding irregular. I really enjoyed Else’s essay; He added in some humor about some of the topics he wrote about, which gave the essay a nice light-hearted feel to it. It was a very entertaining essay to read. He really did a nice job with started his sentences differently.
6 Hokenstad After reading through essays written by my peers I have realized that I can improve on sentence structure variety. Hicks does very well with this aspect, and also adds impeccable humor throughout her essay to captivate the reader. I am thoroughly impressed by this and hope to add a little humor into my essay. I am also impressed by the word choice and writing style in Wheeler’s essay. She writes in a way that makes her points easy to understand while still using consistently wonderful writing skills throughout her essay. Amazing is the amount of content she was able to generate in such a short amount of time. Though Broekmeier’s essay is less than one page, I really enjoy how he begins with multiple questions pertaining to his topic to get his reader thinking. I hope to add a few questions such as these into my essay to add allure for the reader. Runia’s essay is filled with imagery from the moment you begin reading. I enjoy how she is writing almost narratively in the first paragraph and then moves on to further explain the two. She also uses great word choice and sentence structure that is rich in variety. Her use of the final exam terms are impeccable as well, while still making the writing flow and seem completely natural. I think adding passages that are written like Runia’s to my essay would make it more interesting to the reader and evoke further questioning from the reader as well. I think reading the essays’ of my classmates really helped me to think of new ideas to add to my own composition to make it exciting and colorful. I plan to work on expanding my essay in terms of length as well as with varied structure, word choice, and greater juxtaposition of different aspect of each topic. While writing this blog task I have thought of many other ideas that I will be able to incorporate into my essay.
Singh 7 A lot of people used different strategies and techniques to add uniqueness and originality to their essay. I usually struggle at making good transitions and having my essay be very coherent. Some strategies that I could pick up on from peers is vocabulary usage. Using better adjectives and nouns I noticed really made the essay a lot better. Using different sentence types and transitions really adds a nice element of variation to the essay. I feel having a good variation in my essay adds a sense of uniqueness to the essay. A lot of people I noticed used different methods for transitions and sentence types. Doing this makes your essay flow nicely. It also makes your audience more engaged in your essay. One strategy I use is to always have a thesaurus open and try to replace boring words with more interesting ones. I thought Hansen did a nice job of including diverse words and phrases. I was a lot more interested in his essay because of his good sentence structure and his interesting word usage to make his essay more fun. He also had had good transitions and his whole essay was very to the point. I thought this made his essay flow well and created a sense of continuity. I really felt like he new his topic well and he used good detail to describe his topic. I thought this was a good topic for him because he knew the topic very well. This made his essay unique to him and added a sense of originality. I also had trouble including all of the terms and Hansen incorporated them very well. Willard’s had sense of humor and very good originality. I liked his vocabulary and sentence structure. These are some techniques that I would like to add to my future essay.
6 Forster When composing an essay, it is important to be able to learn from your peers and adopt strategies that have been effective in their writing. Without the ability to learn from others, one will fail to grow in their own skills. While working on my own essay, I have taken the time to peruse through many of my peers’ essays and taken note of elements that I should make sure to include in my own essay. Composition strategies that I can adopt from my peers include adding sentence variety, such as beginning with varied word choice more often and incorporating more complex sentence structures in my essay. Also, I can add more intense imagery and descriptive words to better connect to the reader, and make my introduction paragraph more interesting to catch the attention of the reader. Through reading the comparison essays of my classmates, I observed that Runia’s essay was extremely descriptive and was full of imagery. She effectively uses personifications, such as “their hearts hammered inside their chests”. This improves her essay, and I hope to use more of these methods in my own essay. Additionally, I enjoyed Kluin’s title and how it used alliterations to catch the reader’s attention. This made me ponder whether to add this element into my essay. Along with an interesting title, Kluin varies sentence structure. Her sentences begin with prepositional phrases, introductory appositives, and are even sometimes worded as questions. I hope to add more sentence structure variety to my essay like she has. Lastly, while reading Campbell’s essay I enjoyed how she wrote on a relevant subject, and more than just that, made it easily applicable to the reader. This essay fully explains the differences between two crucial healthcare careers, physicians and pharmacists, which is useful to anyone. I hope to write in this same way so that my comparison methods will assist in better understanding.
While looking through my peers pieces, I can’t help but notice the incredible voice other authors can put into their writing. My pieces, however, are the antithesis of voice; I use tenacious analytical techniques through all my work, incorporating varying sentence structure, vocabulary, and even what I think are interesting topics. Previous teachers have drilled into my head the use of these techniques and I use them fervently, but without adding my own personality to the paper. Anyone who has met me knows that in person I am quite crazy, but none of my works carry this outgoing personality. I have become so accustomed to doing strictly analytical pieces, I have lost my voice. Now that I reach what I call the “anti-English” class, where I am encouraged to bend the rules of everything I have done before, I notice that my typical writing style is not up to scruff. Looking through my peers’ essays has dramatically increased my appreciation for voice. Two prime examples of voice include Vielmette and House. When discussing topics, Vielmette jokingly proposed “Logs vs. Trees;” however, he later went on to choose this seemingly random topic. While just his concept screams humorous originality, his piece itself contains an excellent flow of voice. He makes it seem like being a tree is an adventure; my first time reading his introduction immediately made me think, “I wish I was a tree.” Let us sit down and think about this for a second… you want to be… a tree. How ridiculous is that? But Vielmette’s use of voice and literary techniques bring this seemingly dumb idea to life. House on the other hand does not even try to mask his voice. While talking to him at lunch today, he encouraged me to give him feedback on his essay. I was initially quite shocked to find he had broken the fourth wall of writing and was discussing the act of choosing a topic. His blatant use of humor in nearly every line of his rough draft left me in fits of hysteria. While House’s humor may outweigh his rhetoric at the moment, I believe polishing his piece could result in a wonderful satirical essay. My peers have given me many ideas of using voice in my works; hopefully I can learn to use voice as well as they can in future pieces.
6 Symington Since I am doing the photo essay, I am going to try and juxtapose between frontline and drumline which are the two main band subsections in the percussion section for marching band. I chose to compare and contrast these two sections because for one, it is something that I know a lot about; I have been involved in it for the past four years. Secondly, they may seem quite similar in some cases but in reality they have a lot of unique differences that, if somebody was not paying very close attention, they would easily miss. Some examples of composition strategies that I can adopt from other peers would include things like effectively trying to capture the idea of how the two sections are similar and different in pictures without becoming too wordy with the subject. A few other things that I could adopt to make my photo essay flow better is to not just use the same sentence starters during each slide.
After reading through a few of my peer’s essays, I noticed that I can Harvison had excellent sentence structure and variation along with new sentence starters that kept me eager to keep reading. Johnke developed his ideas very well in explaining a topic that I do not know much about. Headrick’s comparison-contrast essay kept me and I am sure many others entertained with a hilarious topic but a serious manner. Much like Headrick’s essay, Sjogren has found a unique comparison for two opposing outfits--sweatpants and jeans-- in which she expertly uses different word choice to enhance many parts of her essay. In my opinion, reading many of my other classmate’s essays has helped me realize what I can do to improve my own writing styles and techniques. Throughout my photo essay, I hope to use some of their techniques to better my own.
1Jeanson As I read other papers I find a wide variety of writing styles. The most iconic that I have read were Mr. Vielmette’s, Ms. Hicks’, and Ms. Ellis’. In Mr. Vielmette’s essay he has this amazing view on something that I’m fairly certain no one would ever think to write about. He has also managed to mix analytical reasonings and an odd topic. I aspire to be able to mix personality and scientific reasoning in a fluid way without making it sound as if the essay was written by two different people. I do manage to put lots and lots of personality into my essays but not quite as well as anything Ms. Hicks has done. She has a way with words that can make something meaningful and hilarious all at the same time. The start of my essay and the introduction of her’s are kinda similar and I really like how she started off with a scenario instead of just jumping into a thesis. It really helps to connect the reader to the paper and draw them in in order to continue reading what will ultimately be an amazing essay if it is being written by Ms. Hicks. In Ms. Ellis’ essay the reader is reading about things that we (Americans) are dealing with in real life right this moment and she is using an outline to organize her thoughts. I’m not really using an outline persay but I do have all my ideas right alongside my essay. Ms. Ellis is most definitely a writer and I can never hope to be as good as she is at putting thoughts on paper. I really wish I could reach the level of understanding she has with a keyboard or a pen, but for now I can use her as an inspiration to keep working harder in order to achieve maximize my composition skills.
I think it's very important to read others essays and consider their positions on their writings because it provides motivation and inspiration on what to write in our essay, By reading our classmates essays we can improve our own writing skills by learning new ways to work things in order to make sentence structure, grammar, and word choice to create a more unified piece of work we can be proud of.
The first essay I read was written by the always lovely Miss Livingston. I have known her for a many years now and have just recently gotten to know her even better and it has been a delight. What I have learned is her undying love for cats, and to no surprise she chose to right dogs versus cats. As I read her essay, I couldn't help but to laugh at her creativity as it flowed onto the page from her brain. She does a very good job of following guidelines, while spicing up her essay with funny detail that no one would ever think of. I am very much a dog person, so while reading hers I found things that I would greatly improve my own compare and contrast essays like word choice, and incorporating aspects like metaphors, similes, and other components we have learned throughout our years in english. In her compelling work that juxtaposes cats and dogs--a classic set of foes put forth by nature--she personifies them well, like they have very humanistic qualities that provides a certain spunkiness to her essay.
I also read through Mr. Else's essay and was pleasantly surprised by this also classic pairing. Most people would recognize this off the bat, and it automatically can help keep people interested in his essay, even though it could do hat on its own. Else does a really good job of varying how he starts his sentences, and also the order of his sentence structure. His word choice is very strong, I even had to look up some words. One thing I noticed was how repetitive his subjects were. I understand though that it is difficult to write if the subject is the same in every single sentence.
Some composition strategies I hope to be able to adopt from my peers and friends are: to be able to start my sentences in a different and interesting way other than using “the” and “these/this” so often, using more sentence variety through complex, compound, and compound complex sentences, and to use more interesting and deeper words that most people might not immediately think of to keep the writing interesting, yet understandable. I find that starting sentences with “the” and other bland words similar to that is a large habit in my writing. In my classification essay, I tried to minimize the amount of sentences I started in each paragraph with “the” and similar words. I also want to try to get using more different types of sentences to keep my essays interesting and flowing nicely. It can sometimes be a challenge to get them worked in there without prior thinking about it. I also want to continue to try to add more unique words, or words that are synonymous but different from the regular word.
Someone whose writing I really enjoyed reading and learned a lot from was Livingston E. Her topic was one that I am familiar with, and it interested me already. Her classifications were top notch and writing kept me interested. I also very much enjoyed Hanson’s essay. His use of sentence variation and excellent transitions keep the writing flowing and gave me an interest in his topic. His transitions melted right into the next topic, and I hope that I can learn to really get my paragraphs together in that same way, so that my readers hopefully will not be able to notice a huge change besides the break in paragraphs. Almost everyone whose paper I read were all very good, and I felt that I could take something from each and every one of the papers that I read.
I have always struggled on relating an analogy to the real world, to something that makes it more understandable. I believe that Hoffmann does this extremely well in his compare and contrast essay, comparing his topic to Loony Tunes. Overall, I like his essay because of the way he compares and contrast two things that most people would not really believe have and similarities other than they are both pets, those two things being cats and parakeets. I would also like to adopt some of his writing styles, the way he writes it just flows beautifully. His transitions are also wonderful and I would like to draw from that to make my essay better and more entertaining. I think one of my weaknesses when it comes to composing an essay is the transitions from paragraph to paragraph, if I could improve on this I believe that my essays would much, much better. Also, I always struggle on starting and ending an essay and I think Hoffmann started his essay very well. A strong intro paragraph sets your essay up for success and allows you to compose easier. Additionally, I would like to say I love Woessner’s compare and contrast topic, upperclassmen and underclassmen, this topic has a lot of range and possibilities to explore and compare which makes it such an interesting topic to me. I love my compare and contrast topic a lot as well but looking at the topics of others is so interesting, there are so many essays I would love to read like Headrick’s essay, comparing pancakes and waffles. Also, Bachman’s essay, comparing the LCS and the NFL, would be number one on my list to read because of my love for the game League of Legends and my joy of watching the NFL, especially the Broncos.
Peers are our greatest source of information. We learn so much from what our peers say and do. As the Bible says, iron sharpens iron as one man sharpens another man. Composition strategies are no different than any other things we pick up from our peers. If a peer says a hilarious joke, you are bound to repeat it at some point. That same occurrence happens with composition strategies. One main strategy I can pick up from my peers would be how to flow from sentence to sentence and paragraph to paragraph. Another composition strategy that I can acquire from my peers is the use of more intelligent words. It is difficult to find new words to replace others that are overused. There are many strategies out there to use, but the only way I am going to find out what they are and how to use them I must look at my peers’ essays.
Talcott uses great verbiage throughout his entire essay. I plan on talking to him about how I can bring that into my essay in an appropriate manner that fits my personality. Talcott also varies his sentence starters superbly. Using other words than “they”, “the”, or “a” to begin a sentence is a definite issue when it comes to my essay composition. Talcott uses gerunds to begin his sentences and I plan on bringing that into my essay as well. Clemenson uses comment boxes to tell him what needs to be done later. This is an interesting composition strategy that I will put to use in all of my future essays to further their excellence. Clemenson also uses the comment bubbles to ask questions of grammar to people that are proofreading. This strategy is also effective in that it will benefit him to have the best grammar possible due to many people acknowledging the place that may contain an error.
1 Willard To start, i definitely could have spent a little more time on creating a metaphor for my essay. Broekemeier does a fantastic job of employing the use of metaphor in his essay where he compares many ways in which people react to everyday situations. His analogy includes that of varying fighting styles. Also, another thing he does quite well is staying on topic. On occasion, in my essay, i found myself deviating from the actual base idea of the paragraph therefore reducing the effectiveness of the message I was trying to convey. I feel this happened given the more non essential variety that was included, the more the message was likely to be misconstrued. Munson does a good job of incorporating the stipulated pieces of the essay such as vocabulary in a non forced way. I felt when writing mine, it felt forced, and due to that, the essay became less unique and less mine. Munson also does a fantastic job of providing basis for what he is saying through factual information that seems genuinely accurate. I feel having that factual basis is essential. In my essay, most everything i was writing was strictly based upon opinion and observation. That isn’t necessarily wrong, however, it isn’t the most effective method of writing given that not everything being said is accurate. Bachman does a good job of almost telling in a story through his description of each category. Because he did this, I feel I can more closely relate to the categories that he is describing. Bachman also uses a sort of humorous theme throughout, which i can genuinely appreciate. That humor makes the essay significantly more enjoyable to read. You don’t have to struggle through it and because of that, it's much easier to read and understand until the very end.
95 comments:
7Riley
Some composition strategies I can adopt from my other peers in my class are: flowing from one paragraph to the next, not being choppy, using different words to start sentences besides using the subject, “they”, or “the”. You can also learn more about compound, compound-complex, complex, simple sentences etc. just by reading through their essay and looking in the comments to see if they have marked their sentences, this can be quite helpful. I have noticed throughout my essay I was very mad about finding different ways to start my sentences I was always starting my sentences with “they”. I also struggled for the longest time making my paper flow and not making it choppy and unorganized, but I finally got it. I feel like looking through peers essays helps you with your own mistakes you made throughout your essays and later apply them to other assignments and better your self from their paper or papers.
I think that Hanson did a very good job flowing from one paragraph to another, his essay did not sound choppy at all, his was very smooth reading and it was interesting to read. Knutson did well on making sure that she did not start all of her sentences with “the” or “they”. She had a variety of different ways to start sentences and all of them were very creative. Jensen did a good job keeping her storing interesting and entertaining, she had really good vocabulary and her classification essay was creative and it was not like anyone else's in the room, it stood out to me. Huska did a wonderful job commenting all of her simple, compound, compound-complex and complex sentences making it easier for me to pick out mine in my essay just by reading hers. However, I noticed that many people struggled with starting their sentences with “they” or “the”. We did good in making our paragraphs flow from one to another and not many people used bland words which is always a good thing!
7Huska
A few of the composition strategies I can gain from my peers are: greater sentence skills, the smooth flowing of sentences, a more exciting word choice, and varying sentence starters. It also helped me to be able to look at how others labeled their sentences (compound, compound-complex, complex, and simple sentences) so I would be able to label it on my paper while learning what the sentences mean. I always seem to confuse the sentences and so this greatly helped me in my learning process. I seemed to struggle a lot with the flow of my sentences and being able to change up my word choice so my friends and the thesaurus website helped me a ton. Looking at peer essays also helped me get my ideas flowing and gave me a great deal of inspiration to begin and finish my paper. By looking at your peers uniqueness of their papers it helps you get a feel for their voice which I feel like helps you find your own.
Wheeler is who helped me the most with all my writing by helping me correct my mistakes and by me reading their essay I was able to get a feel for what I was writing and how to begin my essay. They write so well that it just gives you that motivation to become a great writer and try to improve your writing. Lindemann wrote their paper in a different and unique way. Instead of putting all their descriptions in one paragraph they made different paragraphs targeting the different descriptions of each classification. It gave me a different idea on how to go about my writing and that I don’t have to do it in the same way every time. Overall I really like how all the essays are able to be viewed by everyone as it helps people get an idea on how to go about their essays and how to fix their issues when writing.
van kalsbeek 7
While reading other people’s classification essays I found many things that I could adopt as my own and use for future essays. Some of these were by using more transition words to liven up the essay more instead of using the common ones such as “the” and “they”. I really struggled on this part since I automatically tend to start majority of my sentences with “the”. Also by reading my peers essay I could see their voice in the essay by the way they described their different kinds of classes which helped me to see that I need to be able to describe more effectively. Another problem I had with the classification paper is the fact that my grammar skills are perhaps to say lower than most so by being able to label the different sentences in my essay allowed me to see how I would use them more. Besides the grammar another challenging thing was not wanting to just stuff random sentences in to make it to 5 pages. Other than the challenges I learned to use more efficient transitions in order to make the essay flow from one topic to the next instead it being so choppy.
I feel as though a very well written essay was done by Reinschmidt. She really did a good job of letting her sentences flow and being very descriptive in order to describe the different types of siblings. I really feel as though she had a strong voice and tried to give the reader the best and worst parts of siblings. In Hanson’s classification essay I really enjoyed the class names it made me want to continue to read his essay to learn more about his groups. Grode did a good job of spreading out his vocabulary words and using them in the right context. Overall I found good things in every essay I read but in others I could see the struggles of some people by not knowing what to write and just cramming things into their essay in order for them to meet the length requirement. I would also like to put that once I found what I wanted to write about I felt as though the words came to me more easier I just had to really focus and be determined to finish.
7 Hanson
Some composition strategies I can gain from my fellow peers essays would be, to liven up my sentences with better word usage, be more diverse with the types of sentences I am using, and have a better flow from one topic to the next. From looking at your peers essays it can really help you see how they flow from one topic to the next and seeing this two or three times really helps someone like me who struggles with trying have a good transition between paragraphs. Also when reading a peer's essay and you see the use of a complex sentence or a compound sentence it may give you a new perspective as how to write those sentences. That was a big struggle for me, trying to incorporate compound-complex sentences and complex sentences correctly in my essay. Lastly I had some trouble with trying not to start each sentence with my classification name, which I feel I actually did alright with.
An essay that was composed very well I feel was done by Loosbrock. His essay structure was superb, he used all four sentence types throughout the entire essay which was hard for me to do. Also his transitions from one paragraph into another are very smooth, almost to the point where you do not realize sometimes that you are in a new paragraph. Another great point about his essay was the humor that he included. Another great essay was Johnke’s essay. The analogy that Johnke used was great. Also how Johnke compared parents to dogs I found to be very funny. Van Kalsbeek’s essay was another essay that I found to be very good. Her classification names were pretty good and the way she described each class made me want to continue reading and see what the next group would be.
6 Johnke
Composition strategies vary greatly from person to person, some taking the easy route and others exceeding expectations, going above and beyond. The essays that pop out to me the most are the ones with peculiar and exciting vocabulary. Composers who use exotic words often are able to pull in the audience with a greater ease because the trite words are what dissuades readers from enjoying the literature and getting into it. Variation of sentence structure is important because it adds diversity and limits redundancy. With a greater diversity of sentence it is seemingly easier to get rid of unnecessary and boring words, such as: they, like, etc. If one is able to master the ability to add variation of sentence structure, increase the diversity of word choice, and eliminate irrelevant words, I am quite positive the beauty of their writing will improve immensely.
The great majority of our class composed excellent essays but my personal favorite was Loosbrock’s. The political scrutiny was humorous all while using tasteful words and an insane number of metaphors (the whole essay is a metaphor, so that’s pretty neat and unusual for someone of our age). Loosbrock’s essay is creative too because it covers a very current topic with the election fast approaching and debates commencing. Corcoran’s essay also stuck out to me because he used unconventional vocabulary all while keeping the ability to comprehend the essay. He added proof to his essay and examples such as giving the rating of movie by Rotten Tomatoes and what each group of moviegoers would watch like 12 Years A Slave and Amour. My third favorite essay was done by Lindemann. She used several puns which are alway good and allowed for her personality to shine through clearly. Another reason the essay she composed popped out to me was because she chose a interesting topic--a classification essay about essay writers--which I feel is both risky and ingenuitive.
1 Hauge
Looking at your classmates’ essays can really help you with your own. You can decide whether or not to try something new in your essay or know what you do not want to have in your essay. I know I have a trouble starting my essays so I look a lot at people’s introductory paragraph and thesis statement. When I’m having trouble I look at their word choice and flow of their writing and think about how I can apply that to my writing in my own way or style. I also have a problem with wording things funny. In my head they make sense to me and when I read it from my screen it looks fine. What I really need to do is read my essay out loud so I can hear any weird sounding parts in the essay.
I think Headrick’s essay was very well written and had a witty introductory paragraph. His comparison of pencils to people is funny and gives a nice ease to the beginning of the essay. His classification makes people think in an unconventional way which is fantastic. I also very much enjoyed Presler’s introductory paragraph. She used examples and asked questions to the reader already making the reader think more and perhaps more interested in what is left in store. Her introductory was also very smooth and her sentences were very calm and not worded weirdly. In Harvison’s letter she states facts about the world but then adds her own opinion and say in how she thinks her topic is classified. She even uses four of the ten final exam terms in her introductory paragraph. I should really take note of that. I know that there are plenty of essays left to write and I am glad we have the chance to see our classmates’ essays so we can learn from them.
Hoffman 3
I have found that the market and possibility of ideas on this essay is absolutely uncanny. Smit has crafted an idea that is simply titled, “Boyhood vs. Manhood”, in which I have had a chortle and a half about. He has laid out all of his ideas onto his blank canvas of an essay, and though it’s not much now, the seeds of possibility must be pondered to grow. I have also discovered that Hicks has an incredibly grand sense of humor, for her draft, in which probably won’t even be her topic, is just a rant that sounds as if it’s spoken by a fast-talking Boston worklady. I was speaking it out loud to myself and had to stop frequently, because I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. I think that even though this idea of hers is jocular and strange, it is a pre show of what can be. I have learned from Poole that your introduction does not have to be cut and paste by any means. Hers begins almost backwards, and does not end the sentence with “knowing the difference between the two, bla bla bla.”, in which I find nearly annoying when it is to be read over and over in multifarious essays. She understands that an introduction should set the course and an essay must lead with awesome. Wheeler writes at such a magnitude that is intoxicating. The essay I had quickly skimmed exuded such grandeur, especially because of the topic: Art and Literature. The idea is so wonderful, and Wheeler has almost taken up all the required space for two entire pages! How in the world may somebody reach that before I am able to create even a topic? Furthermore, the essays I have seen are wonderful to say the least, and though I will be doing a video project instead, I admire them truly.
7 Grode
Some of the composition strategies I can adopt from my peers are flowing my sentences. I somewhat flow my sentences, but it could be a lot better. I need to be able to recognize what types of sentences I have used too much of, especially in a row. Once I figure that out, I can use the different types of sentences more appropriately, such as complex and compound-complex sentences. I also could adopt transitions from paragraph to paragraph better. In my classification essay, i really struggled with transitions. I could learn from Blue on his essays. He did exceptionally well on his transitions. He started each paragraph with a strong sentence, which is a good idea. I could also learn from my peers how to use better and broader vocabulary. A lot of my words are bland, and using a better choice of vocab could really add a lot of color to my essays. I think Van Kalsbeek did a really sound job on her essay. She had very good words for her classes and did a really good job at painting a picture of each classification in my head. Being a Duke fan myself, I can definitely relate to her essay and I couldn’t have wrote it better myself. I also thought that Mork did a really good job. She described something to me that I had no prior knowledge about and did a really good job at painting a picture in my head. She also added a lot of humor in her essay, which made it her own and a lot more enjoyable to read. She clearly showed her personality in her essay and taught me a lot about something I knew nothing about. Wickersham did a really good job at adding a lot of his own humor into his essays. I hope to be able to add a lot of my own humor eventually in mine.
3 Waldera
While reading my peers essays I realized that I could strengthen my own writing by varying sentence structure. When comparing them to my essay I noticed that some of my sentences began similar, they would start with the words "they" and "these" . In the future, I will look to improve the variation of structure and limit myself to only a few sentences starting with the same word. Another thing I could strengthen is my grammar, I could have used better verbiage that would make my writing clearer and stand out better. Another thing that I could work on is my transition from paragraph to paragraph. I could also strengthen my essay by adding sentence structures that I do not normally use. In the classification, we had to add examples of complex sentences and that was a struggle for me, after reading my peers I learned some new ways to add complex and compound-complex sentences into my essay. I think adding them will help eliminate sentence structure repetition.
An essay that I thought was written very well was done by House. In his essay he used fantastic sentence structure and made sure every sentenced varied, yet flowed together very good. He also used a good variation of vocabulary throughout his essay which I believe helped strengthen it significant amounts. Another essay that I read was by Hanson. His essay flowed very well and was not choppy at all. He used good transition words and did not get repetitive with sentence structure. He had a very good grouping system that tied well with him and his personality. Overall his essay was interesting, enjoyable to read, and very well written. You could tell that he was not short on information as there were not massive amounts of "fluff" or unnecessary information. I will use these examples of good writing to strengthen my compare and contrast essay.
6Zajicek
While looking through others essays a skill I tend to lack is the ability to flow throughout my whole essay. I have strong paragraphs but transitioning from topic to topic is something I struggle with. Once I get this skill down I can then progress to other things I can work on such as stronger sentences. A Lot of the sentences I write tend to write are either simple sentences or run ons. I hope that down the line I can produce stronger sentences including compound, or compound-complex sentences. With these skills my essays will be stronger and hopefully more enjoyable to read. This is another thing that seems to prevail itself throughout my essays. In my essays they seem to be more formal, I would like my essays to be easier to read and more relatable to the reader. When all these skills are accumulated and I can put use to them in my essay I would think that my essays would be stronger and more enjoyable.
Searching through essays I came across Reinschmidt’s essay which I found she was very strong at transitions and composing strong sentences. In Reinschmidt’s essay she made sure to give the reader through detail of her topic letting the reader know the best and worst of her topic. Again this is a very important skill that many must have to develop strong essays. Letting the reader obtain as much information as they can about the topic will leave them with more information and an opinion about that specific topic. Along with Reinschmidt I found that Van Kalsbeek had a strong essay as well. In Van Kalsbeek’s essay she used strong vocabulary which lead me to believe she knew what she was talking about. When you have this skill you are more likely to persuade the reader based on the sole purpose it sounds like you know what you are talking about. After reading these two girls essay I hope to obtain these skills and put them to use in my essays.
6Koehn
While reading my peer’s essays, I found ways to adopt new composition strategies to incorporate into future essays. I learned from reading other essays how to start my sentences better and vary my sentence structure. While writing my essay, I struggled with varying my sentence structure and varying how I start my sentences. I would start of sentences with ‘the” and “they” quite frequently, and I found that reading these over and over can be quite boring. Having the word “you” in examples and scenarios too frequently is also another thing I struggled with. Repeating this word can make reading the scenarios very redundant and choppy. Vocabulary being a weak skill of mine, I struggled with incorporating the five vocab words. Considering that was a struggle in itself, it was very hard to try and eschew from banal words, but to try and spice it up with fancy and exciting words. Besides varying sentences structures, reading these essays also helped me with incorporating unique transition words. I often have difficulty with trying not to use common transitions. Seeing how other students used transitions gave me ideas on how to start my paragraphs better in order to catch my readers attention right away, and to keep them entertained throughout my entire essay.
I feel as though Woodward did a fantastic job on varying her sentence structures. Almost every time she started a sentence differently and the structure within the sentence varied. The sentences had great flow as well as her transitions did from paragraph to paragraph. Van Kalsbeek also did a really good job staying away from banal vocab and adding spice to her essay. Another great composition strategy Van Kalsbeek incorporates in her essay was personality. While reading her essay I could really see her passion and love for Duke. Being able to read other classmate’s essays is a wonderful thing because sometimes we can't see what we are doing wrong in our own essays. Looking at their essays can really show oneself what their essay is lacking, and what they can change to make their next essay even better.
3 Kueter M
Although we have just started this comparison-contrast essay, there are many strategies I can adopt from my peers. For example, most of my classmates have outlines on their essays. Making this outline, helps ease their writing process. Knowing what you want to write beforehand helps prevent writer's block. Thus, I used this strategy myself and writing this essay has been a breeze. Not only have I learned to make an outline, but also to write about something I am passionate about. If you were to give me a list of essay topics from my classmates, I could probably tell you who chose them. Those who are writing about topics they are passionate in typically are very far in their essay because they are having fun writing about it. Hence, the most important strategy is to write about something you are passionate about, not something you found off the internet.
I think Bachman had a wonderful opening sentence. He used descriptive writing which helped me picture what he was talking about. Mendoza is doing a very good job about going in depth with her topics. Although she is only two paragraphs in, her information is complete which helps in reading her essay. Olthoff started his essay with superb sentence variety. His first sentence started with a dependent clause, the second started with a transition, and the third started with dependent clause also. He is just getting started and it looks great! Poole also used great sentence variety. She used transition words, prepositional phrases, and infinitives. In Wheeler’s essay, I absolutely loved this sentence: “[Sketcher] stories are shown in pencil strokes and paint swirls and charcoal smudges, each line, curve, and shape laid out to reflect their vision.” The verbs used in this sentence are amazing! My mind can picture this with ease. Those of my classmates who have started on their essay are doing a great job and I am excited to read more!
3 Kueter A
Some of the strategies I can adopt from my peers in the compare and contrast essay are how to successfully introduce my topic through the introduction. I have learned how to start it off in a way that catches and intrigues the readers to keep reading and stay interested. Also I have learned how to flow my sentences together, making one thought flow into the next to make my essay smooth and easy to read, which makes it more enjoyable to read. Being able to read other papers has helped me to not only figure out what I wanted to write about but helped me start my essay. Lastly, I learned the importance of sentence variety by reading through some essays. It is incredibly boring to use the subject at the beginning of every sentence and may cause you to lose the reader's attention. In order to keep them intrigued you must have a catchy introduction and an impressive essay to follow and so far my peers are doing a good job.
I really like Hick’s introduction to her essay. It starts off kind of like a play and you want to read more to find out what happens just like in a play you want to keep watching to see how it plays out. That introduction strengthens her essay and makes readers more intrigued to read. Wheeler has an incredible amount of descriptive words which makes it very easy to read and picture in my head. I do not get lost but instead, I want to read on because of how vividly it is written, and that is a major strength of hers. Smit has very good sentence variety in his essay, along with his verb usage. He did not use bland verbs like had, is, and said; he used verbs like cultivated, nurtured, and reared. By doing this he helps the reader to picture the essay better. Hopefully I will be able to use all of these aspects that my peers excell in to make my essay more comprehensible and descriptive.
3 Moelter
As I have been looking through my peers essays, I have found a lot that I should work on to incorporate into my essays. I have a hard time coming up with topics to talk about, well at least for five pages anyway, I just don’t always have the mindset to be able to write and compose the way others have an easy time with. Also, I have to think of an easier way to add the vocabulary words we need to have in each essay, because adding them at the end like I did in the last essay was sort of difficult. Another topic I always seem to have difficulty with is starting out paragraphs or sentences. Therefore when looking through my classmates essays I have tried to look for these things that I struggle with in hopes that they can help me in my future essays.
Reading through them I realized that Hick and the Kueters are really good at including humor in their essays. Even though Hick may or may not end up with that comparison topic it was still a great first introduction paragraph. Even though the Kueters are both doing movies, they differ vastly from each other. One is about dinosaur movies and the other princess movies; reading through all these different essays make me realize how much room we have to pick and choose what we are willing to talk about. These essays really give you an idea of what the people who wrote them are like as they all have their own perspectives; such as, Molly’s essay will not look like Amy’s essay and Hicks essay will completely differ from the both of them. Everyone has their own personalities and ideas, therefore finding two essays that are identical would have to be the result of plagiarism. No two people have ever been the same not even twins like the Kueters, so why would their essays?
3 Mendoza
Although are still at a very early stage in our Compare and Contrast Essays, I can see many useful strategies used by my peers. Many students are conducting an outline, which I did not do. I think this will be very helpful for myself as I can organize my own ideas together instead of just thinking of an idea right on the spot and just writing about it. By reading my peers essays, I can see they use great sentence variety and even some Term Tuesday sentences as well. I personally haven’t even started to go into the process of inserting the vocabulary words and the eleven through twenty Term Tuesday terms because I like to do that last. Right now I am solely focused on achieving a three page rough draft by Friday and editing and revising later. I also noticed that many of my peers started their body paragraphs first, then saved their introduction and conclusion for last. I believe this could of been a very effective method for myself as I had trouble starting the essay at first. It could of saved me plenty of time and I could of been at three pages, instead of two. I also wish I could of picked a topic I actually had more knowledge of. I chose to pick a very broad topic because I felt at the time it would give me more to write about, but now I find myself having writer's block. Hopefully I figure this out and can achieve the three pages on Friday.
Poole has great transitions throughout her essay and although I do not know in depth the contrast between singers and instrumentalists, she makes it very clear in her essay. Wheeler also has great a great writing style, and keeps her essay filled with variety. She does not always start her sentences with the subject, as that can be very boring very quickly.
3 Myers
By reading some of the comparison-contrast essays, one composition strategy I could adopt is using rhetorical questions. This would provide more voice in my essay. Looking at other people essays has helped me think of different ways that I can start introductory paragraph because I often struggle starting an essay. The essays I looked at did a good job on using different sentence structures. I feel that when I am writing my essay I use the same words too often. I also read essays that had different types of sentences. I feel like my essays mainly consist of simple and compound sentences which can become boring to read. In the classification essay we had to use the different types of sentences so I hope that creating those sentences will make using them in this next essay easier. Another strategy I plan on adopting is using better transitions. Having a good transition will keep the reader interested and want to continue to read the essay. Reading through some of the essays from my class has helped me think of different ways to write transitions. The essay I found that was well written was by M Kueter. The essay she wrote flowed very well and was interesting to read. I loved her topic so it made me want to keep reading it. It is clear that she is passionate about her topic. I think she did a very good job by using different sentence structures. I think this is very difficult to do and I hope to try more of it in this essay. It appears that she used a lot of the terms that we have learned. Also, she has already used the five vocabulary words in her essay. I think she has done a good job of linking the two movies together after listing the differences. Another essay that I looked at was written by A Kueter. She also wrote about two movies. I think she uses good descriptive words that keep the reader interested. I like her introductory paragraph because it hooks the reader right from the start. Her sentences also flow very well together. I hope to learn how to make my own essay better from reading these two very well written essays.
3 Poole
There are many strategies for writing an essay. I could space out my work time or do it in large chunks at one time; I could plan what I am going to type or I could write what comes to me; I could use skills I have learned from Term Tuesday or I could use the textbook to help each of my essays sound better than the one I wrote before. Any number of these strategies would be great ideas. Braley has not yet started the “meaty” portion of her essay, but she did do a great deal of planning ahead. In fact, I have adopted her idea and did so myself. Mendoza is a fast worker. She has already completed more than I have, and I should look at her essay to find out what her plan for meeting the length requirement is. Not only is there a requirement of quantity, but also quality. Barton has not yet begun writing, but he does have several good ideas. My subject is vocalists compared to instrumentalists, but if I had thought about it longer, I’m sure I could have come up with many more great ideas; biking vs. driving, typing vs. writing, children vs. adults, and pens vs. pencils would all be other options that would not require me to do a lot of research or learning about the subjects. All of my peers are intelligent and all of my peers are kind. I am positive that there is no limit to what they could teach me, as well as what I could teach them. This class not only requires studiousness, but also creates and refines it. I have no doubt that by the end of this semester, all of us will have learned and taught so much about english and writing and speaking.
1 Klamm
I know that I need help figuring out my paragraph styling and choosing between alternating and block. Sherron is going block styling which I think is a good idea for her essay. She discusses inner beauty in one paragraph and outer beauty in another. I am comparing boy and girl friends and this might be a option for my styling of my essay. I would discuss female friends in one paragraph and male friends in another. Sherron is also very good at her word choice and I will try to emulate what she does in my essay. I need better vocabulary to make my essay sound better and more experienced. Loosbrock however is using more of an alternating approach. He is discussing both football and soccer in every paragraph. This could also be helpful to me when discussing my guy and girl friends.
I also need to start my introductory paragraph. I have a very hard time coming up with what to say and also including what I am talking about for my whole essay. I really liked how Johnke started his essay. He had both facts and humor in his starting paragraph. He also discussed both of his topic and compared and contrasted them. I want to try and figure out a way to start my essay with comparing and contrasting my two topics. I feel like this will help me to show what I am going to talk about throughout my essay and it will also help in figuring out what to write in my introductory paragraph. Hockenstad has clear differences between her two topics. This is helpful in knowing exactly what she will be talking about for both topics. I could use this styling in my introductory paragraph to make sure the readers know what they are going to read.
Hoffmann 1
My peers are a great resource, and most everyone wrote great essays for the Classification.
However, one essay that stood out to me--mainly because I edited it in our forums--was Reese’s. My problem as I wrote my essay was including enough voice to make the essay unique and personal, but Reese probably didn’t have too much trouble, as his essay is packed with imagery that makes his dislike of the faults of his classes and his contentment with their good qualities immediately evident. I think it carried his voice throughout the essay and helped pull it together into one flowing statement.
Another essay that I found very helpful was Headrick’s. He included great imagery and descriptions of his classifications in a way that made it extraordinarily easy to visualize the students around me as their corresponding pencil types. This was especially helpful to me because one comment that I got in our forums was to include more descriptive imagery, so Headrick’s essay is a great example for me to follow. I also liked that some of his imagery was humorous, like when he says, “They are cheap but sometimes really nice ones have sayings like ‘Math is Cool’ or ‘Do Not Do Drugs!’” I do not think that I include much humor in my writing; I find it hard to insert without sounding weird, but Headrick’s imagery made me chuckle without being a blaringly obvious attempt at humor.
A final essay that I have room to talk about here was Quanbeck’s. I admired the way his use of the required vocab words meshed into his essay. Reading through some other essays, the vocab words seemed awkwardly used and out place. However, Quanbeck managed to use advanced and varied words in the rest of his essay that made the vocab words fit right in, despite being colored bright orange. I think I did a decent job varying my word choice and using advanced wording, but Quanbeck did a great job, so I will probably be checking his essay if I get stuck trying to think of new word choice to use.
6 Long
While reading other students essays, I have found many things that I should strive to do in my own essays. I sometimes struggle with writing, however the examples that are given to us make it seem so easy and they always are so put together and flow nicely. Using different sentence types can also make the essay much less choppy and give it more variety. They use different sentence starters, instead of just “them” and “they”. The good essays also add in their own personality, making it much more interesting and entertaining to read. Their word choice is good, and the verbs that they use are much more descriptive and uncommon than your typical “jump, ran, etc”. Having a more lively set of words makes your essay so much more detailed. Making my sentences flow together more is also something that I could learn from my peers because it is definitely something I have to work on.
I think Myers did a really good job on her essay. She compared the different types of people who went to sporting events to different types of animals. She had strong sentences and opinions, and was very clear when comparing the two. She had a clear voice and added in her own personality in order to make the essay more amusing. Her categories are relatable, because I have seen examples of them myself at certain games. Woodward also did a nice job on hers, and her transitions from each paragraph were really good. I feel as if I need to also work on having better transitions in order to make my whole essay much more neat and less rough. I love being able to look at my classmates essays. It gives me much more of an idea of what I need to personally work on in order to improve for my next essay.
6 McGee
My classmates did a very good job of using sentence variation and good grammar techniques within their comparison and contrasting essay. They also did an amazing job of making their essay interesting so that I actually enjoyed reading the essay. They had interesting topics and great sentences that made reading flow and fun. They have also already started putting the grammar topics in, this helps them flow easier because you don't have the struggle to get them in at the end. Many of them also made a plan and wrote out the things they would write about before starting to write so that the writing process was easier and so it moved smother. My peers have done a wonderful job so far with writing their essays. I will try to adopt some of these techniques so that my essays are better. I will try to put in the essay terms and the vocab words as I write instead of at the end. And I will also use more variation of sentences so that reading flows better and is not so choppy and repetitive. I looked at Runia’s essay and she did a very good job of using sentence variation. She also did a great job of starting her paragraphs off with good and interesting sentences. She also has started putting some of the grammar terms in there and I believe that that is a great technique. He sentences are also written very well. I also looked at Kluin and her first paragraph was written very well and it got my attention and made me interested in reading the rest of her comparison and contrast essay. Her topic sentence is written very well and was very impressive. The sentence really drew me in and would made me excited for the rest of the essay. Both of these ladies and the rest of my class are doing a great job with their essays.
6Clark
This blog task is a great choice because there are a variety of different composition strategies that I can adopt from my peers. One way I can figure out what I need to add or do more of in my essay is by reading other people's essays and seeing what they are doing that makes their sentence flow better and sound good all around in their essay. I have read a few of my peers essays and here is what I noticed. Waltner has a very strong introductory paragraph and something that he does well is adding descriptive and higher level nouns to help describe more in detail of what he is saying. As I was glancing over Beck's essay I noticed that she does a very good job at describing the details of cheer and dance to those who are unaware. If she did not explain it like she did then it would not be a very clear essay to the unknowns of the cheer and dance world. Galbavy's essay started off very well by grabbing your attention right at the beginning of his introductory paragraph by having his first sentence be interesting and really grab the attention of the readers. Jensen's whole essay is just attention grabbing. It for sure is a societal problem occurring right now and I will be for sure to go back and read her essay when it is fully composed to read more about this controversial topic. Wrightsman did very well in her essay by choosing a topic that relates to her peers so they can read it and understand exactly what she means and relate to what she is saying. She will also be able to receive help easily from her peers by asking them some differences between being a freshman and senior because they will be able to offer advice and add more topics to her essay. Reading my peers essays helped me a lot to figure out where my composing weak points are and to just receive ideas from others who may have some intelligent ways of writing.
6Sherron
Just from looking at the essays of my peers, I have seen many ways to improve my own essay. Looking at my classmates’ essays helps not only to jog ideas, but also for ways to diversify my essay or maybe squeeze in some final exam terms.
To start, I actually need to write a lot more before I can compare to other students because as the essay gets longer the ideas will be more complete (hopefully) and there will be more things to contrast. One thing I like in Beckman’s essay is her introductory paragraph. She is comparing sizes of college campuses, which is an extremely relevant topic considering we are all seniors. She starts off by admitting that the most common option nowadays when choosing what to do after high school is college. Whether the expectation has been impressed upon them after 12 arduous years or they do not know what else to do so they chose college, they want to make sure they choose the right college for them. I also like how she mentions nearly all the possible routes students can take after high school; she starts vague and gradually hones in on her topic of college.
Runia’s introductory paragraph is simply captivating. She does such a fantastic job of setting up the suspense and highlighting the major way color guard is similar to acting: they both perform in front of an audience. Runia appears to be well-educated on both aspects of performing and is able to corroborate her claims with specific examples, like color guard creeping like demons. Her use of vivid imagery truly makes her essay one you want to read to the end. Currently, she also has her essay set up in a unique way; she has one paragraph contrasting color guard and explaining the difference, another paragraph contrasting acting, and then a comparison paragraph that unites the two.
6 Beckman
Looking through some people’s essays, I find myself looking toward their structural components a lot. How they set up a sentence to make it seem like one sentence just flows to the other is something that I, myself, am striving toward. Going along with components that flow, from looking at the essays of other individuals, I know that I need to work on my transitions between my paragraphs. I have been tending to just jump into the next topic, when I know that I need to slow down and even talk about the previous subject before continuing on with the separate paragraph. I also have come to admire how many different adjectives people can fit into their essays all throughout. I think I tend to be really good at them for a period of time but then they slowly dwindle away toward the end. Varying sentence structure by having more semicolons and commas will also be something that I strive toward while completing the comparison-contrast essay.
Something I admired in Sherron’s essay is that she’s starting off with: Beauty. I think it accentuates and adds to the appeal of the essay overall. Sherron also has a direct audience when she writes because she makes it so relatable. Her essay is about how you perceive your beauty; she starts out by saying that parents often tell their children that they are beautiful, that everyone wants to emulate a celebrity, and that people just want to fit in. In my opinion, she does a fantastic job of grasping the audience and it makes them want to keep reading. The other essay that I looked at was Runia’s. She has a way with words in that they never seem dull. Adjectives are thrown around so that you feel like you’re there with her. To describe a sound, she used “click, click, click,” which tremendously adds to her personality coming through in her essay. The onomatopoeia makes it so that her essay seems to actually speak to you.
7 Else
In general, many people are using a different variety of sentences. I have noticed that some people enjoy using compound and complex sentences for the majority of the essay. Others have used too many simple sentences. I also noticed that some people are using compound-complex sentences too much for their essays. It is great to use these sentences, but one must use a variety of sentences to make an essay truly amazing. It is imperative to vary sentence length by using a majority of medium sized sentences, but also mix short, simple sentences and long, compound-complex sentences into an essay so the reader will not become bored and the essay will stand out amongst the rest.
Glancing at individual peer’s papers I have noticed that many of my classmates have used excellent vocabulary. One paper with a very large use of vocabulary would be Van Kalsbeek. Van Kalsbeek has used words from our vocab book, words that I had to learn the definition from an internet search and some words in her essay are easy, but unique words. I particularly enjoy words with the simple use such as: clatter, banal, pubescent and grandeur. Wickersham has a diverse use of grammar in his essay. I think that if I need assistance with the use of semicolons, dashes or variety in styling sentences, I may ask him for help. Wickersham’s essay is only a page long thus far, but that one page is jam-packed with some awesome uses of grammar. I also admire the topic that Jensen has decided to write about because her intro paragraph was flawlessly designed. I enjoy her use of the ellipses and dashes, but truly enjoy Jensen’s hypophora the most. Extracting bits and pieces among each paper will help me execute my essay with little mistakes. I hope that I will be able to glance at other’s papers to gain inspiration for my essay when I get the incurable case of writer’s block.
Reindl 1
When looking through my essay, I find there is much to desire when it comes to writing in different formats. I like to use a lot of the basic cut and paste forms of sentences that begin with the subject and then use a verb to help close of the sentence. Every now and then I seem to add a little twist, but I feel that I could achieve greater goals if I could become more unique in the way I write rather than the cookie-cutter sentences. Bransrud excels greatly about having his own way to both start and stop sentences. He is able to make each sentence seem different from the last, whether it be by having a prepositional phrase or starting with an infinitive. With him writing in this style, his essays have a special characteristic to them that also helps them all flow together.
Another composing strategy that I could gain from my peers is to discover and use more forms of words in my essays. I find myself using the same words over and over when it could be avoided. I miss out on eloquence and style when I use “they” or “many” too frequently that I sound like a broken record. Looking to find the key phrases and synonyms of large quantities of words would help improve the intelligence and voice of my essays. Willard is absolutely astounding when it comes to word choice. His ability to have sentences make sense while still using complex and extravagant words is purely breathtaking. His style of writing allows him to freely use any word that nobody could know the exact meaning of and still have everyone understand the overall meaning. He has a great gift to use such amazing words, and at the same time he also has flow to his sentences and his paragraphs in every essay.
7Jensen
A few composition strategies I could gain from my peers is using better sentence structure and making my whole essay flow and not being so choppy. I also need to looking in using more variety in my word choices, having more sentences starters, and all together having a better understanding how to begin with each paragraph. Something I have been struggling with is understanding when to end each paragraph, and how to separate my ideas into multiple paragraphs. I also would like to learn to get rid of the common words like “the”, “they”, “this”, and “there”. These words are just so redundant and boring. By reading my peers essay’s I have gotten a better understanding of an active voice, and how to use semicolons, colons, and commas more effectively. It also very helpful seeing how they use compound, complex, compound-complex sentences so I can comprehend how to use it in my future essay’s.
I feel like looking through my peers essay’s I can open my mind to other formats of writing essays, and I enjoy comparing them to mine so I can see the mistakes I have in my own writing.
I think that Hanson did a very good job on having intriguing paragraph transitions, and made his writing feel very natural. He clearly knows what he is writing about and it helps you better understand the difference between a powerlifter and a bodybuilder. Hanson had lots of different word choices for each sentence, and didn’t make his essay sound boring. All around his vocabulary was amazing, but you could still understand what his words meant by the context of each sentence. Else had a great start to his comparing and contrasting essay. His description in his essay was absolutely fantastic. I really enjoyed his vivid imagination and you can see that come to life on his paper. He has a great active voice and is a very good example for it.
1 Benitez
Nobody is the same when it comes to writing an essay, everyone has their own words and special way to say something. We can then compare our forms of writing and take parts from each to create a superb essay. Something I noticed from others is the great paragraph transitions. When you have good transitions everything flows a lot better, connect everything, make it less choppy, and it is especially good if these transitions are funny and memorable. Another thing that I saw was a variety of sentences structures other than the simple subject verb sentences. When you add variety you also add to how interesting your essay is. Especially when you structure a sentence a certain way to increase its emphasis. If you want to be considered as an excellent writer you need to use a wide variety of words that sound more eloquent that “stuff” or “things”.
I looked at a few people’s essays and I thought there were a lot of good ones. Someone that I thought did very well was Hanson, he had very good paragraph transitions by generally including what you were talking about last paragraph and getting right to the point about the next topic. He did a really good job on describing stuff that someone might not know about. Another person I saw that did very well was Willard. He had a great subject and has used quite a variety of sentence structures in his essay. He has used a parenthesis, dashes, and colons all of which are not common and can be difficult to include correctly. He also is good at using a variety of words. He goes beyond using “stuff” he uses words like societal and contradictory which aren’t words that are rare and no one knows. What they mean but are different enough that it keeps it interesting.
3Bowman
Each individual person contains their own unique, personal writing style. However, through collaboration, many people can perfect or advance their writing styles to a significantly higher caliber of writing. While perusing through my peers essays, I have noticed that they exhibit exceptional word choice, efficient and ethical outlines, and fantastic sentence fluency/diversity. This is one dilemma that I considerably struggle with in my writing, sentence fluency and diversity. Integrating different styles of sentences, such as compound and complex, in a successful, intriguing, and correct way proves a difficult task for me. Outlines also prove a struggle for me because I am able to organize my main ideas, but I am not able to successfully create an alluring introduction in a efficient manner. A final element that I feel my peers accomplish exceptionally well is concocting essays that fit their own personal styles and beliefs. As I wander through others essays, I hardly ever look to see who is composing it because many are able to integrate their own individual mannerisms into their essays so effortlessly that it is simply mind-boggling.
Wheeler’s essay is extremely well worded, crafted, and organized. It is easy to see that much thought and consideration has been poured into her essay. Her sentence structure is impeccable and truly captivates me as a reader. It leaves me wishing that she was much farther than only three pages! Bachman’s introduction is simply amazing. With his descriptive words and amazing imagery, it makes me feel like I am the athlete about to compete on the grid-iron. His introduction is well executed in the sense that it begins interesting, and then craftily transitions into the topic of his choice. Though not many other essays are quite as far at this time, I expect that many more will emerge with as much success in composition as these few that I have had the privilege to read.
1 Sjogren
Glancing at your classmates’ essays can really help improve your own writing. You can acquire new techniques which will make your essay stronger and more enjoyable to read. Some composition strategies I can adopt from my peers is starting sentences with other words besides the subject. I tend to start most of my sentences with “the”. Another strength I could add in my writing would be better transitions. My paragraphs need to flow together more in order to make my entire essay coherent. A third skill I have seen in my classmates’ essays is intriguing vocabulary words. Using more exciting words in my papers will help pull the readers into my essay instead of pushing them away with my bland choice of words. I could also write more complex sentences to build up my essay. Adding more complex sentences will help create variations in my sentence structure. After I put all these skills to work, my essay will be bigger and better.
After observing some essays that my class wrote, I found Headrick’s essay to be comical, but also greatly detailed. He described his classes in a way that made it easier for me to picture. The visual effects in his essay helped me understand the pencil types more and relate them to the people around me. Another essay that stood out was Willard’s. His vocabulary, choice of words, and sentence flow is absolutely amazing. Throughout his essay, he keeps you fascinated by using big words that illustrate his topic. A third essay that I read was Presler’s. Right away in her introductory paragraph, she interacted with the readers by asking questions. This helps keep the reader involved and it makes them actually think about what they are reading. Presler also did pretty well at sentence structure. She uses different sentence starters all through her essay.
6 October 2016
3 Smit
After reading through several comparison essays, I have gained an appreciation for the varying styles of sentences. Alternating styles add much needed variety to many essays, making the essay far more interesting to read. Along with variety, differing styles help the author illustrate their ideas in an easy-to-understand fashion. Other essays altered the format of certain words to add emphasis to their thought process as well as even more variety. Ms. Wheeler shared her thoughts wonderfully throughout her essay; they were well articulated and described her passion on the subject very well. The variety in which her sentences are written grabbed my attention and held me to the paper until I was done. The Keuters used italics to differentiate the title of the movies from the rest of the text. With the format change, their essays were more visually appealing than without. Ms. Sorenson’s essay held a lot of voice in her sentences. While reading, her thoughts jumped out at me as if she had been trying to tell me in person.
After about 7 weeks of class, I have come to understand the importance of sentence variety. My desire to improve as a writer has been heavily influenced by the usage of these sentence styles. I often find myself frustrated with the wording of my essays as I know they are choppy and without flow, but I had never known to many ways to improve the sentence quality. Using sentence variety will significantly “spice” up my essay, giving a more even flow of words for the reader to enjoy. Also, striving to incorporate a large vocabulary into my essay will (hopefully) improve the reader's understanding and enjoyment immensely. Among other improvements I would have made, voice is at the top of the list. I often find it difficult to portray myself accurately throughout my essays because I overthink to much and hinder my own progress.
7 Knutson
Everyone has a different style of writing and it is really helpful the different styles of essays in my own class. I believe that there is a lot that I can learn from the essays of my peers. I saw a lot of great essays and unique topics. From the essays I saw I adopted a few strategies such as how do incorporate description into my essay in order to create a clear visual of what I am trying to get across. I have been working on including this in my essay and have started to use a thesaurus to broaden my word choices. In addition to the descriptions I saw new strategies for transitions in essays, instead of the normal “the,” and “they,” instead I’m working to start my sentences with something other than my subject like what I have seen in other people’s essays. The last strategy I learned is how to better include complex, compound-complex, compound, and simple sentences into my essay. I have had a hard time and seeing examples of each type has really helped me to better my sentence complexity. I am going to take all of these strategies and apply them to my writing.
In Riley’s essay she did a really good job making her essay flow together instead of making it really choppy. She related it to the reader’s life reminding me of my own childhood which draws me in and I thought that was a very good technique. Harvison used really good word choice in her essay to make everything more descriptive and create a better visual for the reader. She also had a good voice throughout the essay. The last essay I looked at was Else’s and he had a very interesting topic I thought which really added to the uniqueness of his essay. He had great word choice and made everything flow together in a way that is appealing to the reader. Also did a great job of incorporating different types of sentences into his essay such as compound, complex, and compound-complex. Overall I think reading other people’s essays has giving me a better understanding of how I should better my writing.
1 Brandsrud
A few of the strategies I have developed from my peers include: a wider use of words, developing habits of avoiding the first person, making sentences flow better, and finding better ways to develop full thoughts. Through the help of leaving comments, and reading through their essays, I feel as though I have been able to adopt these new habits much better than if this had been an english class more similar to the ones I had taken in the past, here my own peers are helping me out and I help them out; together, we all gain a greater knowledge of how to compose a much better essay. Through looking at the essays of my peers, I have learned better of the types of sentences, where to use them, and how to recognize them. Finally, I had consistently used small words, or words that I would use repeatedly, such as the word “these”.
Reading back through some of the classification essays, I found that Reindl had many areas of strength that I had not recognized before. In Reindl’s essay, I found that he had his own voice in the essay. Knowing him personally, I found that what he had said in his classification essay would be things that he would say in day-to-day life. His essay contained humor that was easily understandable by someone who dabbles in video games like myself. I also think that Quanbeck showed strengths in his transitions from paragraph to paragraph. His transitions do an amazing job in setting the stage for not only what the paragraph is about, but also the mentality that the actors have in the process of putting on a performance. Finally, I feel as though Hoffmann did an excellent job in the classification essay of showing how to go in depth with his ideas and descriptions of each of the classifications.
1 Wrightsman
I have learned that your classmates can be just as helpful as your teacher. From just taking a few glances at other people’s work and essays, I have noticed things that I will use in this current essay or things that I can use in the future. I have picked up on things like using bigger words or coming up with better sentences. I struggle the most in my essays with using vague words and having boring and dull sentences. I think that seeing others use their words and ideas different than how I have used mine in their own essays has helped me come up with original topics and plans to talk about in mine. I can also adopt sentence structure from my peers essays. I have also seen ideas in others essays that make them more enjoyable and easy to read. I plan on bettering my essay by using tips that I have taken from my peers.
After looking at a few of my classmates essays I have noticed some things. Sjogren has a very good strategy of using different words for the beginning of each sentence which helps gives it a better flow. Using different words help define each sentence into its own. Presler uses a variety of fun and exciting words that make her essay pop and not be so bland and vague. She lets the reader know that reading essays should be invigorating and make you excited. Humor is asset that Headrick has and knows how to use well. He takes humor and transforms it into an essay to hook his readers into wanting to read the rest. If you really want to be informed and learn something, I would suggest reading Willard’s essays. He uses factual information and words it to sound very intelligent and solid.
3 Sorenson
So far this essay seems easier to write than the classification essay, but there is still a lot I can learn from my fellow peer’s writing techniques. I really liked Hicks introductory paragraph. It clearly conveys the topic of her paper and what she is juxtaposing. At the same time, it entertains the reader and really draws them into her paper. You are not entirely sure where her paper is going but you know that it is funny and that it is going to be good. It keeps you reading. I would like my intro to be as compelling and captivating as hers. Another classmate’s writing that I like is Wheeler. Her writing is at a level that I wish to reach through this class. I love how every sentence is different and has a purpose. I struggle with having a mix of purposeful, good sentences and filler fluff that takes my essays down a level. She uses a good variety of sentence structure, as well as a variety of vocabulary. I admire her work and hope to bring some of what she does to my own writing. I was also impressed by how quickly she wrote this essay. I have barely completed one page and she is close to finishing the required number of pages. Her title is also very creative. The third essay that I liked was Amy Keuter’s. She has far surpassed the number of required pages, and they are all full of good content. I liked her topic and found her introduction to be humorous. Her essay was enjoyable and fun to read. It sounded educated but the subject was not heavy, making eight pages a breeze to read. I liked the way she incorporated quotes. It fit with the flow of her essay and she put it in a place that made sense. I too hope to add quotes to my essay, and in the same way she did.
3 House
This essay has left me befuddled. I have no idea what I am going to do and it is 9 p.m. Wednesday night and I need 3 pages by Friday. I have gone through my classmate's various essay numerous times hoping one of their ideas will strike a chord within me... I'm still waiting. A few things I have noticed though is that people should play more to their suits and hopefully it will outweigh their weaknesses. Waldera has a extremely appealing intro paragraph due to the fact it is something we all can relate to and it demands your attention; he is gonna go deep into this subject, probably. Hopefully I can learn from Waldera so that my essay can mirrors his in the sense of an effortless relatable intro paragraph. Sorenson writes really well, she has a way of molding words and sentences together so that flow effortlessly form one idea to another idea. This is something I hope to improve on as I spend more time reading her essays and other people essays. I want to be able to pick up these abilities that they are good at and have them transfer over into my writings. I like Wheeler's topic due to the fact that I am a book lover and dabble in the works of art. She does a really good job on giving to areas of creation that does not always receives appropriate attention in today's society. Wheeler has a special way of viewing the world around her and she has an extraordinary talent by being able to describe and explain it in such clear details of an idea that leaves people speechless. I aspire that one day I can get to a level that my unique ideas can come across so clearly and direct that it can effect the people around me. It is now 9:18 and crunch time is upon me. I have a few inkling of ideas on what to do for my essay and maybe once more through everyone else's essay will solidify these ideas into a solid coherent thought.
1 Harvison
I have found that reading through some of my classmate’s work has forced me to improve my own writing skills. Many of my classmates chose very creative and interesting topics for their classification essay. I was very impressed with how many times they were able to use different sentence structures or more descriptive adjectives. I find myself struggling with changing up my sentences, so I have found it helpful to be able to read through others for a little inspiration. My goal for the end of the semester is to be able to add variety in the way I compose each sentence and to add more variety within my own essay. I also hope to prevent myself from using “them, they, and this” this may be a huge challenge for me because I found myself repeating these words numerous times in the classification essay and also so far in the compare-contrast essay. Hopefully as the year progress I will be able to continue to pull inspiration from my peers to make my own essays better as well as learn new writing techniques.
After looking through some essays written by my classmates I was very impressed with all of the essays I read. I found Willard to be one of the best essays out of our class. He was able to make his essay coherent while also using complex vocabulary. He was also able to make his essay interesting yet pretty accurate compared to the high school setting. I think Headrick was able to add a serious yet hilarious tone to his essay. He took a strange comparison to begin with yet turned it into a very interesting essay. I think Bowman did an excellent job of taking a topic I was not very familiar with and making it interesting and easy to understand as well as follow.
6 Reinschmidt
I feel that my peers are extremely useful tools when it comes to improving my comparison-contrast essay. It greatly benefits me to observe their strengths and weaknesses, and incorporate what they do well into my paper.
Van Kalsbeek did an exceptional job of describing the feelings that you have on your first day of freshman year, as well as describing how much it changes on the first day of senior year. She incorporates vocab words in an efficient way that improves her essay overall. She also strategically places her dashes that add imagery to her sentences and give the reader a sense of her position. I really enjoyed her simile about the lion in the serengeti; I believe it adds some humor to her paragraph.
Waltner ends his introduction strongly with captivating sentences that will definitely interest the reader. He introduces his comparisons by describing how essential each role is to each team. He also acknowledges all of the important roles when it comes to a team, including the managers and coaches -- he does not only focus on the star players.
I believe that the way Myers begins her essay (with a quote) immediately hooks the reader. She chose a quote that nearly all people can relate to: nobody yearns to relive their middle school days. She chose a very intriguing topic that a lot of people would be willing to read. She has a strong voice that makes the essay relatable for the reader, and they probably will envision their middle school days while doing so. She makes it clear that the transition will not be a smooth one, as most students already know. I like the way she used an ellipsis to begin her first body paragraph because it adds suspense for the reader to see what the paragraph will be about.
Looking through my classmates’ essays has given me a better idea of how to write and adjust my essay to be its very best.
1 Meyer
Composition strategies that I can adopt from my peers to include is limit my usage of the same words, opening a paragraph with a more distinctive sentence(s), and incorporating all four types of sentences. I have noticed in my recent essays that I rename nouns with the same word frequently, and do not realize how annoying it is to read. Also, I feel like reading others essays and noticing the way they introduce a new paragraph with their opening sentence is something I should look for and transfer to the sentences in my essay. It takes me quite a while to determine how to begin a paragraph, and I feel it disrupts my flow of composing essays. With the help of my peers’ examples, I am sure it is something I could easily improve on. Using all four types of sentences efficiently is another area I tend to lack in. Complex and compound-complex sentences are things I do not typically include an abundant amount of, but is definitely something I should include to create a more intriguing essay.
After glancing and observing essays composed by my peers, I observed specifically in Livingston’s essay, his spectacular introductory sentences in his paragraphs. He relates an area he has expertise in and creates a way to make it relatable to a reader with less knowledge on the subject. His uniqueness in his introductions are an asset I should include in my writings. Also while browsing, I came across an essay by Headrick. He included a variety of ways to describe his topic without using the same words constantly. He also inserted many different examples of types of sentences, including complex and compound-complex sentences, which I lack in my own essay. Peers can help improve essays sometimes as well as any teacher can, and viewing different types of writings and their structures is a helpful way to improve my own.
6 Etrheim
While reading through my classmates’ essays I have learned that I could work on how to start my sentences and making them flow a lot better. In my essay I usually start with “They” or “The”. It was a struggle for me in my classification essay because I would always want to start with “they”. I am hoping when composing this comparison-contrast essay I can learn from my peers to use different words to start sentences with I do not commonly use in my writing. Another thing I could learn from my peers is how to transition from paragraph to paragraph making it flow well. I struggle with thinking of transitions that fit into the certain areas I want them to. Going through my peers essays, I could tell whose it was because they were all good at making it their own with their personality showing in the essays. I hope when my peers read my essays they also see personality in mine.
Looking through my classmates’ essays and an essay I thought was well written was done by Van Kalsbeek. Van Kalsbeek did a really good job with her sentence structure and transitioning from paragraph to paragraph. Reinschmidt was another essay I found well written. I think she wrote that well because I have two older siblings and I can agree with the first three classifications. One thing she did well on was starting her sentences. Most of the time, she started her sentences different from the ones previous. She also did a good job with spreading out her vocabulary words and making them flow with her sentences. I hope to learn from both of these girls. They showed me how transition better from paragraph to paragraph, sentence structure, starting my sentences with different words, and putting in my vocabulary words and making them flow well.
7 Woodward
As I glance at a few of my peers beginning essays, I am amazed at what we all can learn from kids our own age. I have noticed my essays lack a few composition strategies: descriptive word choice, intriguing introductions, and deep analogies. As I am not a very avid reader in my busyness of life, I feel like I have not given myself much of a chance at being great at word choice, so I really need to work on descriptive, higher level thinking words while writing. My introductions are typically something I struggle with, because it is what is going to lead into my whole essay--kind of important. Sometimes I wait to write intros until after I’ve got my main paragraphs, but even then I find them to be boring and without personality. Lastly, I have a hard time thinking deep into connecting things to other things in my essay. I really need to work on strengthening analogies in my essays. Scrolling through Van Kalsbeek’s essay, I admired the varying word choice. Besides the fact that she had required vocabulary words from this year, I even recognized words from past years also. I wish to be more descriptive and really make the reader feel like they are present in any situation I describe, just as I felt like I was at a Duke basketball game while reading Van Kalsbeek’s classification essay. I learned from Headrick’s essay that the key to grabbing the reader’s attention is an interesting introduction. He used statistics and other unknown facts in his intro, which caused curiosity in my mind. Also the fact that he was comparing humans to different types of pencils seemed very odd causing me to want to read more. Talcott displayed a very profound effort when comparing pieces in chess to the AA class athletics. I aspire to have deep thinking like this in order to add depth to my essays and have more than just what is on the surface.
6 Clemenson
Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses when it comes to writing essays. For me, some strategies I could pick up from my classmates is transitioning from one paragraph to the next as well as using more active verbs in my essay. I really struggled coming up with better words than is and are which produces an uninteresting essay for the readers. In my classification essay before I edited it, I had used is, are, and be a combined one hundred times. After editing, I managed to get the number closer to forty but that is still way too redundant. Hopefully, with the help of my classmates, I can adopt habits that will enhance the quality of my essays.
A great classification essay I read was done by Headrick. He projects a voice in his essay that is easy to read and makes me want to continue. Also included in his essays is humor which can be difficult to add but Headrick seems to do so effortlessly. Both of these are things I need to work on throughout the year to make my stories more captivating for the audience. Another essay done extraordinarily well is Loosbrock’s. The way his essay flowed made it really easy to follow, but he also made new paragraph hardly noticeable. I feel my essay had obvious breaks between paragraphs, so I hope to replicate Loosbrock’s skills for future essays. Something I find extremely impressive is how he used a metaphor to get his essay a cross; not many people could have done it as well as he did. Finally, I am really impressed with the word choice used throughout Hoffmann’s essay. Words such as denizen, treacherous, relishes, and cacophony appear all throughout his essay keeping it fresh for the audience to read. Reading through he uses unique words; however, it goes virtually unnoticed because they fit in smoothly it does not feel out of place at all.
I enjoy looking at classmates' essays to get ideas for my own paper and I believe that having that capability enhances my writing and helps me get through writer's block. Some things that I would like to learn from my peers' writing is how to get more descriptive writing and how to write a better introductory paragraph. I am not very fond of my introductory paragraph because I do not believe it relates to both teenagers and toddlers very well and there is something else about it bothers me but I cannot quite place it. When I look at other students' essays, they flow very well and that is something I want to work on. Many of them use exemplary descriptive writing that captivates the reader and draws them into reading the rest of their essay, which is something I am striving for. I would also like to use stronger vocabulary that has a better sound and cadence than what I have been using.
One essay that I believe has exceptional vocabulary and description is Runia's; when I read her's, I felt what she was describing. I was drawn into her essay from the very first sentence. It is easy to tell that she is well-read in both acting and colorguard and that is what I want my essay to feel like. An essay that has very good vocabulary is written by Hoffman. He has not used any of the five required vocabulary terms but his word choice is very strong and he keeps the essay from becoming redundant. Another essay with good word choice is Else's. His paper gives off a survivalist feeling and has a mood that is akin to being lost in nature and finding mountain lion or a bear. Both Hoffman and Else have educated words and use them very well. I will continue to look at their essays and more as I write mine.
7 Bogensberger
Composition strategies that I have obtained, because of my classmates, would be better word choice, proper punctuation, and different ways to start my sentences. My main struggle throughout the classification essay was sentence starters. I was not very skillful with thinking of different words to begin my sentences but reading some of my classmates essays helped me to think of new and more exciting ways to start a majority of my sentences. Also, word choice was difficult at some points in my essay. Most of the time I use common words to describe something like: very, a lot, good, etc. So I needed some assistance with using better and more upper level descriptive words. Punctuation can be an obstacle while composing an essay. I am not the best with knowing when and where to place a comma, semicolon, dash, etc. So, I skimmed through some of my peers essays to see when and where they placed their punctuation and it helped fix some of my own. Being able to have accessibility to my classmates essays helps a ton when writing because they help me obtain the knowledge I lack.
Wickersham uses strong vocab and he really helped to add some great vocab into my essay to make it sound more upper level. Tingle does a great job placing punctuation in the correct spots of a sentence. Her sentences are usually nicely structured so she helped to fix any incorrect punctuations in my sentences throughout my essay. Else does an awesome job with adding variety throughout his essay and making it humorous. He writes very passionately about his topic and gives out ideas on what to write and how to start. Being able to have our classmates comment and critique our essays is a great way to help us improve our writing skills.
3 Casey
I would have to say that the first one that I took a glance at, which was Bachman’s, really grabbed my attention right away because of the imagery he geniusly placed at the beginning of his introduction paragraph. I love when writers do that (start in the middle of an action scene) in books, it gets me hooked every time. He also knows what he’s talking about and it is very clear, even if he doesn’t he plays it off like he does very well. It flows very well also. The second one I looked at was Hicks and I love the way she has her own scenario going in the intro paragraph, it really adds humor to her essay and brings you in while making you want more at the same time. These are both critical things to have in an essay that you want to be more than just informational, you want to have some flare to it, you do not want people starting to read your paper and decide halfway through that it’s not worth finishing because you were too boring and unimaginative. I could take a lot from either of these essays, they are obviously very talented writers. Something I could take away from their essays could be adding humor to my own or maybe adding my own imagery to my essay to make it more attention grabbing and interesting. Reading all of the different topics my peers have chosen as their essay topic has made me think that something that could really help my own writing strategy would be expanding my horizons, meeting new people, trying new things, and enlightening myself or meet someone else that can about subjects I’ve never had a chance to learn about. As far as I am concerned, I’m very inexperienced in the world it seems and more knowledge on different subjects could really help my writing process.
1 Vielmette
One thing that I have taken from one of my friend's essays would have to be Ellis' outline. When I was starting to type I finished my intro paragraph then had a ton of ideas but couldn't think of how to organize it our even define half of them. Using an outline is helping me to know what to write about and I even found out I have a little more to write about than what I initially thought. Another essay that has helped is Jeanson's essays which all have a lot of attitude and it also has personality in it. The best description I can give for it is that it almost sounds like you are hearing a regular conversation just in a different form. I have great difficulties with writing and putting a voice to the essay or things I write and they come out sounding almost scientific which is one thing I need to steer away from. Although in this essay I will have to go into a scientific format in a way to explain some differences or similarities. Hopefully by using their essays to help me improve my writing and to put more feeling or more personality into my writing. One last essay that I looked at was Hick's essay which starts off with a great intro that describes a scenario that everyone at some point in their life has come across. This adds so much personality to the essay and even connects it with the reader because who hasn't had that happen to them? These essays are great examples that work together to take a great idea and put it into words for others to read and connect with the essay or the person writing the essay.
3 Coyle
Some things that I have taken away from the essays that my peers are currently working on are things that can most definitely be used in my own essay. While glancing at A. Kueter’s essay, I could see that she is dedicated and already has most, if not all, of her essay finished at the point of needing the rough draft turned in. I also noticed that she wrote her essay in alternating format, which is the style I am currently taking with my own essay. However, in her essay, she juxtaposes both ideas in the same paragraph whereas I have written my essay in alternating formatting with each juxtaposed idea in its own paragraph. Also, I have glanced at Wheeler’s essay and have seen that she as well has done what I have done in regards to formatting the essay in an alternating formatting with separate paragraphs for each juxtaposed idea. She also has used a great style of writing that I have not yet infused into my essay which I will go do shortly. Her essay is already mostly finished where mine is not yet to three pages. I still have a lot to go, but there is plenty that I can learn from reading her essay more. Along with other essays that my peers have written so far. While looking at Braley’s essay, I see that she has not yet written anything down in paragraph form, but she has instead chosen to take the path of writing her outline first. The outline that she has created is very neat, organized and to the point, much like mine should have been as I was getting confused by my own outline. In Poole’s essay, she has a very lovely outline written out and already some paragraphs going. Her outline is not detailed but it is easy to follow and gives a clear direction of where she is going to be heading in her essay. In the little that she does have, it is clear that she is getting off to a good start to her essay but still has work to do, much like mine.
1 Top
My peers play a significant role in the writer I am today. Looking at other styles of writing helps me to create my own. I realize in doing so how many other styles there are. The methods others word sentences and place their thoughts is something I have cultured and put to use in my essays. I have struggled with not always starting a sentence with them, they, you, and so on. Learning to rearrange sentences is something I am still improving at. I love that we are able to see what our peers are composing and hopefully learn from them. Reading essays that have an eye-catching introduction is really something I strive for because it pulls the readers in and makes them want to continue reading your great work.
Vielmette set up an outline for his essay to keep him on track, which I did to some extent on the comparison essay and I could already see an improvement in my writing. Not only did it keep my essay more organized, but it kept me on track of what was to come next. I really like how Talcott uses a very interesting introduction; making me want to read the rest of the essay. I strive to be clear that I am passionate about my topic and hope the readers feel the same emotions I do throughout.
Galbavy 1
Looking at my peers essays has helped me out quite a bit. Right now my fluidity in my sentences aren’t the best even though some flow perfectly. I need to learn not to use the same words to repetitively in a sentence or paragraph because that can get annoying for a reader. I also want to work on adding more variety to my essays such as inverted sentences and deliberate fragments. Looking at other essays I noticed some interesting transitions into other paragraphs and I want to try and insert some of those ideas into my own. I also want to work on filling my five pages with sufficient information and not make my essay appear as if I were running out of ideas and typing just to fill the last few pages. I need to work on using my ideas to my full advantage and maybe for this essay make a venn diagram so that I can use the differences to carry on my essay into a deep analytical one. One of my favorite essays that I looked over was from fellow classmate and teammate Zachary Scholten(TD12). In my perspective his essay had great flow to it and it kept me reading because of how well written it was and the use of vocabulary and sentences fit perfectly. I loved his introduction paragraph because it sets up the whole essay very well and he isn’t repetitive at all with a good thesis. I really liked the idea he used, wish I would have thought of it. I also liked Wickersham’s essay because he used some good vocabulary in his essay and had great fluidity throughout the one page I read through. He also used great transitions from one paragraph to another. So looking at other essays was a great idea and should help me to better my own.
1Beck
It is very helpful to be able to go through other classmates essays so that it helps to give you some ideas of how to improve your own essay. In my own essay I know that I struggled with getting my sentences to flow smoothly from one to the next. There are many things that I can adopt from my peers to help with my own essay. Somes of the things I can adopt are using bigger and better words than I originally use, figuring out new ways to start sentences, and by being able to have an essay that is not choppy. Having the opportunities to look through other peers essay really helped me to strive for something better than my original thoughts and ideas.
Harvison has an amazing introductory paragraph which gave me something to strive for. How she was able to think of such a strong introduction is beyond me. She was able to give her readers something to think about throughout her whole essay. Presler also had an incredible introductory paragraph. In her introduction she gave us something to think about from when we were all children. By having this as her introduction people will continue to think about the fun birthdays and christmases where we got money as a gift. She also has lots of good starts to her sentences. By reading her essay I could tell that she tried not to use the same start to a sentence many times right next to each other. In reading both Harvison’s and Presler’s essay I was able to see how they made their essay flow and not be choppy. Presler comes up with many different words to use to describe her fruits that she is talking about. Most people would not think to add such descriptive words to something that everyone should know, but Presler did and I believe that it could only help to make her essay better than it was.
1Konz
Looking over other people essays, I really like how Randa Mikkelsen uses a simile of picking out clothes to picking out friends. It adds an interesting comparison while relating it to something that everyone (well, mostly girls) are extremely familiar with to increase the understanding of choosing friends that are your “style.” I would really like to incorporate some very original and unique similes into my writing. I also skimmed through Brooke Top’s essay. I really like that it has more specific examples explaining the activities of friends compared to brothers. I think these examples help make the essay seem more real and relatable for the reader instead of getting the impression of a distant essay that the writer doesn’t even relate to. I am going to try to add more personable and relatable details into my essay to make it more relatable and genuine to the reader. Another essay that I looked at was Dalton Vielmette’s juxtaposition and comparison of trees compared to logs. I really like the simplicity of the topic, it is not one that very many think about writing about, but the beginning is really impressive. Dalton chose very powerful words that makes you feel like you are really there looking at the trees and logs. Powerful word choice is something I really want to add to my essay as well. I also am very impressed by his description of the forests. Originally I thought it would be diffictult to write a five page essay just about trees and logs but he explains everything with such great detail and purpose that I do not think he will have a problem reaching the page restriction. That is one concern of mine while I started writing my essay that I will not be able to reach the five page minimum, but I now hope to use a strategie like Dalton’s to add in depth descriptions to the essay to add length while adding interest for the reader.
1 Quanbeck
Collaboration is key to writing a good essay. Whether you are looking at other essays for inspiration or peer editing, interaction with others is vital. In taking a look at a few of the other essays in my class I have found several points I like. I appreciate the humor is Headrick’s essay. I always try to throw a little humor into my essay if I can (mostly for my own amusement). Headrick is comparing people to pencils and in reference to wooden pencils says, “They are cheap but sometimes really nice ones have sayings like ‘Math is Cool’ or ‘Do Not Do Drugs!’” Another thing he did well is his use of vocab words. I found it a bit challenging to work the vocab words into my essay in a natural sounding way and Headrick did a good job of this.
Another essay I took a look at is Willard’s. Willard classified types of students in school. His essay immediately pulls you in because the topic relatable. As I read I found myself thinking about each classification and relating them to people I know and even myself. He found a topic that would be relevant to a vast majority of his readers. Most of the points still apply outside of a school setting as well. While the essay has humorous elements it also touches on more serious topics of why we act the way we do. As he wrote in reference to the Clown (who is the one always making people laugh), “The whole idea of making people laugh for attention is just a coping mechanism created to mask what emotional issues he or she has developed do to past problems.”. I admire that Willard had a well rounded essay that was both lighthearted and serious. I hope to find a place for some good old analysis of human behavior in one of my essays.
1Headrick
The strategies that I could adopt from my peers could be not procrastinating. Instead of waiting till Friday to do most of my pages, I could do a little each day and only proofread the last day or make any minor changes. I saw that some people were done with all their pages like the Monday before and not at 11:59 on Friday. I also understand that writing essays is a tougher for me since I do not enjoy writing essays. Maybe if I had a positive attitude and tricked myself into thinking I love writing, this could be a more enjoyable assignment. I could also adapt the the “big vocabulary strategy”. If you use this strategy correctly, it will enthrall the readers and make them want to read it instead of them muddling through reading my essay.
The classification essay that really shouted out to me was that of Mr. Loosbrock. His essay really enthralled me and I did not lose interest reading through his whole essay. His whole essay was very fluent and coherent. The sentence structure was grand, I felt like a was reading an essay that was written with a PH.D.. The other compare and contrast essay I was reading through was written by Mr. House. His is about the unknown future and not knowing what to write about in an essay. I find this hilarious and so true. It goes on to say all the questions that people ask high schoolers about their future life. Since most kids do not know what they are going to do, these kinds of questions really stress out the lives of these high schoolers. It also goes through all the many topics you can write about during an essay and how hard it is to choose one. You have to be able to think about how to write 5 pages about that topic. Anybody can write a one page essay about something, but it takes something special to write 5 or more pages.
1 Talcott
Though I thought my Classification essay went well there is always room for improvement. Techniques that I must get better at to become a better rounded writer. Also there are many techniques and strategies from my fellow compositionists in the class that I must employ. There were many times over the course of writing my Classification essay where my sentences and sometimes even paragraphs became murky and muddled. The thoughts were clear in my head I just was not able to effectively convey them on paper. Usually this was due to inaccuracy of punctuation, run on sentences, and plain sentence order. I feel like my use of commas, colons, and semicolons was inaccurate and it showed in the awkward flow of some sentences. I also had many run on sentences partly, I am sure, to my lack of punctuation accuracy, but more so to my lack of conciseness. My sentence order felt very awkward at times. So awkward in fact that I had to read over my previous few sentences multiple times in the essay just to affirm what I was talking about.
As previously stated there are lots of things I need to learn in order to become the best writer I can be. One of the best ways I can do that is to follow my many peers’ positive example. For improvement in the Classification essay I looked to Mr. Meyer’s composition for improvement. Mr. Meyer’s conciseness is something I especially admired in his paper and is most certainly something I can and must improve on. He was most definitely complex in his wordage and sentence structure, but when necessary he was very concise. His concise sentences were very effective and made his essay flow. I feel as if my essay would flow much better if I were to take up on this strategy of conciseness at appropriate points.
1 Mikkelsen
While reading other students’ essays I have found many strategies and aspects from theirs that I would like to incorporate into mine now. I love the sentence variety that I have seen in other essays; I think I have had good sentence variety, but after seeing other essays I think I need to work on having a better flow from sentence to sentence because I think mine can get choppy at times. Another part that I hope to incorporate into my essay is good voice. When reading other essays I sometimes find myself reading them in the voice of the student who wrote it which I think is really cool. I hope that when others read my essay essay that it seems like I wrote it and has a good enough personality to make it my own. The final element that I hope to include in this essay more than the last is overall good structure. I really want my essay to overall all make sense together and have better organization. Looking at other students’ essays has really helped me see what I can incorporate into mine.
An essay that I think was written well was Runia’s. I really like her introductory paragraph because not only was it compelling but also it seemed well planned out and had great sentence variety. Another great strength in Runia’s essay is that she starts every paragraph with a catching sentence that almost seemed like advice or a standard of driving which I thought made it interesting. Her essay overall was unique while also entertaining and it was one that hopefully can give inspiration for my essays. Another essay that I think is going to be very good although it is still in the beginning stages in Konz’s. Konz’s essay is comparing and contrasting weeds and flowers and I think this is going to be an interesting essay because we do not always think about comparing weeds and flowers. I like her introductory paragraph because it is descriptive and also gives you a good idea of what the rest of the essay is going to be about. Her first paragraph seems to include the concept of show not tell. Her essay has good variety and a great structure which I hope I can incorporate into my essay. It is great to get help for your essays from other students but sometimes the best help is seeing other examples because it lets you know what a good essay should look like while also giving you ideas for your own.
3 Braley
There is a lot that one can learn by reading through the essays of our peers. For example, I got my idea to plan out paragraphs in a bit more detail than I usually do thanks to Coyle. Before she even started writing she knew exactly what all her talking points were and how to set up the paragraphs to maximize the fluidity of the essay. So far this has been very helpful to me as I feel more confident in how my essay is laid out leading me to be happier with it overall. When I look at Poole's essay I love the artistic way she styled her sentences. She changed up the format of the introductory paragraph in order to make it less copy and paste and more her own unique ideas. If she continues this her essay will always keep her voice as the main focus as she is not afraid to break the mold of her essays. I love Hicks's use of humor in her into, I feel it really draws the reader in and I honestly want to read the rest of her essay to see if she keeps it going for the entire essays, which she really should as it would enhance the experience of the reader. One thing I know I need to work on personally is keeping on track with my writing, I have a tendency to put things off which is detrimental to my grade. What I should do is take a note from Kueter A, she already has eight pages written all done in a very polished style. She even has gone the extra mile and has four MLA citations for the extra credit and practice. I know if I do any one of these things my writing will improve dramatically which will in turn help keep my grade up and where I want it to be.
3 Decurtins
One of the many great strategies that my peers have adopted, is that of the outline. A Mr. Smit and a Ms. Poole each have done this and it seems like a very beneficial tool, so I too will use it. The outline is a useful tool in many ways, like finding a place to start for instance. I was stuck on where to even begin with my first paragraph, but after I organized my ideas in an outline I just added a few words to turn those ideas into complete sentences and complete thoughts and voila, a paragraph is formed! This is also extremely effective for adding ideas to paragraphs that have already been started, as it gives a clear organization of my thoughts within the paragraph making it easier to interject more ideas while keeping the essay consistent and chronological. A certain Ms. Wheeler employed a strategy not unlike writing found in author Cormac McCarthy’s novels. She used a deliberate run-on sentence to help emphasize how many things a writers must put together in order to construct a story. I admire Cormac McCarthy’s work so I hope I can find a good place to put this into my essay and have it flow as naturally as Ms. Wheeler wrote it. Mr. Hoffman used formating changes to provide emphasis to certain words and phrases. This gives his sentences more character and makes it more fun and easier to read. I have used this strategy before in my classification essay and it seemed to work well, so I hope to have more opportunities in this essay, though it may be difficult as this is a more formal essay than the classification essay. Ms. Meyers included a quote in her essay, in fact in her intro. I plan on using this strategy to kingdom come as my characters I’m comparing are just that, characters from a story! I will use quotes about, and from these characters’ book(s) to compare and contrast the various aspects of these very characters.
3 Roegiers
People utilize many different composition strategies when composing their essays, and I hope to adopt some of those composition strategies used by my peers. I feel as though I have taken a lot out of looking through some of my other classmates’ essays, and already find myself wanting to utilize some of their strategies. Some specific strategies that I have noticed are, colorful vocabulary, vivid imagery, flow from sentence to sentence, well thought-out comparison points, and good organization. I have struggled so far to come up with specific features of juxtaposition for my topic and I hope to begin organizing my thoughts better so I can truly begin to construct my essay. Vivid imagery is also something that most of my essays lack, so hopefully I have learned a few things from my peers and can implement that into my essay. Lastly, sentence flow is very important, and I need to work on creating more fluid transitions in my essay.
I believe that Schroder has an excellent start to her essay. In comparing and contrasting New York to South Dakota, she has created very vivid imagery by using bright and descriptive vocabulary. Her intro paragraph seems to pull me in and makes me want to read more. This is something I do not believe my essay has yet. Also, instead of just describing the differences, she uses specific examples from her experience in both states to create a fuller understanding of the comparison. Her sentence structure and flow is also very well done, the transition from sentence to sentence seems effortless and it makes the essay feel like more of a story. Overall, I hope to adopt some of these some of these strategies used by my peers in order to make my essay as intriguing as possible, and create something that people will genuinely enjoy reading.
3Bachman
Some composition strategies that I have learned from my classmates would be better sentence structure, diversifying my sentences and using punctuation better. I have learned to create sentences easily using all of the parts needed to create a proper sentence. To diversify my essay I have learned from other classmates to change things around in my sentences to help make my essay sound different. Starting a sentence with a participial phrases and out of place single modifiers have helped diversify my essay. Using grammatical strategies like interrupting modifiers and deliberate fragments can also add flair to one's essay. This year, I have learned to better use punctuation in my essays. I now know when it is appropriate to use semicolons and colons, as well as when to better use commas and apostrophes. I have only been in this class a short while but have already learned a lot about writing and grammar.
I have read Hoffman’s essays and they have shown me what good sentence structure is while still diversifying each and every sentence. He uses good vocabulary and often changes out words for better sounding synonyms. Hoffman has also used good transitions between his paragraphs in his essays. Using good transitions is key to having a fresh sounding essay and not making it seem monotonous to read. I also read Houses essay, he also used good transitions and had a good variety of sentence structure. He uses correct punctuation and grammar to show his readers that he is educated and has a good opinion on his topic. He had a good amount of information about his topic and displayed it well to his readers. House also has good points for both comparing and contrasting his topic in his essay. I will definitely try to emulate some of the ways House has made his points in his essay.
3 Roby
While browsing through my classmate’s essays I was inspired by Jeanson’s first paragraph. I like the way she told a story with vivid detail to put an image in my mind. She explains a morning before school with the cold wind blowing past you as you see a friend of yours. She then goes on to explain the difference between having friends that are boys versus friends that are girls. Writing a detailed picture of a scenario is something that I think I could add to my essay to improve it. Details create a feeling and a mental picture in your mind, which I think my essay lacks. Her idea of “gal-pals vs guy-friends” is an interesting topic as well, and I look forward to reading the finished product.
At the start of the week, when most of the class started to compose their own essays, I was at a loss for ideas. I feel that I struggle to think of ideas that I can elaborate on to create a long five page essay that also is interesting. Only just starting my essay on Wednesday, I feel that this essay will definitely be better than my last. My last essay was a struggle for me to write, I did not have many ideas to start and I felt that it was a little repetitive, but this compare and contrast essay I have been flying through. I wish to improve each of my essays so they are better than the last. My peers have amazing ideas and I believe that I can learn a lot from all of the great writers in my class. Sometimes I think my essays become boring and it seems that I am just adding useless sentences to add length, but I hope that I can compose an interesting, five page essay with the help of my classmates.
3 Barton
One of the most valuable phenomenons we possess as humans is time. Each day we are given 86,400 seconds in which we can do whatever we want, but after those seconds tick by, you can never regain them again, and here is where my dilemma arrives. I’m a procrastinator. I always have been, but hopefully I won’t always be that way, and that’s a strategy that I could adopt from my peers. Due to my unhealthy procrastination habits, I frequently find myself sacrificing hours of sleep in order to get the work I need done finished so that it arrives on its due date fully complete and well written, but there arises another problem. When I don’t do tasks until the very last minute, it puts more pressure on my writing, and my work won’t be written as well as it could’ve been had I done it earlier and given myself more time to evaluate and improve my work. If I were to do my essays bit by bit instead of cramming it all into one session, I would be able to polish my work as I go on. One reason I may procrastinate so much is because I do not look forward to writing essays. Writing has never been a strong suit of mine, but maybe if I were to have a better outlook on writing, it would diminish my procrastination.
Another composition strength I found in a few essays was the ability to flow from paragraph to paragraph. I found this to be evident in the classification essay of Mr. Quanbeck. For example, at the end of one of his paragraphs he left off by saying, “The stress level overall is quite low and everyone is having a good time.” He then goes on to the next paragraph, and he starts it off by saying, “Good times are transient in nature, and moving further along the production timeline we begin to see the Strained.” Mr. Quanbeck is able to seamlessly merge two paragraphs together, and that is something from which I could learn.
3Woessner
I feel that I can learn many new composition strategies and techniques from my peers. Reading others’ essays allows me to develop more ideas and tactics to improve my composition. Some strategies I could adopt involve how to better my thesis statement, improve transition words to make the sentences and paragraphs flow seamlessly, and how to better use punctuation to add emphasis and thought through items like the semicolon and dashes. I found that using a substantial amount of adjectives and adverbs is a good way to increase the enjoyment aspect of your essay while also increasing the length. Another technique I could improve on is consistently writing with detail and enthusiasm about my topic. A way I could improve this is by writing my essays over time instead of just in a few days. This also causes stress and anxiety, so procrastination is something everyone should try to stay away from.
After reading Bachman’s essay I learned how to better my introduction by using a plethora of different adjectives and adverbs to intrigue the reader to indulge in the analyzation of that specific topic. In order to keep the reader interested and entertained throughout the essay, one must have some sort of humor or relatable content. House does a spectacular job in this aspect. The humor and relatability throughout House’s introductory paragraph compels me to read through the rest of his essay. This is a very effective strategy, and I could benefit greatly by transferring this technique into my composition. Waldera does a great job at smoothly transitioning through paragraphs. He does this by using correct transition words and connecting his next topic back to the previous in a way that makes the transition seem non-existent. Waldera also transitions well through his individual sentences by elaborating on a specific thought and not moving to the next without completely finishing said thought.
3 Olthoff
In order to skillfully learn new writing strategies from my peers, I read through some of their wonderfully crafted essays. In doing so, I discovered that a major fault of my writing style is that I begin too many sentences with the banal words “they” and “the.” This makes my essays sound boring and choppy. In order to fix this, I will try to stop using these words as sentence starters altogether. Another shortcoming I repeatedly noticed in writing my comparison and contrasting essay is that I often have points on which I do not elaborate. This makes me start spewing out points with no supporting details, which makes it sound about as intriguing as reading a shopping list. This also required me to come up with more ideas as I struggled to fill the length requirement. Another thing that I could do to meet the length requirement in a skillful and intentional way would be to add more descriptive words, which will serve the dual purpose of spicing up my essay and making it easier to read.
A good tactic I picked up to further advance my writing dexterity is to use more examples through either hypothetical situations or things that have actually occurred. Anders Barton is a person who I noticed did this with particular clout in his well written classification essay pertaining to fantasy football. His thrilling essay included extremely thoughtful examples of what may happen when navigating through an unpredictable fantasy football season. One of his best examples was when he used a metaphor comparing the season to a king going into battle. He said that the players on your fantasy team are your army charging into battle against your opponents team. He compares the hours of research that comes with a successful team to months of training to be battle ready. I think that inserting this into his essay was brilliant.
3Wheeler
One organization skill I can adopt from my peers is transitions. I am rather bad at transitioning from one paragraph to the next, and I need help with that. I also have a tendency to repeat myself in my essays, because I never know when to quit typing and move on. I end up saying the same thing three different times in my effort to end a paragraph, which is not an ideal way to write an essay. I apparently like to be redundant, and am probably doing that right now as well. I also have a hard time varying the starts to my sentences. I often use “this is because…” or “they are…” in my writing, which I know I should be trying to avoid. However, I do like my own way of setting up my comparisons, so while I will look at other methods, I probably won’t make any major changes to the overall layout. I find that making major changes to my writing is usually counter productive.
Hoffmann has a nice way of transitioning from paragraph to paragraph, and I might try to use the same sort of strategy. The paragraphs flow into another nicely, and are much less choppy than mine. Reindl has a lot of nice sentence variation, which is another thing I’ll attempt to incorporate in my essay. There were a lot of really well-written essays that I saw while looking, and I find it very helpful to be able to look through them. Not only because I can help myself, but because sometimes when I’m stuck writing something, I’ll try to find similar things to read until my brain kicks back into gear, which can take a while. Overall, I think a lot of people write really nicely, and I hope I can get my writing on the same level.
6Holter
When comparing my classification essay to my peers essay, I noticed that there is always room for improvement. I originally thought my essay was great, but as I read others essays, my essay is only average. I could use improvement in various thing, but the major things I noticed I could improve on are: sentence structure, creative word choice, and using different types of transitions between sentences and paragraphs. From reading other students essay, I hope to learn and understand more about different types of sentences. While writing my classification essay, I struggled with writing and labeling the final ten exam terms, but as I was reading other students essays I started to understand them more. When we label the sentences and put what type of sentence they are in the comments, it is tremendously helpful to other classmates. I think reading other peers essay’s will better my writing, because it will help realize my mistakes in my writing and make myself a better writer for the future.
As I was reading through other students essays, there were two that stood out to me. One of the essays I read, Livingston E., classified different types of band members. Throughout her entire essay she kept the reader hooked and intrigued. The way she worded things throughout her essay made reading it more enjoyable and entertaining. In addition to having excellent word choice and creative writing style, she chose a topic that not a lot of people know about. Even though I am not in band, she went into depth about band and the types of people in band, and it gave me a clearer idea of what band really is. Another impressive essay I read was Riley’s essay in period seven. Riley wrote and classified the types of drivers there are in todays world. Her essay was very entertaining and interesting. Throughout her essay, she used a wide variety of transitions, which made her essay have fluidity to it. I think after reading other peers essay I will be able to use better sentence structure, creative word choice, and use better transitions throughout my essay.
6 Waltner
There are many strategies I could adopt from my peers, as they are extremely smart intellectual people who compose their essays on a daily basis. One thing that I struggle with, and could learn from my peers, is the transitioning from paragraph to paragraph. When composing my essay I seem to find trouble when advancing to my next paragraph. It is difficult for me to smoothly transition to the next without abruptly changing the subject. I understand the purpose of a new paragraph is because it is a new idea, but I would like to have smooth transitions to make my writing easier to read. Reading through Grode’s essay I found his transitions to be very swift and intriguing, all leading you into the paragraph nicely. Another strategy I could adopt from my peers is varying the way I start my sentences. This is very important as it really shows you what you are doing when composing. Woodward did a very nice job with this concept of differing her sentence structure as every sentence was unique. You could tell she took the time to style her sentences, and switching up the way she began each one, making her writing sound much smoother and easier to read. Van Kalsbeek taught me the use of vocabulary words help create an overall better essay. Not only did she have the words that were required from our vocabulary book, but she had some from past vocabulary books from previous years. She incorporated intricate words that she has built up from her high school career, which is very impressive. Not only is she trying to reach a requirement, but using other intelligent words to make her write at a much higher level. In the end, reading through my classmates essays there are many strategies I can learn from them to enhance my writing ability.
6 Thompson
The composition strategies I can adopt from my peers are using a variety of words, using better sentence structure, making sentences sound more formal, and adding more emotion into the essay. I struggle with using different words for words, such as they and the, that get repeated multiple times in my essay. I also need to use better sentence structure. I tend to use many dependent clauses and compound sentences, so to improve my writing I need to use more compound-complex and complex sentences. I also need to organize my sentences so they sound more formal. Finally, I need to put more emotion into my writing. My classification essay lacked emotion that I wish I would have added. I could have added more emotion to how I felt about each manager so that the reader could also find the emotions that they have towards the manager. So in my comparison essay, I will try to add emotion so the reader feels the excitement and the fear for the freshman and excitement and sadness for the seniors. I can learn how to improve all of these struggles by reading and analyzing my classmates essays and comparing them to mine.
I felt that a Hokenstad had a well written classification essay. Her essay was formal and something I can learn from. She did a good job with having me feel her emotion and attitude towards the different types of people and also her comparison to how they are like different beverages was well done. She also was a good example of using the different sentence structures throughout the essay than trying to fit it in and change sentences to get them in at the end. Runia did a great job adding humor to her essay. I thought many parts of her essay were very comical and relatable to what I think drivers are like. She also does a good job with sentence structure and making her essay sound formal, yet comical at the same time. She also used different words than the normal words you always hear and is something I need to learn from. These two essay are just some of the essay I found to be good examples for me to learn from for my future essays.
6 Runia
While my essays contain some strengths, I also know that they contain many weaknesses. I wish to fortify those shortcomings, and one way to do so is through my peers. By reading through their essays, I am able to glean their strong composition strategies and adopt them to improve my own writing. One weakness I have identified in my essays is a lack of creativity, humor, and sarcasm. My writing does not contain original analogies. Neither is it comedic nor mordant. I find that my writing is formal and somewhat bland. I hope to improve on this throughout the course of this class. I believe that viewing the writing of Hicks can assist me in this endeavor. Hicks’s essays abound in creativity. In her essays, she integrates humor and sarcasm superbly. One of my favorite examples of this can be found in the introduction of her Comparison-Contrast essay. She creates an elaborate run-on to emphasize her point about the similarities between teenagers and toddlers. The run-on itself demonstrates creativity and uniqueness on her part, but the wording and the meaning of the run-on exemplify these qualities even more so. Wheeler’s Comparison-Contrast essay also contains profound creativity. I admire her topic overall because of its ingenuity. In addition, Wheeler displays great innovation in the unusual view she takes on her topic and in the way she explains her view. Wheeler’s essay does not incorporate as much humor or sarcasm as Hicks’s does, but Wheeler makes up for it in creativity. Thus, I hope to adopt some of Hicks’s and Wheeler’s creativity, humor, and sarcasm, and I hope to incorporate these features into my own essays.
Additionally, I feel I have some weakness in my sentence variety and my word choice. Shoring up these weaknesses will diminish the number of rough and disjointed areas in my essays. Most of all, I think I need to work on avoiding boring expletives. I use the expletive “it is” often, so I need to reduce the number of times I use it or eschew it completely. Also, I tend to reuse the same words over and over again because I lack diversity and ingenuity in my word selection. Sherron provides a great example for me to follow in order to remedy this. In her Comparison-Contrast essay, she uses extremely sophisticated wording. Her varying sentence structure also gives her essay an incomparable flow. As a result, her work is pleasing to read. Hokenstad illustrates impressive flow in her Comparison-Contrast essay, as well. She effectively avoids repetitive wording. Intriguing and idiosyncratic words are abundant in her essay. One of the most striking examples of this is her use of medical terms within her introduction. Therefore, I wish to adopt some of Sherron’s and Hokenstad’s captivating sentence variety and unique word choice into my own essay. Incorporating all of these different composition strategies, which my peers employ so well, will shore up weaknesses in my essays.
6 Steffel
Many things that my peers are doing that I can learn from is writing a clear cohesive essay. This would include their paragraph transitions, thesis reflections, word choice, and conclusion. While reading the essays of my peers many things that I do not do well stand out in their writing and it is a great way to learn what I can do to improve on the skills that I lack. There are also cases where I can see what a peer has done and try to mimic that in my writing to gain and use a new writing skill. All the contrast in others writings can come together to form one large cohesive essay with multiple textures in form.
Corcoran is one of my favorite writers within the school to read not only because of his large vocabulary and interesting perspectives but also because of his unique writing style. He reminds me so much of the authors who have just recently gone but which works remain entirely pertinent, whose styles which also I have tried so religiously to acquire. While reading Corcoran's essays I do aspire to use the certain tangs and flairs that he so effortlessly introduces. After editing one of his essays I had even commented that the way he had written his opening paragraph reminded me so much of F. Scott Fitzgerald's final two paragraphs in the Great Gatsby an eloquent flow between words and ideas that stuck to you while you proceeded to read the essay. This type of writing allows a reader to keep in mind all that he has read while pursuing through the rest of the writing, not because it's easier to understand but because it is a pleasure to reiterate and consume. Comparable to biting into a rich moist hot chocolate cake coated in darch chocolate mousse frosting only to dream and crave to take that bite again but be reminded of it while you continue to eat the rest of the cake.
6 Baldridge
There are many things to learn by reading the essay of my peers. A big thing that I noticed while reading them is that I should use more sophisticated words. I saw a lot of words that I did not already know and that I had to look up to see what it meant. I would like to have those types of words in my essay and have other be able to learn the same way I did in that aspect. It is also very important to start my sentences with a variety of words rather than just using “This”, “They”, or “The” every single time. I did my best to do this with my last essay, but I would like to be even better for this one. I would also like to improve in the flowing of my sentences. A lot of these essays had very solid transitions between paragraphs and sentences. The use of the of the final exam terms is another thing that stood out because I do not have a lot of those in my writing, but I need to have some.
While all the essay helped a lot, I think that one that helped the most is Tingle’s. Her word structure was absolutely stellar. She used a very good vocabulary in her writing without looking like she was trying to hard. Tingle also had facts that prove that she knows what she is talking about. Campbell was another very good essay to read. The title of her essay was clever, yet clear. You can tell that she is passionate about what she is writing about. I also really enjoyed the way she concluded her paragraphs. This leads to a good transition into the next paragraph so it is easy to stay on track and not lose yourself. I hope to use all of these helpful tips into my writing and be as successful as they are in my essay.
6 Loosbrock
My composition skills are sufficient at best, observing the work of others will help me to improve my essays and extend my realm of compositional knowledge. Johnke does an amazing job of starting off an essay and commanding a reader's attention. In his comparison-contrast essay, he starts of by stating the importance of poultry and how they are a “quintessential part of life”. He manages to emphasize the role of poultry and makes them seem much more important than they truly are. His word choice is also splendid as he uses words like “hubbub” and “iridescent”. Johnke does a phenomenal job at adjectival word choice. Sherron splendidly writes metaphors; at one point, she wrote that the news would “spread like California wildfire”. This makes a brilliant connection to a real life event that many people hear about on the news. Hanson uses complex word choice that can be very technical in nature. His word choice shows an understanding of the topic and our language as a whole. He uses words like “saturated”, “diametric”, and “connotation”. It is clear that he writes on a topic that he is very passionate about and has a deep understanding of. Quanbeck uses a humour that is personalized to him. In his opening paragraph, he uses short, abrupt sentences to convey sarcasm and a sense of wonder at the world. Quanbeck picked a very interesting topic for his comparison-contrast essay by choosing to juxtapose incarceration to not being able to use your phone. House does a fantastic job of stylizing his essay to be less formal while still connecting incredibly well. His inception-esque approach to the comparison-contrast essay is unique and highly entertaining. His short sentences and conversation-esque style is a welcome change and captures the attention of a reader. Overviewing the work of others enabled me to add to my style and make my writing more versatile by utilizing varying techniques.
7 Christie
By reading the papers of my peers I have learned that transition words are a must. by using transition words my essay is very lively and really flows with the reader. they really help my essay role of the tongue and makes it easier for the reader to follow along with what Im trying to convey to them. Some other pieces of essays I've picked up is the use of sophisticated words. words that you wouldn't use in every day conversations but are defiantly a necessity in my writing. I try and use bigger words to describe aspects of my essay but not to big that the reader would need to have a dictionary nearby to look up every other word that I have. I want to improve on my writers block which i mainly think is from lack of focus. i need to hone in on my writing ability so that i can complete my essay.
One of the better essays I've read through is Elses'. his essays always keep me engaged and entertained while i read them. His essays are my go to when i need inspiration or just simply dont know how to word something creatively. Elses' essay has good vocabulary and great sentence structure, his titles are clever and immediately grab my attention. He really transitions well into his next topics and for the most part the flow of the essay is very easy to keep up with. I hope that my essay will be like this by using all the tips and ideas presented to me through all the works I've read through.
6 Lindemann
As I stated in my classification essay, one can learn a lot about themselves by analyzing the writing of others. I think that observing the different ways that people compose, and then comparing it to their personality, can help add flair and originality to writing that may otherwise be dry and trite. Reading the essays of my classmates helped me identify if i was overusing words in my own writing, or if i was improperly using a grammatical device. It also helped me critique my writing because i looked at essays of people whose writing I admire (mainly Wheeler, Huska, and Hicks) and figure out how to make my own writing similar in quality. Wheeler’s ability to produce endless content about a topic is incredibly impressive and mildly terrifying. Huska has a unique talent for ranting in a professional manner without rambling, especially when she is passionate about a subject. Hicks includes humor and simplicity to make her writing relatable and easy to read. All of these writers are gifted with excellent compositional skills, and they all provide interesting readings that flow well and make sense. Wheeler has taught me a lot in a very short amount of time about how to use grammar well and how to find different sentence structures in my own writing that help stories flow more easily from one to another. Wheeler also provides an excellent model for the phrase “going above and beyond”; their writing is never anything short of astounding in both length and content. I hope that doing a photo essay will allow me to tell a story in a way that requires fewer gerunds and participles, however. Reading and rereading and helping to comment on other essays is a great learning tool. Hopefully over the course of the year, we will all become better writers because of our experience critiquing and writing essays.
6 Campbell
All of my peers are excellent writers and I truly admire their writing skills and habits. My biggest fault in my writing is knowing what to say but not being able to put those thoughts into words and have it make sense. I desire the ability to know just what to write and not have to think about the wording before I begin. Another thing I struggle with is using contractions and double spacing. I know they are simply formatting issues, but if I did them correctly to begin with I wouldn’t have to go back and change them every time. I am now more aware of the fact that I consistently do that and I am beginning to catch myself when I try to make something a contraction or I use a double space.
I think Hokenstad does an excellent job of showcasing the ability of putting her thoughts into words effortlessly. Her words show great intellect and make sense. Sometimes it's hard to incorporate bigger, more interesting words because some people don't know how to use them correctly. Hokenstad doesn't seem to have that problem and it really shows how great of a writer she is. Also, I really enjoy reading Johnke’s essays because he does a fantastic job of using adjectives that add so much more to the essay. The details he adds allows people to see what he is talking about, and see it vividly. His essays are also very unique and you can tell that the topics are important to him. I think it is very interesting to see the different topics people choose because it shows you what their interests are and what they are passionate about. The topics also show a bit of their personality and make the essays more personal. For me, this is what makes the essays fun and interesting to read.
7 Mork
Just like personality, writing is unique to each person; however, different skills in writing can be used by all. After reading through many different classmates classification writing I can come to the conclusion that there are multiple things that I can improve upon. Writing skills that I would like to improve upon include using more descriptive and intelligent words, being more creative, creating a better variety of sentence beginnings, and thinking of more analogies to include in my writing. With knowledge of these writing skills I would like to improve upon I can go into the next essay of comparing and contrasting with them in mind.
I am sadly having a tough time deciding what I would like to write my compare and contrast essay on. I have a multitude of ideas, but none seem to be the perfect one. Looking through other classmates ideas and beginnings I can see a variety of different, unique, and intriguing topics. Meyer is doing one of the ideas that I was also thinking of doing. I however do not think I would have come up with a title as creative as his. Meyer has used very good and descriptive words in his introduction paragraph. Assuming that where he has stopped typing is the end of his introductory paragraph I think that his last sentence is great and makes me await to see what he will provide next. The intro paragraph was written in a great way to capture my--the readers--attention. I also think that Headrick has presented some good writing skills. His opening sentence is very true to him and shows his character. It is humorous and also grabs my attention. Sjogren had a unique way of introducing the topics at which she will compare and contrast her jeans and sweatpants by making mention to a three point scale of ranking. It is creative and well done. I also think that she so far has done a good job at starting her sentences off in many different ways.
7 Livingston E
When I read through the essays from some of the other classes, I noticed several things that I can do to improve my writing. Some of the composition strategies that I can adopt from my peers are: not starting a sentence with the subject all the time, using different words to start sentences other than “they” and “the” and making sure that the paragraphs and the whole essay flow well. I think that looking through some other essays really helps give you ideas on how to be more creative and fluent with your writing. I struggle with starting my sentences with anything other than simple subjects like them, they, he, she, etc. When I looked at other people’s essays, I noticed that a lot of them made sure that all of their sentences started with something creative. I also struggle with coming up with topic ideas for essays because I look too deep into it, and looking at some of my classmates’ essays showed me that a 5 page essay can be written on something simple.
One of the essays that stood out to me was Bowman’s. I liked how he started his essay with the definition of the thing that he was writing about, and it made me very interested to read the rest of his essay. He also did an excellent job of starting his sentences with prepositional phrases, which made the essay more interesting. He also did a good job on adding descriptive words that allow the reader to imagine what he is writing about. Bowman started his first paragraph by describing what that paragraph will be about, and I think that is a good writing technique that I should learn to make my essays easier to read. By looking at just the very beginnings of one person’s essay, I can tell that there are many things that I can improve on.
7 Munson
After reading a few essays from my classmates I have surmised that there are several things which many of them do better than I do. I struggle to have a lot of variety in my word choices and so many of my sentences and paragraphs may sound slightly repetitive, perhaps not in what is said but in how it is said. I also have a hard time starting paragraphs. In my comparison-contrast essay I have an idea, and a few differences that I would like to write about, but I am struggling to start my introductory paragraph. I have looked at a couple essays that others have written to try and get ideas, but the ways that they have started theirs do not seem right for my paper, or I can not figure out a way to adapt it to my idea. Something I do that I believe may break the paper up and make it flow a little less well is I wait till I have finished the paper to add things like vocab words and final exam terms. I think this probably makes it seem like some sentences are randomly thrown in and are out of place.
Looking at Jensen’s essay has helped me because I can see how she has already worked out how to add in vocab and final exam terms naturally, she has already planned out how to add them in and thus the essay flows well. I’ve read both of her essays and though neither was about a topic I was particularly interested in, they were both easy to read instead of being a chore to get through like I had expected. I think that is a testament to how well she chose her words and was able to make it interesting for anyone.
7LivingstonP
Writing, like many other things, requires observation for improvement. “Watch and learn” is a saying that is more true than one might think. If you want to get better at something watch what people (especially the ones who you strive to be like) do to be successful. Some examples of things in writing I know I can approve on is not using the same sentence structure over and over as this can get boring and repetitive. Another thing I catch myself doing is overusing the same word in my essay when I could use synonyms to help it look and sound better. After reading my classmates work I think I will get some good ideas on how to avoid these things.
My classmates are very talented and well versed an example of this is in Meyer’s composition of comparing and contrasting, Grass Stains or Dirt Scrapes: Juxtaposing Outfielders from Infielders, He really did a good job of adding detail that makes the reader stay attentive. My favorite example of this is when he said,”...these hittable spheres known as baseballs” instead of just saying baseball. In my opinion it also makes him sound more intelligent. Meyer also does a good job of referencing other things that are not directly about his main topic but add to the understanding of it. In the same read as the “hittable spheres” he mentioned how in basketball, your position might be mainly based on height when in baseball that is not the case at all. The main point in the article is comparing how infielders and outfielders are different, but he tied basketball in. Doing this so people who are a fans of basketball and understand the game will know positioning in baseball is nothing like it is in basketball. Meyer also put it strategically in the beginning of the second paragraph so basketball fans get that idea out of their head. Meyer is a very talented writer and one may strive to be like him. To do this they need to read and understand why Meyer does what he does and the purpose behind it.
7Dybdahl
There are many strategies that I can adopt from my peers. I sometimes struggle with things while composing. To help myself come up with ideas to write about, I glance at my peers essays. I have strengths and weaknesses in my essays, and I can learn a lot from my peers. A specific strategy that I have learn from my peers is how they start their introduction paragraph. I think that is a very important sentence in an essay because it is what the reader is first reading. I believe that it makes them want to either continue to fully read your essay, or just glance over. Another strategy that helps me is by looking at my peers sentence structure. An essay is more fluent when it is not continuously starting with “the” or “they”. Adding humor and personality into an essay is very important. That is something that I try to adopt to make my essay more enjoyable. I have tried to include as much exciting vocabulary into my essay as possible. I try to use unique words that will create vivid details in my essay. Many of my peers have excellent vocabulary in their essays. For example, Runia uses so much detail in her essays that it makes me feel like I am a part of what she is writing about. She is very descriptive and it gives me chills, in a good way. She uses variety when writing her sentences and that makes her essay even more enjoyable. While going through my peers classification essays, KueterM’s stuck out to me. She did a great job at not adding in unneeded sentences to her essay and used good transitions when starting a new paragraph. This made her essay flow very well and easy to read. All of my peers have strengths when writing their essays and looking through their them has helped me in many ways.
7 Broekemeier
The very strong, analytical tone in Ms. Jensen's essay makes me feel much more involved in the work, almost demanding my attention with its strong tone. Also, the initial examples in the opening paragraph of the essay was a very intriguing and interesting way to begin in my opinion, very captivating (like the rest of the essay) and thought provoking. The use of direct quotes in her essay gives much more sway to what she’s talking about, providing a powerful persuasive undertone to what is expected to be a simple comparison-contrast piece. In Ms. Huska’s work, the final sentence she has presented (at the time of this posting) about how she analyzes and explains J.K. Rowling’s quote I thought was an admirable technique, and one I plan to apply into my own essay, should I begin at some point in the near future. And altough I won’t be directly adopting the strategy, I did appreciate the way she compared direct characters. I found this a very original route to follow, or at the least one I wouldn’t have thought of for myself. Of course, it is nearly impossible to apply other’s techniques to my paper, and still come up with a totally original work, but anymore it is impossible to have a completely original piece, and the aid of my peers is much appreciated in the struggle that is essay-writing.
7 Wickersham
I looked at Grode’s essay and it is a topic that is very similar to mine. I am juxtaposing offense and defense, but he is looking at it in a much smaller, microscopic point of view and juxtaposing wide receiver and cornerback. I really like how he is not just comparing them on the field, but also showing the hard work that is required in the offseason to be successful. It is something I may incorporate into my own essay as well because it offers a nice little twist into the essay. I also like how Grode starts by saying the physical attributes that are needed in order to be a successful receiver (great body control, good hands, physical), but then uses a juxtaposition to describe ways that a cornerback can stop him (quick breaks, playing ball in the air, being equally as physical). It’s not just comparing the two, it is saying the strengths and weaknesses of each position and what each position uses to try and gain an advantage over the other. He is writing his essay as if it is a true battle within his essay, not just a battle on the field and it is something I am trying to do with my writing as well. I want the reader not to just be reading about the vigorous battle that goes on during a game--I want them to feel it. I want them to not just look at football as a game, but as a passion that many have. I believe Grode has that in his essay right now and I want that same mood to be present in my essay. I want the reader to go to games with a new perspective on the sport and can watch each side of the ball with a new outlook. They, I hope, will not just watch boys bump against one another, but see a battle happening on the gridiron. Grode shows that battle very well between the two positions, and I hope my essay shows the battle that goes on (both mentally and physically) during a football game.
6 Berg
In order to gain a better understanding of certain strategies of writing, and maybe even be exposed to new approaches that may be a better style for your specific essay, you must be open to reading other works, and learning from your fellow writers, peers, or alternative examples placed as strong precedents before you. From my time examining several of my classmates’ essays, I have seen many strong strategies and methods of writing the Comparison-Contrast essay, and through these, I have become even more familiar with some of my own weaknesses in the writing process. For example, I noticed I have a difficult time varying the structure of my sentences, in order to create a more interesting paper for others to read and digest. I perceived that both both Runia and Sherron exhibited a strong ability of sentence variations in their papers. Nearly every sentence they wrote started off in a unique and creative way, allowing for alterations of sentences and the way they flowed together. Also, I noticed extremely incredible vocabulary in both papers, virtually impeccable, that allows them to have sophisticated papers. Through reading my peers’ works, I’ve further come to realize that another one of my weaknesses in composition is the introduction, and effectively grabbing the reader's attention to keep throughout the rest of the paper. However, my mind became engrossed while reading the admirable opening statements found in Runia’s introductory paragraph. Her beginning passage captivates the reader’s thoughts, and continues to propel them into the rest of the essay, and I hope to strengthen my introduction to become as engrossing as the ones I have found in the essays of my classmates, such as Runia. Another essay I find as a great example is Campbell’s. Beginning with a clear yet witty title, she manages to tell how every medical profession is working for a common goal, just in varying ways. I hope to teach any reader of my essay how each topic is unique, yet both are similar in many ways, as Campbell does.
7Tingle
Some Composition strategies I took from my peers was to use a variety of sentence structure, vocabulary, and just overall creativity to make their essay unique to others. When I compose essays, I have the tendency to follow a similar format to other essay examples, rather than creating my own outline because when it comes to writing for me, I have the creativity of a rock. When I start an essay, I like to write my introduction with a similar arrangement to compared to other essays, and the same with my conclusion as well. I definitely struggle with putting my creativity on paper in a way that flows nicely without sounding random or sporadic. I want to try incorporating more comparisons in my essay to give my topics a more vivid description, rather than just saying “They look like…(insert adjective(s) here)”. I tend to always use compound sentences, and I am trying to embrace using simple, compound-complex, and even fragments in my essay to give it a nice flow and and diversity.
A lot of the essays I looked over had a sense of originality to them that I really enjoyed. I really liked Livingston’s (Erin) classification essay. Instead of just doing one paragraph per topic, she wrote numerous paragraphs about each topic, which made the essay seem shorter and easier to read. She included a variety of sentence lengths that ranged from compound-complex sentences to simple sentences. This really gave the essay a nice flow to it without sounding irregular. I really enjoyed Else’s essay; He added in some humor about some of the topics he wrote about, which gave the essay a nice light-hearted feel to it. It was a very entertaining essay to read. He really did a nice job with started his sentences differently.
6 Hokenstad
After reading through essays written by my peers I have realized that I can improve on sentence structure variety. Hicks does very well with this aspect, and also adds impeccable humor throughout her essay to captivate the reader. I am thoroughly impressed by this and hope to add a little humor into my essay. I am also impressed by the word choice and writing style in Wheeler’s essay. She writes in a way that makes her points easy to understand while still using consistently wonderful writing skills throughout her essay. Amazing is the amount of content she was able to generate in such a short amount of time. Though Broekmeier’s essay is less than one page, I really enjoy how he begins with multiple questions pertaining to his topic to get his reader thinking. I hope to add a few questions such as these into my essay to add allure for the reader. Runia’s essay is filled with imagery from the moment you begin reading. I enjoy how she is writing almost narratively in the first paragraph and then moves on to further explain the two. She also uses great word choice and sentence structure that is rich in variety. Her use of the final exam terms are impeccable as well, while still making the writing flow and seem completely natural. I think adding passages that are written like Runia’s to my essay would make it more interesting to the reader and evoke further questioning from the reader as well. I think reading the essays’ of my classmates really helped me to think of new ideas to add to my own composition to make it exciting and colorful. I plan to work on expanding my essay in terms of length as well as with varied structure, word choice, and greater juxtaposition of different aspect of each topic. While writing this blog task I have thought of many other ideas that I will be able to incorporate into my essay.
Singh 7
A lot of people used different strategies and techniques to add uniqueness and originality to their essay. I usually struggle at making good transitions and having my essay be very coherent. Some strategies that I could pick up on from peers is vocabulary usage. Using better adjectives and nouns I noticed really made the essay a lot better. Using different sentence types and transitions really adds a nice element of variation to the essay. I feel having a good variation in my essay adds a sense of uniqueness to the essay. A lot of people I noticed used different methods for transitions and sentence types. Doing this makes your essay flow nicely. It also makes your audience more engaged in your essay. One strategy I use is to always have a thesaurus open and try to replace boring words with more interesting ones. I thought Hansen did a nice job of including diverse words and phrases. I was a lot more interested in his essay because of his good sentence structure and his interesting word usage to make his essay more fun. He also had had good transitions and his whole essay was very to the point. I thought this made his essay flow well and created a sense of continuity. I really felt like he new his topic well and he used good detail to describe his topic. I thought this was a good topic for him because he knew the topic very well. This made his essay unique to him and added a sense of originality. I also had trouble including all of the terms and Hansen incorporated them very well. Willard’s had sense of humor and very good originality. I liked his vocabulary and sentence structure. These are some techniques that I would like to add to my future essay.
6 Forster
When composing an essay, it is important to be able to learn from your peers and adopt strategies that have been effective in their writing. Without the ability to learn from others, one will fail to grow in their own skills. While working on my own essay, I have taken the time to peruse through many of my peers’ essays and taken note of elements that I should make sure to include in my own essay. Composition strategies that I can adopt from my peers include adding sentence variety, such as beginning with varied word choice more often and incorporating more complex sentence structures in my essay. Also, I can add more intense imagery and descriptive words to better connect to the reader, and make my introduction paragraph more interesting to catch the attention of the reader.
Through reading the comparison essays of my classmates, I observed that Runia’s essay was extremely descriptive and was full of imagery. She effectively uses personifications, such as “their hearts hammered inside their chests”. This improves her essay, and I hope to use more of these methods in my own essay. Additionally, I enjoyed Kluin’s title and how it used alliterations to catch the reader’s attention. This made me ponder whether to add this element into my essay. Along with an interesting title, Kluin varies sentence structure. Her sentences begin with prepositional phrases, introductory appositives, and are even sometimes worded as questions. I hope to add more sentence structure variety to my essay like she has. Lastly, while reading Campbell’s essay I enjoyed how she wrote on a relevant subject, and more than just that, made it easily applicable to the reader. This essay fully explains the differences between two crucial healthcare careers, physicians and pharmacists, which is useful to anyone. I hope to write in this same way so that my comparison methods will assist in better understanding.
1 Powell
While looking through my peers pieces, I can’t help but notice the incredible voice other authors can put into their writing. My pieces, however, are the antithesis of voice; I use tenacious analytical techniques through all my work, incorporating varying sentence structure, vocabulary, and even what I think are interesting topics. Previous teachers have drilled into my head the use of these techniques and I use them fervently, but without adding my own personality to the paper. Anyone who has met me knows that in person I am quite crazy, but none of my works carry this outgoing personality. I have become so accustomed to doing strictly analytical pieces, I have lost my voice. Now that I reach what I call the “anti-English” class, where I am encouraged to bend the rules of everything I have done before, I notice that my typical writing style is not up to scruff. Looking through my peers’ essays has dramatically increased my appreciation for voice. Two prime examples of voice include Vielmette and House. When discussing topics, Vielmette jokingly proposed “Logs vs. Trees;” however, he later went on to choose this seemingly random topic. While just his concept screams humorous originality, his piece itself contains an excellent flow of voice. He makes it seem like being a tree is an adventure; my first time reading his introduction immediately made me think, “I wish I was a tree.” Let us sit down and think about this for a second… you want to be… a tree. How ridiculous is that? But Vielmette’s use of voice and literary techniques bring this seemingly dumb idea to life. House on the other hand does not even try to mask his voice. While talking to him at lunch today, he encouraged me to give him feedback on his essay. I was initially quite shocked to find he had broken the fourth wall of writing and was discussing the act of choosing a topic. His blatant use of humor in nearly every line of his rough draft left me in fits of hysteria. While House’s humor may outweigh his rhetoric at the moment, I believe polishing his piece could result in a wonderful satirical essay. My peers have given me many ideas of using voice in my works; hopefully I can learn to use voice as well as they can in future pieces.
6 Symington
Since I am doing the photo essay, I am going to try and juxtapose between frontline and drumline which are the two main band subsections in the percussion section for marching band. I chose to compare and contrast these two sections because for one, it is something that I know a lot about; I have been involved in it for the past four years. Secondly, they may seem quite similar in some cases but in reality they have a lot of unique differences that, if somebody was not paying very close attention, they would easily miss. Some examples of composition strategies that I can adopt from other peers would include things like effectively trying to capture the idea of how the two sections are similar and different in pictures without becoming too wordy with the subject. A few other things that I could adopt to make my photo essay flow better is to not just use the same sentence starters during each slide.
After reading through a few of my peer’s essays, I noticed that I can Harvison had excellent sentence structure and variation along with new sentence starters that kept me eager to keep reading. Johnke developed his ideas very well in explaining a topic that I do not know much about. Headrick’s comparison-contrast essay kept me and I am sure many others entertained with a hilarious topic but a serious manner. Much like Headrick’s essay, Sjogren has found a unique comparison for two opposing outfits--sweatpants and jeans-- in which she expertly uses different word choice to enhance many parts of her essay. In my opinion, reading many of my other classmate’s essays has helped me realize what I can do to improve my own writing styles and techniques. Throughout my photo essay, I hope to use some of their techniques to better my own.
1Jeanson
As I read other papers I find a wide variety of writing styles. The most iconic that I have read were Mr. Vielmette’s, Ms. Hicks’, and Ms. Ellis’. In Mr. Vielmette’s essay he has this amazing view on something that I’m fairly certain no one would ever think to write about. He has also managed to mix analytical reasonings and an odd topic. I aspire to be able to mix personality and scientific reasoning in a fluid way without making it sound as if the essay was written by two different people. I do manage to put lots and lots of personality into my essays but not quite as well as anything Ms. Hicks has done. She has a way with words that can make something meaningful and hilarious all at the same time. The start of my essay and the introduction of her’s are kinda similar and I really like how she started off with a scenario instead of just jumping into a thesis. It really helps to connect the reader to the paper and draw them in in order to continue reading what will ultimately be an amazing essay if it is being written by Ms. Hicks. In Ms. Ellis’ essay the reader is reading about things that we (Americans) are dealing with in real life right this moment and she is using an outline to organize her thoughts. I’m not really using an outline persay but I do have all my ideas right alongside my essay. Ms. Ellis is most definitely a writer and I can never hope to be as good as she is at putting thoughts on paper. I really wish I could reach the level of understanding she has with a keyboard or a pen, but for now I can use her as an inspiration to keep working harder in order to achieve maximize my composition skills.
7Haase
I think it's very important to read others essays and consider their positions on their writings because it provides motivation and inspiration on what to write in our essay, By reading our classmates essays we can improve our own writing skills by learning new ways to work things in order to make sentence structure, grammar, and word choice to create a more unified piece of work we can be proud of.
The first essay I read was written by the always lovely Miss Livingston. I have known her for a many years now and have just recently gotten to know her even better and it has been a delight. What I have learned is her undying love for cats, and to no surprise she chose to right dogs versus cats. As I read her essay, I couldn't help but to laugh at her creativity as it flowed onto the page from her brain. She does a very good job of following guidelines, while spicing up her essay with funny detail that no one would ever think of. I am very much a dog person, so while reading hers I found things that I would greatly improve my own compare and contrast essays like word choice, and incorporating aspects like metaphors, similes, and other components we have learned throughout our years in english. In her compelling work that juxtaposes cats and dogs--a classic set of foes put forth by nature--she personifies them well, like they have very humanistic qualities that provides a certain spunkiness to her essay.
I also read through Mr. Else's essay and was pleasantly surprised by this also classic pairing. Most people would recognize this off the bat, and it automatically can help keep people interested in his essay, even though it could do hat on its own. Else does a really good job of varying how he starts his sentences, and also the order of his sentence structure. His word choice is very strong, I even had to look up some words. One thing I noticed was how repetitive his subjects were. I understand though that it is difficult to write if the subject is the same in every single sentence.
7 Scherb
Some composition strategies I hope to be able to adopt from my peers and friends are: to be able to start my sentences in a different and interesting way other than using “the” and “these/this” so often, using more sentence variety through complex, compound, and compound complex sentences, and to use more interesting and deeper words that most people might not immediately think of to keep the writing interesting, yet understandable. I find that starting sentences with “the” and other bland words similar to that is a large habit in my writing. In my classification essay, I tried to minimize the amount of sentences I started in each paragraph with “the” and similar words. I also want to try to get using more different types of sentences to keep my essays interesting and flowing nicely. It can sometimes be a challenge to get them worked in there without prior thinking about it. I also want to continue to try to add more unique words, or words that are synonymous but different from the regular word.
Someone whose writing I really enjoyed reading and learned a lot from was Livingston E. Her topic was one that I am familiar with, and it interested me already. Her classifications were top notch and writing kept me interested. I also very much enjoyed Hanson’s essay. His use of sentence variation and excellent transitions keep the writing flowing and gave me an interest in his topic. His transitions melted right into the next topic, and I hope that I can learn to really get my paragraphs together in that same way, so that my readers hopefully will not be able to notice a huge change besides the break in paragraphs. Almost everyone whose paper I read were all very good, and I felt that I could take something from each and every one of the papers that I read.
1Reese
I have always struggled on relating an analogy to the real world, to something that makes it more understandable. I believe that Hoffmann does this extremely well in his compare and contrast essay, comparing his topic to Loony Tunes. Overall, I like his essay because of the way he compares and contrast two things that most people would not really believe have and similarities other than they are both pets, those two things being cats and parakeets. I would also like to adopt some of his writing styles, the way he writes it just flows beautifully. His transitions are also wonderful and I would like to draw from that to make my essay better and more entertaining. I think one of my weaknesses when it comes to composing an essay is the transitions from paragraph to paragraph, if I could improve on this I believe that my essays would much, much better. Also, I always struggle on starting and ending an essay and I think Hoffmann started his essay very well. A strong intro paragraph sets your essay up for success and allows you to compose easier. Additionally, I would like to say I love Woessner’s compare and contrast topic, upperclassmen and underclassmen, this topic has a lot of range and possibilities to explore and compare which makes it such an interesting topic to me. I love my compare and contrast topic a lot as well but looking at the topics of others is so interesting, there are so many essays I would love to read like Headrick’s essay, comparing pancakes and waffles. Also, Bachman’s essay, comparing the LCS and the NFL, would be number one on my list to read because of my love for the game League of Legends and my joy of watching the NFL, especially the Broncos.
6 Eigenberg
Peers are our greatest source of information. We learn so much from what our peers say and do. As the Bible says, iron sharpens iron as one man sharpens another man. Composition strategies are no different than any other things we pick up from our peers. If a peer says a hilarious joke, you are bound to repeat it at some point. That same occurrence happens with composition strategies. One main strategy I can pick up from my peers would be how to flow from sentence to sentence and paragraph to paragraph. Another composition strategy that I can acquire from my peers is the use of more intelligent words. It is difficult to find new words to replace others that are overused. There are many strategies out there to use, but the only way I am going to find out what they are and how to use them I must look at my peers’ essays.
Talcott uses great verbiage throughout his entire essay. I plan on talking to him about how I can bring that into my essay in an appropriate manner that fits my personality. Talcott also varies his sentence starters superbly. Using other words than “they”, “the”, or “a” to begin a sentence is a definite issue when it comes to my essay composition. Talcott uses gerunds to begin his sentences and I plan on bringing that into my essay as well. Clemenson uses comment boxes to tell him what needs to be done later. This is an interesting composition strategy that I will put to use in all of my future essays to further their excellence. Clemenson also uses the comment bubbles to ask questions of grammar to people that are proofreading. This strategy is also effective in that it will benefit him to have the best grammar possible due to many people acknowledging the place that may contain an error.
1 Willard
To start, i definitely could have spent a little more time on creating a metaphor for my essay. Broekemeier does a fantastic job of employing the use of metaphor in his essay where he compares many ways in which people react to everyday situations. His analogy includes that of varying fighting styles. Also, another thing he does quite well is staying on topic. On occasion, in my essay, i found myself deviating from the actual base idea of the paragraph therefore reducing the effectiveness of the message I was trying to convey. I feel this happened given the more non essential variety that was included, the more the message was likely to be misconstrued. Munson does a good job of incorporating the stipulated pieces of the essay such as vocabulary in a non forced way. I felt when writing mine, it felt forced, and due to that, the essay became less unique and less mine. Munson also does a fantastic job of providing basis for what he is saying through factual information that seems genuinely accurate. I feel having that factual basis is essential. In my essay, most everything i was writing was strictly based upon opinion and observation. That isn’t necessarily wrong, however, it isn’t the most effective method of writing given that not everything being said is accurate. Bachman does a good job of almost telling in a story through his description of each category. Because he did this, I feel I can more closely relate to the categories that he is describing. Bachman also uses a sort of humorous theme throughout, which i can genuinely appreciate. That humor makes the essay significantly more enjoyable to read. You don’t have to struggle through it and because of that, it's much easier to read and understand until the very end.
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